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The new Williamsburg Whole Foods is the gift that keeps on giving. Yes, it’s surprising that Williamsburg just got a Whole Foods in the first place, but now that they have it, it’s becoming more and more entertaining. Their food selection has already been noted as one of the most hipster in the country, and now they’re dipping into the “basic” category with this recent cake discovery.
LaCroix, the sparkling water that largely tastes like sunscreen, has become a staple in the basic bitch community. Entry-level social media marketing postgrads and sorority girls alike, LaCroix is the basic drink of choice if you’re trying to dominate Pinterest and Instagram. And now, things have escalated to the point where the Williamsburg Whole Foods has actually created a fucking cake in the same style as the trademark LaCroix cans.
Luckily, there’s no actually any LaCroix in it because that would be fucking disgusting. I’m not sure what the motivation is behind making a sugar-filled cake to resemble a product that touts itself being sugar-free, vegan-friendly, gluten-free, and Kosher, but I assume it’s probably Instagram because the basic community is like a cult who congregates there every weekend for hours on end. Lord knows that no one is going to actually eat this thing.
I’d say “God help us all,” but this Brooklyn Whole Foods is too good to be true. Keep doing what you’re doing, Williamsburg. It’s highly entertaining. .
[via Gothamist]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I can very easily picture you sipping a LaCroix while picking up fresh organic produce at Whole Foods this afternoon, Will.
Did Whole Foods yesterday, did Trader Joe’s this morning.
Chill, you should do an article breaking down your monthly spending. Put it all in categories like “Basic Bitch”, “Sizzle”, “GF Retainer”, “Miata Savings” and the like, so all us postgrads can know if we’re on the right track. I’d read that
Brand new WF and TJ’s within a mile of my house. Have had a grocery boner for three straight weeks.
Might want to see a doctor.
Tito’s and grapefruit LaCroix are a summertime staple.
LaCroix is my drink of choice right now. It’s basic, but it hits the spot in terms of carbonation. I’m trying to substitute it for my Coca Cola addiction and cut down on my added sugar intake.
Topo-Chico. Have some self-respect.
Thank you for the recommendation! Will check out
Only being able to afford the store brand sparkling water. PGP.
Lime is GOAT La Croix flavor. Come at me.
I tried to curb my soda addiction with LaCroix. But then I decided I don’t hate myself that much.