The Great Couples Costume Debate

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Growing up, picking a Halloween costume was one of the most important decisions we had to make. Were you going to go with your favorite movie character? What you wanted to be when you grow up (like working at a shitty sales job and gaining 20 lbs lol)? A classic monster like Dracula or a witch?

Whatever you chose, it was a big effing deal. You’d get an overpriced costume, or your parents would spend a stupid amount of time putting together something that looked good enough so you didn’t feel bad at the school costume parade. You’d flap your cape around, pretend to talk like Darth Vader, and do your best to put a spell on your annoying little sister. You’d spend days conferring with your friends, deciding your plan of action for trick or treating — which houses to hit up, which ones to skip, which ones had drunk parents who sat outside in lawn chairs and made you feel uncomfortable. We lived Halloween. We breathed Halloween. We were Halloween.

And then? Well, we grew up. We moved out and got jobs that weren’t what we wanted to be when we grew up. We traded Halloween candy for shitty shots and the thought of spending $50+ on a costume you’d wear for one night then throw up on was out of the question. Some of us got creative and put our Greek Life crafting skills to good use. And everyone else? Well, they just succumbed to wearing a lame ass mask and calling it a night. And then, everyone got wifed up. And with getting wifed up came, of course, the couples costumes.

Now, few Halloween topics are as controversial as the couples costume. Some people hate them, some people live for them. And as we drag our hungover bodies out of Halloweekend and get ready to face the real holiday, the two sides have never been more clear and yet, more divided.

Argument FOR The Couples Costume

Whether you’re the brains or just the mannequin behind the look, a well-done couples costume blows any solo costume out of the water any damn day. Sure, Daenerys is a great, though basic, costume. But how do you make her epic? Add a Jon Snow and grab his well-toned ass all night. Think being Dwight Schrute is solid? Add a cat-covered Angela and watch the IG likes roll in. If you’re not one who loves Halloween, being a part of a couples costume is a sure fire way to ensure that you still look great on the holiday without actually doing any work. Because if there’s one thing girls love, it’s dressing their boyfriends up in a matching costume that will convince everyone they’re as happy as their #MCM posts make them seem.

Argument AGAINST The Couples Costume

Whether the couple tried too hard, didn’t try hard enough, or are just plain annoying, it would be nice if just once this duo didn’t flaunt their relationship status all over the fucking place. Odds are they picked a basic ass costume that he is going to regret the moment she posts it on social media. As if she didn’t have his balls in a tight enough vice, she had to dress him up as Peter fucking Pan? If the fact that they can’t independently wear costumes they’re both proud of doesn’t make you sick, your jealousy that you’re alone, unloved, and not about to win any costume contest either should do the trick.

So, whether or not you chose to practice the age-old tradition of making single people feel like shit and dressing up with your SO, be sure to remember the true reason for the season — throwing up a mixture of candy corn and tequila well into mid-week..

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Varina

if it doesn't have snack or seats, i'm not there. hate mail/Sunny references can be sent to itsrachelvarina@gmail.com

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