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A lot goes into making a house party truly great. You need a hot playlist with songs that span a vast spectrum. A keg for the masses is not needed, but it’s certainly a plus. Girl to guy ratio needs to be respectable. And Michelob Ultra should obviously be in abundance.
Did I have all of these things at the party I hosted on Saturday night? You bet your sweet ass I did. We provided a keg, but because of circumstances out of my control I wasn’t able to get it full of Ultra.
I had a personal case of Michy Mantles on standby for the when keg inevitably ran out, and I even shotgunned a few of them just to show everyone at the party that I am in fact an athlete. It was a great party and it’s a shame none of you were there to participate. Big, big weekend for Kentucky Derby/Michelob Ultra-themed pics. Also of note was Cinco de Mayo, but I stayed in Friday night and watched Star Wars Rogue One. It wasn’t good. Your snaps were, though. Let’s get into it.
Golf club taps are so fucking classy.
Clearly, she had just finished working out. The key to a solid workout is having Michelob Ultras on deck afterwards. 10/10 snap.
America, baby.
This guy looks like a maniac. I respect the White Sox jersey, though. I can’t stand Cubs fans.
If I’m being completely honest I don’t like margaritas all that much. I’ll drink ’em from time to time, but I can usually only get one down before my stomach starts to hurt. So yeah, I agree with this guy.
I guess we should try and make #FuckMargs a thing.
I laughed out loud at this one, I’m not gonna lie.
A rare shot of a Cactus Lime resting between what appears to be a mountainous region.
An Ultra with an Ultra koozie. How meta.
I’d like to see this dude run a 40 yard dash. Bet I’d dust him.
Just your run of the mill Mich Ultra snap. No frills, just Mich.
Missouri is Mich Ultra country.
Not a Michelob Ultra, just some Tom Selleck lookalike. I had a mustache going this weekend too and this one blew mine out of the fucking water.
Go Green.
I don’t condone smoking illegal drugs, but the point remains – Michelob Ultra: It’s a goddamn movement.
I’m down for the cause.
Always wanted to make one of those tables. Too lazy to ever do it, though.
I hope that beer was skunky and it wasn’t enjoyable.
Wow. One upping me in a big way. I called five different liquor stores looking for a Michelob Ultra keg and not one of them had one. West side of Chicago is decidedly not about that life.
Blow me. Your school is trash.
Uhhh I don’t know if you should be bragging about falling off the wagon. Appreciate the love, though.
Would.
A trend I’ve been noticing? I get no less than ten snaps every weekend from people drinking Mich Ultras at golf tournaments. Why are you all going to PGA events all of the time and not inviting me?
My last year in college I would bring beers with me to the library. It was so badass.
Cool guys. Rub it in.
I couldn’t have fathomed drinking a beer yesterday. I’m still hungover from Saturday as I type this.
These roadie snaps are great. Need someone to chauffeur me around so I can wear crocs and crush Mantles.
Ahhh yes. Early May and every golf course in the midwest is looking like they need a littttttle bit of maintenance. At least you got out there and swung the clubs.
Looks like your friends ordered the wrong beer.
That’s all I’ve got for you from this weekend. Keep living the Ultra life to the fullest. Let’s have a week. .
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
A snippet from Michelob’s marketing Monday meeting:
“Sam, I’m looking at the numbers and here and our Ultra numbers in the 25-35 year old male demo are off the charts. Was there some new campaign I wasn’t keyed into?”
Sam furiously shuffles papers around, looking for any explanation and trying to avoid eye contact. Sam had a bit of a rough derby weekend, and the three Advil and Alka-Seltzer cold brew just wasn’t cutting it.
“Uhh..I’m not sure boss. Might be a calculation issue. I’ll touch base with my team and make sure everything is tightened up for the directors conference call later today.”
“Hey boss…” Chad slowly took his feet off the table, and took a long drag from his e-cig. Everyone thought Chad was a douche but his dad was an EVP in legal so no one said anything.
“I think I know what’s going on. On some frat blog I follow..” Chad started..
“Fucking of course Chad reads a frat blog” thought Sam. “What an asshole”.
“Some guy named dude has been convincing people our shit is tight. Maybe we should throw em a few bills for a sponsorship?”
Ignoring the positively asinine language the boss looked over at Chad dismissively, “Chad, get serious here, there is no way some blog could get that demo to drink Ultra. Everyone knows we made that beer for 40 year old women on crash diets that have a drinking problem. I’ll take a look at it later though. Thanks for the heads up and tell your father I say hello”.
This almost deserves its own article
I’d drink an ultra with Chad
Shibby is going to throw fists if #FuckMargs becomes a thing
Don’t poke the bear. I condone Margs and smoking legal drugs.
Throw claws* people often forget he’s a bear. Thankfully he’s out hunting for salmon the next few days so he can’t read Duda’s heresy.
I gave your Ultra a try this weekend. I sharted myself this morning and now I’m “working from home” while I make up an excuse for my fiancé that won’t make her question her love for me. Thanks a lot, JD
Sharts happen… (side note: with all the side projects going on i.e. DCO hats, how come the Boners Happen shirts never came to fruition?)
What is wrong with you? Rouge one is good!
I was about to blast you for the shit take on margaritas, but you redeemed yourself by insulting that school up north. Fuck Michigan.
What’s the beer for washed up athletes that “almost went pro”
Mich ultra isn’t bad, but is it worth the $2-4 premium at my local store over the old reliable bud or miller light? That remains to be seen
This is literally just people taking pictures of beer cans…
We get it, you love Michelob Ultra. Next Schtick please!
Said the kettle