The Dating App For People Who Hate Everything

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Here’s a list of things I hate: acapella music, standing up for long periods of time, hot liquids, Snapchat, and Katherine Heigl. I don’t think these are unreasonable hatreds given that watching people sing in front of you without music is awkward and Katherine Heigl dated a fucking ghost on Grey’s Anatomy. Hatred is often something that’s looked upon in a poor light, which is unfortunate because hate is just so fun to spew onto other people.

Hatred bonds people, and I don’t mean that in a genocide-y way. I mean it in the “it’s fun to sit on a patio with a pitcher of something boozy in front of me judging people with like-minded individuals” kind of way. If it wasn’t for hatred, half the conversations I have with my closest friends probably wouldn’t exist. You can frown upon that all you want, but deep down, we all love to hate.

And now there’s an app that will bond you with someone that has the same mutual hatreds as you. It doesn’t match you on a series of questions, interests, or mutual friends. It matches you solely based on the shit that makes your blood boil; the stuff that makes you want to overturn a table and slap someone across the face. You know, the stuff that’s so fun to talk about with your friends who are all bonded by that same mutual hatred you share.

The app, aptly called Hater, was introduced by the 29-year-old CEO Brendan Alper who used to work for Goldman Sachs – so yeah, you could say his pockets are just a little deep. He quit to become a comedy writer, which essentially means he didn’t need that Goldman Sachs job in the first place. The idea for the app was originally a sketch he’d come up with, but he thought it made so much sense that he put the wheels in motion and did what any millennial with a little coin does – he made a fucking app.

It’s swipe-based just like every other dating app out there, and it’s full of topics for you to hate along with other singles desperate looking for love in all the wrong places. Some of the topics include “Donald Trump, gluten-free, camping, marijuana, butt selfies, and Taylor Swift as a person,” per New York Magazine, and they’re even going to implement some user-generated topics. You know, like Katherine Heigl.

Alper, who obviously is afraid of people coming at his throat for promoting hate speech, covered his bases by explaining, “We view hate speech as completely unacceptable, we have zero tolerance for any sort of bigotry or hate speech or discrimination.” Yeah, okay, buddy. Sure, I get that you don’t want bigotry and discrimination to be part of your marketing plan, but don’t act like you’re somehow above all of this given that you just created an app called Hater.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head to Starbucks where I’ll inevitably stand in line for fifteen minutes waiting for a liquid that’ll burn my tongue while some bluegrass hipster sings through their speakers. Sometimes it’s just fun to let the hate flow through your veins, which is why I’ll be downloading Hater when it’s released on February 8th. I just hope they have a Bumble BFF-type feature so my girlfriend doesn’t get pissed that I’m on a dating app. .

[via New York Magazine]

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Will

Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.

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