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About 80 percent of the time, tattoos are great. They’re tasteful, meaningful, and an awesome piece of detailed artwork. I’m a huge believer that if you want your body to be a canvas, who am I to judge? Go to fucking town with it. However, tattoo artists everywhere judge every Pinterest girl who walks through the door with one of the following super “creative” tattoos in mind. As the artist sighs, knowing his skills are once again to go unchallenged, he reluctantly inks you with what will later be a huge mistake. Think long and hard before getting a tattoo, because in 10 years, you will want to tell your once 18-year-old self that “apparently they’re permanent.”
A Feather Or A Dandelion That Breaks Off Into, Like, A Flock Of Birds Or Something
For a free spirit, you really lack creativity. I don’t mean to sound chastising, but come on. When I see this tattoo, I want to literally scream because I have a feeling you tell everyone that this is a symbol for being able to fly or that it’s about freedom or some other kind of nonsense. In reality, we all know you were scrolling through the Interwebs, saw it, fell in love, and booked your tat appointment. I can sympathize because it looks freaking awesome when done right. However, it’s been done right about a billion times already.
Bible Or Other Holy Text Quotes Found On Google
Religious tattoos are an absolutely fantastic idea if your religion is a big part of who you are. When you read your holy text of choice and see a line that is extremely powerful and speaks to you, then by God, permanently stamp that on your body. But if you find yourself turning to search the web for “awesome bible quotes for tattoos,” stop right where you are. A Psalm number on your wrist is not a ticket to heaven. You think heaven cares what is drawn on your body? I’ve never been, but I can’t imagine they do. However, a holy text citation or symbol on your body that constantly reminds you how you want to make decisions every day is an absolutely incredible reason to get a tattoo. Recognize the difference. If you can’t spit the quote out when I ask you what the citation stands for, then just don’t get it.
A Dreamcatcher
You wouldn’t be caught dead with one of these hanging above your bed after the age of 12, so why would you permanently put it on your body? Okay, you’re a dreamer who believes that the sky is the limit or blah, blah, blah. Neato. Let’s think of a way to capture that on your epidermis in a different way than the thousands of people who did before you, because they think it’s representational of something they can’t really defend. Actually, inquiring about a female’s dreamcatcher tattoo is the number one proven way to get her to talk in circles.
An Infinity Symbol With A Word Written In Cursive
You’re gonna love for infinity. You’re gonna life for infinity. You’re gonna faith for infinity. You’re gonna insert cliché word here until you die. Is that morbid? That’s morbid. I had a math teacher once who had the infinity symbol tattooed on her wrist because she freaking loved math, and the infinity symbol is, well, a symbol of mathematical proportions. I’ll let her slide on this one. But something about the cursive writing of a basic word in an even more basic symbol makes the world give you a collective eye roll. I’m sure this tattoo has a deeper meaning for you, and in reality, that’s all that matters. However, it tells the world that this deeper meaning is not important enough to you for you to come up with a unique idea.
Note from the author: I have one of the above tattoos permanently inked on my body from around my 17th birthday when I got my first fake ID. Naturally, I tested it out at the tattoo parlor instead of the liquor store, because I was scared of going to jail. I’m so guilty and with you, typical girls of Pinterest. (Also, if you’re reading this Mom, I’m totally kidding.)
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Topanga
Topanga is a contributing writer for Post Grad Problems. Lover of red wine, mediocre gossip, and Corey's whipped ass.
@TopangaPGP
How about all of them need to go?
Ya but without the dream catcher tattoos how else are you going to know if a girl will do anal on the first date?
Bible quotes can also be a good indicator for a girl who’s down for butt-stuff because she’s “saving her virginity for marriage.”
Crew socks are a surefire indicator as well.
I’ve heard this joke before but no one has ever explained the correlation to me.
I’m not positive but I think it’s cause a lot of porn stars wear them in scenes. That’s my guess but who the fuck knows
5) The strange, slender tree tattoo on one shoulder that a bunch of Crossfit girls and/or vegan chicks and/or soccer moms in mid-life crises have that just screams “I’m not interesting, but I’m trying desperately to fake it.”
Engaged to a girl with the words inside an infinity symbol. Hers is a quote, and while basic, it still looks sexy as hell on her.
I bet mom sure is proud.
I work with a girl with the feather breaking off into the birds. She told me the exact same story.
I’m engaged to the feather + quote girl. Just throwing that out there…
Tattoos on girls look trashy, anyway you slice it. And no I’m not sorry for any slut or bf of a slut this offends.
Might want to get an x-ray to find that flagpole someone lost up your ass.
Yep, in a nutshell. They are for girls you don’t take home to mom. It’s really that simple. And yes I’m scarred by an ex girlfriend in my younger years that had not one but two tats and is literally the worst human being ever.
What postgrad lawyered said. Tattoos are for bar sluts and girls on Cops.
I hope I fall into the “girls on Cops” category
Said the girl who is a 2 at 10 and a 10 at 2.
Unfortunately, finding a girl without a tattoo now is like finding a unicorn.
That’s what it’s like here, just have to pick the least trashy one.
It might just be the girls you’re hanging around. I don’t have any tattoos and only two of my friends have one.
I’d like to propose.
I know a couple girls that each have all those tattoos. Just a barrel full of creativity there…