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A while back, I wrote a letter to dating, officially breaking up with it . While most of you probably considered that satire – I mean, how can I expect to get married if I’m not “putting myself out there?” – I assure you that I was Completely. Fucking. Serious. And a new trend amongst daters demonstrates why I am totally content to grow old surrounded by porn, cats, and fleece blankets.
According to The New York Post, the newest trend in dating is called “benching.” Being that I haven’t personally experienced benching since I’m on a self-imposed dating hiatus, let’s review the definition provided by the article:
“Benching is when someone will text you enough to stay on your radar, but they don’t actually make concrete plans to see you again. Basically, they’re not that into you, but aren’t so not into you that they want to ditch you entirely. Benching happens between people who’ve been on one or two dates, with the rest of their non-relationship playing out via text.”
Ah, ok, I think I get it. Benching happens when someone is kind of cool, but not worthy of actually making additional plans with. So you keep them on the hook via random texts, just in case. The bencher is “really busy” so you blame the lack of plans on schedules as opposed to lack of interest, meaning that you can’t get pissed at the douche who can’t carve out an hour of his/her life for a drink. Got it.
Holy shit, people are devious. Like, who sits around and consciously does this? Honestly, I think I’d rather be ghosted then benched. At least if someone just disappears, the hope of any possible relationship disappears along with them. Of course, the “nice” thing to do instead of ghosting or benching would be to simply tell someone you aren’t interested, but then again, nice guys finish last, right?.
[via The New York Post]
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
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This sounds like it’s along the lines of the whole “FOMO” thing that our generation has. “Yeah this person is cool enough, but what if there’s someone better?”
People suck.
Benching would be an upgrade over current situation. PGP
Shit, this is definitely happening to me right now…. Damn you Laquepha
Easy solution to benching; call them out on their shit. You may not get the answer you want, but it’s better than being strung along.
The dinosaur is right. I was getting benched, called the young lady out on it and within 36 hours was in her bed…then got benched again, called her out again and am now on Bumble…
Benching seems like a new phrase for coward- if you don’t like someone enough to see them, seems a waste to bother texting.
My ex had a fully loaded bench ready to by the time I got out.
I can’t even get people to bench me.
This makes me feel better about being ghosted. Still shitty, but not as shitty as being dangled along
Just a lead-up to ghosting.
Stringing someone along has been a thing forever. It’s just a little bit easier now because texting is really easy. Refuse to play the bench, guys. Remember, quitters never lose.