======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
It’s another day in paradise for me as I take a slab of butter from a tray on the counter and flick it onto a pan that is slowly but surely beginning to heat up from the gas range in my kitchen.
It’s Saturday morning, and I’m uninterested in going out to brunch, an activity that I deemed a completely unnecessary expense some years ago. Sidenote: Generally, I’ll wait until my friends have finished their brunch, at which point I’ll meet them to start the drinking portion of the meal.
I have Cafe Bustelo brewing on the opposite end of the kitchen, and I’m about to get two large eggs from my refrigerator to begin making my meal. Two slices of sourdough are pulled from a bag in the pantry and placed upright in a toaster which needs to be replaced, but for my purposes, it will do the job just fine.
Years ago, the meal that I’m about to prepare would be considered a fine breakfast, but we live in an age where eggs benedict, poached egg whites, and far more complicated egg dishes rule the roost.
Two eggs over easy with two slices of toasted sourdough isn’t what it used to be, though. We’re too caught up in a breakfast/brunch arms race, competing to see which of us can get the best Instagram off as we break our yolks over a bed of avocado and whatever the hell else you’re getting overcharged for at a restaurant.
Brunch-goers have become a completely unhinged group, making a meal which once was about getting a base in your stomach into something else. It’s no longer about the food, the scene, the aesthetic, the crowd that you are dining with is what is important now.
We’re chasing a dragon that we’re never going to catch when we could just be having two eggs over easy with toast and getting the same fulfillment that we would get from any other breakfast dish. If you’re not into sunny side up I don’t see a problem in going the scrambled route. I’ve never been a scrambled egg man myself, but two or three scrambled eggies with some cheese is a comparable, appropriate substitute for the no-frills, over easy breakfast that I’m speaking of.
The eggs, cooked in butter, are flipped as the edges of the yolk begin to turn light brown. They’re left to cook for ten to fifteen seconds depending on the heat of the stove, and then plated with a sprinkling of salt and pepper. The bread (I prefer a sourdough or Italian but I’ll leave that up to you) is placed in the toaster about a minute before the flipping of the eggs, timing itself up perfectly to pop up just as the eggs are done cooking.
After smothering both pieces of toast in butter, both egg and bread sit side by side and you’re off to the races, sipping coffee and dunking toast in delicious, creamy yolk. You can finish the yolk by about the end of the first piece of toast, at which point I encourage you to make yourself an open-ended egg sandwich.
I learned through a lot of trial and error that sometimes the simplest option is the best bet, and never has that been truer than in the case of breakfast food. We’re trying too hard and while I find the brunch crowd to be pretty obnoxious, I can also understand where they’re coming from. Oftentimes the uncomplicated option is the correct one, but everyone needs to make mistakes in order to see the truth. I think most people who begin down the path of brunching eventually figure out what I did – it’s always best to make it a two egg over easy morning. Your body and soul will appreciate the simplicity of it, and so will your wallet. .
Image via YouTube
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
My favorite is scrambled eggs with ripped pieces of bacon dispersed throughout and hot sauce drizzled on top. I call it a salad
It will be my gift to God when I die at 32 of clogged arteries
Same here. On the weekends I’m a 4 eggs (scrambled), 4 strips of bacon and half an avocado kind of guy.
Sourdough bread is the GOAT
I’m all about this new Duda churning out solid take after solid take
Create a hole in middle of bread. Butter bread and put in skillet. Crack egg in hole. Now you have egg IN toast
love a good egg in a basket
This is the best thing I’ve ever heard
Used a bagel thin the other day- it was a great decision!
I’ll admit brunch is getting a bit ridiculous and I’m not gonna pay $20 for a fucking avocado toast that I can make at home for $3 but you’ll have to pry eggs benny and chicken & waffles outta my cold dead hands; and since I’m useless in the kitchen I’m heading out to my local hipster diner for this shit.
Agreed, but eggs benny is actually not that hard to make. Poached eggs take a little dexterity but are fairly straightforward- bring water to a low boil, take a spoon and spin the water, then crack an drop the egg (from not too high) into the vortex. Cook no more than 45 seconds and us a big spoon to scoop it out. They can be kept it a bowl with a little warm water until ready to serve, and can be kept in the fridge for up to 3 days. The vortex helps the egg get it’s shape.
Hollandaise can be made with a mixing powered and comes out quite nice, should have instructions on the back. Or:
4 yolks and 1 tbsp lemon juice whisking together heavily, put over low heat and stirring constantly to prevent the egg from scrambling. Drizzle in 1/2 cup of melted unsalted butter until thicc. add salt and cayenne as needed.
After that it’s all ham and muffin, which should be a cake walk.
The fact that it took two paragraphs to explain how “easy” it is to make eggs benny is all I need to know.
To make things even easier, just line a muffin tin with bacon or country ham, add water, then crack the egg in there and throw it in the oven. Poached egg in a meat cup you can just toss on a toasted English muffin. Knorr’s powdered hollandaise mix is also almost as good as anything I’ve had from a restaurant. From a guy who loves hollandaise.
I just boil the water, crack the egg in the water, and cook for exactly 3 minutes (start the timer). put the toast down when the egg goes in, and the timing is perfect. Poached eggs are the best!
I might try your vortex trick for the shape though
3 min for poached eggs makes me nervous, but i like my eggs a lil runny
Who is this new Duda with the agreeable takes?
our little Duda is growing up
Throw that egg onto said toast and you have yourself the perfect breakfast.
How’d you rank breakfast beverages though? Coffee, milk, or OJ?
If you’re not going with all 3, you’re not living right
OJ is just flavored sugar water with vitamins. Not great for you to start off the day.
fresh squeezed or GTFO
I do not like orange juice. Cranberry juice all the way. Also, isn’t it true that you vomit if you drink milk and orange juice together?
Two pieces of bacon, eggs cooked over easy in the grease, and two pieces of rye with butter and strawberry jelly. Done.
My specialty is a few poached eggs over some hash browns, sometimes with some peppers and onions or some sausage. Really decadent and as good a hangover cure i know.
I’m with you on a simple, home made breakfast, I just need more. Add a bagel or some more eggs or bacon etc