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Did your boss just send you an email saying “Come to my office immediately,” or did the NCAA just send you a letter informing you that you’ll never be reffing another game again after last night’s performance? No worries, Craigslist has you covered for employment.
From Nashville, TN: Process Server / Apprentice P.I.
This is my ultimate “win the lotto and go get a bucket list job to pass the time” gig. Not only would being a process server hopefully lead to some eventful run-ins (basically you’d be thrust into the plot of Pineapple Express), but the transition to being a P.I. would be a dream come true.
Most work is in the East Tennessee area but some travel to middle Tennessee may be necessary to meet client needs.
Being a P.I. in Tennessee? What more do you need in terms of an exciting Hollywood-esque career? Read one John Grisham novel and tell me you’re not geared up for this job.
From Las Vegas, NV: BudLodge.com, The Amazon for Pot is Launching, Media Gurus Wanted
Forgive me from getting on my old man soapbox for a minute, but frankly, this disgusts me.
An Amazon for pot kills small business in this country, and deprives college kids everywhere of valuable experiences that they won’t get to have if a drone is dropping off their 1/8th and blunt wraps.
I want to live in a world where college kids still have to call their buddy Ghost and venture over to his pit-bull filled apartment to buy weed; not simply log on and get some free two day shipping.
But whatever. If weed and Amazon is your thing, this job may be for you.
From Nashville, TN: Top pay if you can outrun a Jehovah’s Witness
Throw on your track shoes because…wait what the fuck how is this your headline.
We are not making fun of those hard working people but we aren’t the only one that thinks that such a scenario is funny. I can’t remember which comedian on TV told this joke but he said if the federal government had wanted to find Osama Bin Laden much sooner than they did they could have. Just tell Jehovah’s Witnesses that he wanted a bible study. The point of this humor is that we at CATS do a great work that also requires special people who really want to go out and find people.
“Hey no offense to the JW’s but that’s a super funny joke, idk some dude on TV said it, but yeah how about this job.”
From Billings, MT: Gaming machine attendant
“Do you like watching senior citizens dump their retirement into a machine that’ll never pay out? Come get paid to sadly watch them.”
From Miami, FL: ACTORS/ACTRESSES (LEAD AND EXTRAS) FOR SPANISH TELENOVELA
Do you want to steal the heart of every 80-year-old abuela watching daytime soaps?
“Visitas a Domicillio” is a sexy telenovela about 3 young doctors who make house calls to wealthy clients to pay their office bills of their clinic for the poor, and find themselves in sexual situations (for television), relationship drama, adult humor, and mature content.
Yeah….yeah that sounds like the lead in to a different kind of video production.
Job Of The Week
From Austin, TX: Bookkeeper – Grandex, Inc.
Do you like drinking hella cold brew and crunching numbers? Do you read this site daily and wonder how you could ever work at Grandex and join Dave’s wolf pack? Here’s your chance.
Grandex is looking for a talented Bookkeeper that will be responsible for many financial aspects of the company. This will be a hybrid role with some general office management responsibilities.
If you don’t have talent, just don’t even bother applying.
The Grandex office is a casual and relaxed work place where we epitomize a “work hard, play hard” mentality.
Just a reminder that you’ll have to crunch numbers as hard as everyone at PGP crunches those pageviews.
As far as qualifications go:
Desire to develop a genuine passion for the Grandex brands and products.
You can already check one off.
The ability to tactfully and effectively work with all levels of employees
Don’t be an asshole.
Must be able to throw a football farther than Dillon
I might’ve made that last one up. .
Image via Shutterstock
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Kyle Bandujo
The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.
@kylebandujo
@bandujokyle
kyle.bandit
Dylan couldn’t throw a nerf vortex 10 yards.
That lady man hand photo weirds me out every time y’all use it.
Let’s hope you made that last one up, or else (per Dillon) there are only about two to three hundred eligible candidates in the world.
Outrunning a Jehovah’s Witness might as well be a marathon