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I’m listening to Phish’s “A Live One” album and having a debate with myself over whether I should go to the grocery store or just order a pizza. My bedside table has an empty Michelob Ultra on it and I hate myself right now.
This weekend was supposed to be about rest and relaxation. I ended up going out two nights in a row and I had to have consumed at least 24 Michey Mantles in that time period. It’s going to be a two shower day for me as I can still feel booze freely flowing out of my pores.
I got a snap of someone shotgunning a Michelob Ultra at 7:00 a.m. this morning and I legitimately almost puked. You guys are sick, but in a really good way. Call your mom, you degenerates. Let’s get into it.
Nothing says “Thanks for carrying me in your womb and taking care of me” quite like a case of Michelob Ultra. Is it a mom beer? Absolutely. But it’s also for the modern day sportsman.
My head hurts just looking at all of those empty Ultras. I need to stop drinking so much every weekend this is unhealthy.
PSA: Brush your tongue, you guys. Only you can prevent halitosis. Also, sup?
I think this is photo of the week. Juxtaposition, lighting – this pic has it all. Look at that glass. It’s poetic.
Every. single. week. Without fail, someone sends me a snap of them at a PGA tour event crushing Mich Ultras. I love it, but just know I’m incredibly jealous.
This picture begs one question: is Whataburger the most overrated fast food in the world? I’m leaning towards yes.
Are those deucers?
If you didn’t take pics of your crawfish boil you didn’t even really crawfish boil.
My friends are too lazy to ever put together a beer olympics. I’ve always wanted to do one. Smh.
Room with a motherfucking view. Goddamn.
The Michelob Ultra roadie. A tradition that I cannot condone under any circumstances.
Nipple piercings are all the rage right now. Huge fan.
Call me.
This is the kind of energy I like to see. Good job, great effort. Your attitude determines your altitude.
Call me.
What year is it? People still drink Four Loko?
I got a bucket of Ultras on Friday night and a table full of girls next to us kept calling me a dandy. It was awesome.
Michelob Ultra is the perfect wedding beer. Those two things just fit together perfectly.
If you don’t know, now you know.
Chicago has a glaring lack of public golf courses. I am ITCHING to play.
I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. Athletes only.
This is dope as hell. I would have tried to steal it.
This was a funny video. I don’t think it ever saw the light of day which is probably for the best. The only line I remember saying was “John Duda, writer for PGP. I love cigarettes.”
I’ve heard that too, actually.
That’s all I’ve got for you this weekend. It was a long one and I’m honestly looking forward to work tomorrow. I drank like a fucking fish all weekend and my body needs a break. Drink responsibly. .
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Every time I make the Mich Ultra Weekend in Review, I know I’m truly living my best life.
Sup?
I think the conmbination of you telling a girl to brush her tongue and still supping her sums you up perfectly
You all give Duda shit yet take pictures of your beer and send it to him in the hopes that he will put it online
A Snapshot From Michelob’s Monday Morning Marketing Meeting:
Sam nervously fidgets in her chair, rearranging a stack of papers and excel printouts. She couldn’t believe she had to spend her whole weekend meticulously pouring over some blog looking for every mention of Michelob Ultra. Sure, her parents had been a little pissed that she missed Mother’s Day brunch with Nana, but they’d get it. It was her first big presentation as an associate.
“Okay seriously, where the fuck is Chad, he was supposed to be here 15 minutes early to go over everything”, she thought to herself, “I can’t believe I dated that asshole when we were interns”
Just then, Chad sauntered into the room, twirling his e-cig and inexplicably still wearing a pair of sunglasses.
“Chad, seriously, are you wearing a fucking a Hawaiian shirt under your suit. You realize we have to give a presentation today right?” Sam hissed at Chad when he plopped down in his chair. Somehow she knew Chad was rolling his eyes.
“Uh yeah” Chad said, “It’s Spring Sam? Read a book. Anyway what are all these papers?”
“All these papers? This is the analysis of Michelob Ultra mentions to the new demo sales year over year”. Sam started to gush, this was honestly an amazing find and she had to give Chad some credit. “It actually shows that sales started to increase in line with site mentions of MU. I think this could be big”
“Oh, that’s chill” Chad replied, looking at ESPN on his phone “You do anything fun this weekend? I got annihilated on Saturday night and was super hungover for Mother’s Day. My parents were pissed, it was hilarious”
“Um no…wait weren’t you working this weekend? You did get ahold of those Grandex people right?” Sam was getting nervous. Chad could totally fuck this up for her.
“Sam, chill of course I did. I totally snapped that Duder guy a picture of my Mich Ultras from this weekend and he opened it. You could say negotiations are already under way. Just let me do the talking”
Sam put her head down on the cool table. Just then everyone else walked in. “Okay everyone, let’s get started! Sam, Chad, we’ll start with your exciting news about Ultra”.
To be absolutely honest with you that is way too long to read on this fine Monday morning
Whataburger is like Mich Ultras. Either you get it or you don’t.
i can get down with whata taquitos
I’ll never understand why anyone thinks Whataburger and Thundercloud are in any way standout fast food restaurants.
It’s probably a mindset similar to what has otherwise intelligent people drinking Michelob Ultras.
Because everyone thinks the thing they have is good because it’s theirs.
They must not have tried in-n-out
That was my pic and I agree, Whata is overrated
Mich Ultra at a PGA event is turning into the Washington State flag waving at every single College Gameday. I have faith the loyal readers will keep those snaps coming.
screenshot my snap and then don’t put it up on the review #shade
Duda I know you’re hailing from Mich but you don’t broil crawfish.
I need that Ultra golf statue. Also just looking at that four loko made me nauseous….
I remember watching that video on TFM. Not sure if it’s still up or not though.
You may not condone my roadie but dirt roads have different rules