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There’s a coffee spot that I hit at least once a week when I feel like treating myself and/or am too lazy to make breakfast. Their menu is vegan-friendly, their coffees are better with butter, and everything about eating and drinking there makes me fully aware that I’m millennial scum. I’m not ashamed, though, because this should surprise no one.
But the unspoken beauty of this place? The people watching. As with any coffee shop that doesn’t rhyme with “car shucks,” you’re going to run into an eclectic crowd. But once you start putting collagen into your iced coffees, you’re going to get an even more eclectic crowd.
It just so happens this coffee shop was featured on an Instagram account that came across my feed – and the entire account is an absolute diamond in the rough.
It’s called Hipster Missed Connections and at the time of posting this, they have just 374 followers. But with such a modest following, their posts do not disappoint.
I don’t know how one could possibly differentiate between all the people with “kale” sweatshirts and Birkenstocks on, but I hope these two find each other at one farmer’s market or another.
Hopefully not all things yeast. With these two, you just fet the feeling that they’ve shared a Kombucha mother at some point.
I think I gave this person a dollar once.
Been low key considering buying some clear Warby Parker frames myself, but it’s just not in my budget considering how much money I’ve been spending in between yoga sessions at Whole Foods.
I get the feeling that these two wouldn’t be interested in the same double date ideas as I would be. But hey, more power to them and their gray / man-bunned hair.
Follow the account and enjoy more of their too-hipster-to-be-true missed connections. Hell, you might even be a part of one next time you’re getting some grass-fed collagen in your coffee. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
I SAW YOU COMMENTED ON LAST WEEK’S TGDAG. I ALSO READ TGDAG. SUP?
I don’t, but redheads make me all tingly inside.
Sup
I’m going to hope you’re getting downvoted for not reading TGDAG and not because of your good taste in redheads
I know I would hate these people even without meeting them.
I don’t know what kombucha is.
Sounds like you’re not getting your probiotics then, bro.
Probiotics are beta.
There is nothing beta about my post ‘bucha bowl movement.
I think there is a spelling error here but I hope there is a bucha bowl movement happening
Lets just say I let my bucha ferment a little to long before drinking
Joe Rogan advocates probiotics. You sir, are no Joe Rogan.
Your coffee shop (and this instagram) sound infuriating.
I hate to leave one of those tired overused stereotypical comments like “sup” or “congrats on the sex,” but your username truly does “check out.”
Quit checking me out.
Can anyone explain to me why gray hair is a thing for younger women now? You tryna be old already?
Clooney effect.
That’s why I stick to the donut shop K cups
Bought a pair of warby Parker glasses for under $100 including the lenses. That’s a deal you just can’t pass up even if they are “hipster” glasses.
Agreed, got my last pair from there as well.
But did you order a Coffee with grass-fed collagen protein Will? Did you?
this has got to be satire, right?
C’mon Phil this isn’t your first rodeo. I’m only surprised it took this long for something like this to come up, but not surprised Will found it.
Some of the comments on them are funnier than the posts themselves. “I’m so glad this account exists. I used to read about missed connections in the back of the Chronicle!”