It must get annoying for people who have never seen The Office to hear us talking about it all the time. Hell, before I watched Game of Thrones, my eyes would literally (yes, literally) roll back in my head and fall out of my asshole anytime someone mentioned the words White Walkers. But as anyone who isn’t an idiot knows, The Office isn’t Game of Thrones. It’s way, way better.
And until you’ve fully submerged yourself in the world of Michael, Dwight, Jim, Pam, Andy, and Angela (along with a few other noteworthy folks), you won’t understand why most of us just watch the show on a continuous loop. It’s just. that. good.
So, naturally, when I was perusing Facebook and scrolling past engagement announcements and kids who just purchased homes even though there is no way in hell they can actually afford them, something made me stop that didn’t involve other people’s happiness. A post from one of my less-bright sorority sisters with a link to an article titled, “CONFIRMED: The Office US is returning in 2018” made my heart stop and my blood run cold.
From the most likely extremely reputable source, Pagez (with a “z”):
Last week we heard the news that NBC bosses have given writers the go ahead to create a new season of The Office US. Today, we hear the news that writer, Mindy Kaling is ready to write.
This week has been full of Office news ever since star Jenna Fischer posted an old un-shot episode script on Instagram. Calling out the crew to get back together and shoot!
This is the picture that Jenna “Pam” Fisher posted on her Instagram.
The article then goes on to taunt us by saying:
Her husband in television, John Krasinski, also said he would come back in a heart beat after saying “It was the best years of my life.” Kaling spoke to EW about the decision to do a three part series that will give the fans the answers they desperately crave for the “Where Are They Now” questions.
The first part will focus on Steve Carell’s iconic role, Michael Scott, and his new life in Colorado with his wife and CHILDREN! The second part will focus on Jim and Pam and their new family life in Austin. The third part will focus on Rainn Wilson’s character, the one and only Dwight Schrute, and his life on his beet farm as well as life in Scranton, PA who now occupies the Office now that so many of the original characters have moved away.
Although there is no official air date for the new episodes, Kaling stated they will be aiming for the Summer of 2018!!!!
Now rumors about an Office reboot have been circulating for a few months ever since Steve Carell jokingly tweeted that the show was returning. That said, he has since confirmed that there’s really no way in hell he’s going to come back as Michael Scott.
Which is fine. I get it. He has great points. The show wouldn’t be the same, and as much as we *think* we want to see more from our favorite characters, the stories were all tied up so perfectly, it would be stupid to mess with it. You know, like creating the 8th installment of a story about a boy wizard, even though it had the best ending of all time. Whatever! It’s all good!
So, I can accept that the show is over. Hell, maybe it’s even better this way. Each and every time I get to the finale, I can cry quietly to myself as Andy says his “good ole days” line, and feel the bittersweet peace of knowing all of the characters got their happily ever afters before I start it over again at season 1 episode 1.
Still, when dumb, uneducated people share fake news(!) articles about how the best show ever created is coming back, it brings up a lot of conflicting feelings. Each and every time, I feel a rush of joy, then anxiety, then shame, as I visit whatever trash website is spewing this dangerous garbage. I sift through the ads and accept the fact that my computer will probably combust from visiting these sites, and spend the next hour researching whether or not the rumors are true. And in this case? It turns out that The Office isn’t coming back, no matter what your Greek sister who got a degree in hospitality and is still serving at Buffalo Wild Wings says.
I mean, come on. You think pregnant Mindy who is slated to be in a million movies next year is going to write the show? Or how about B.J. Novak, who is hopefully the father and is busy tending to Mindy’s every whim? And if, and this is the big if, the cast was really coming back, Netflix and/or NBC would be marketing the shit out of it. Because the summer of 2018 isn’t actually that far away.
So, everyone. Stop falling into the reboot trap. I know every other show is coming out with a monumental return of their cast. I know it’s easy to just share an article without truly digging into it. But that’s how you get into political debates with your racist uncle from Ohio, and that’s how you disappoint other people who just hope for something good in this world, like the return of the Jell-O pranks.
And while sure, we’d all gobble an Office reboot up like it’s 2 a.m. and we got free Taco Bell, it truly doesn’t seem to be in the cards for us. If we’re being really, truly honest with ourselves, it’s probably better that way. You know what they always say: It’s better not to try things in case you fail, then to give something a shot and crash and burn. On the other hand, however, as Micahel Scott and Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
At this point, I truly don’t know what to think. Your move, NBC. .