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When I’m enjoying myself – whether that be while I’m lying on the couch, standing around at a social function, or just walking about town shopping for candles – there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that ruins my mood faster than getting a text message.
When I don’t feel like texting, I really don’t feel like texting. It’s the worst. If you catch me at the wrong time of day there’s a good chance I’ll leave your ass on ‘read’ for a few hours without responding just for inconveniencing me. Sure, I’ll respond when it’s convenient, but if I’m already out somewhere doing something that I deem fun you probably aren’t going to illicit a response right away. The rules obviously get changed when it’s a girl that I want to have sex with or an immediate family member, but other than that, I would just as soon call someone rather than text for a half hour. I can get done in two or three minutes what would take an hour with text messaging.
The same thing applies for group text messages. I don’t know who it was at Apple that decided it would be okay to just be able to throw anyone you want into a new group chat without getting it approved first by the person you’ve added, but fuck them. I get thrown in group text messages quite frequently and I pretty much have all of them on “do not disturb.” You want to talk about annoying? Look no further than a group chat that you’ve been forced into. On the iPhone, it even shows if you’ve left the conversation. Rarely does someone leave the conversation, though because nobody wants to look like an asshole. So you stay in the group chat that you didn’t ask to be in and just pray that people stop responding so you can get on with your day. Yeah, you can put it on “do not disturb,” but you still get the notification that you have unread text messages and that’s just as annoying.
Work event coming up? You better believe some asshole who works on the floor above you is going to toss you into a new chat with 30 other people. Now your phone is rendered useless while text after text comes in with emojis and ten-year-old gifs.
Family event somewhere on the horizon in the next six to twelve months? One of your aunts or annoying cousins has most definitely started a group chat for that.
Basically what I’m trying to convey here is that texting sucks. Nobody wants to be the guy at the bar or party who has their nose in their phone texting someone. You get labeled anti-social and boring pulling a stunt like that. Which is why I’m here to tell you that I’ve almost exclusively switched to making plans via e-mail and you should consider doing the same.
For one thing, once an e-mail is sent to a friend on Friday night regarding drinking plans, the onus is totally on them. Yes, you could argue that this is similar to you just sending a text message, but only slightly.
E-mail takes a little longer to send than a text. Plus they don’t usually get the e-mail right away. Maybe the person you sent that e-mail to is in a dead zone or their settings for their gmail app are set so it doesn’t automatically refresh.
If you’re anything like me, this is all music to your ears. Why? Because nobody really wants to go out that badly. Yeah, we all initiate phone calls or text messages from time to time trying to plan a meet up at a bar or a park. But there’s nothing better than canceling plans, and when you use e-mail instead of texting the chances that you’ll actually have to go out and do something are slim to none. I mean, look at how much fun Will and I have on an almost weekly basis.
Much like crushing Michelob Ultras, e-mailing is now the wave. Texting is so 2016. Welcome to the future, baby. Texting is for dinosaurs. It’s all about sending people e-mails to make plans now. Is it incredibly annoying to be sending e-mails to people when much simpler, evolved ways of communicating are readily available? Yes, absolutely. But give it a try this weekend in lieu of texting. I promise that your friends will get a kick out of it. Plus, asking a random girl at the bar for her e-mail address instead of her number? Talk about mind games and endless opportunities for playful banter. .
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Unhinged
‘Unhinged Duda’ comes up with another wacky idea just like goofy Elizabeth ‘Pocahontas’ Warren comes up with looney ideas to attack my excellent pick for Supreme Court, Justice Gorsuh. Incredible man, Promise KEPT for the American People! – She is a very nasty woman. And now Duda is being very nasty with his communication and like to play GAMES. Sad!
The amount of Duda takes we’ve been getting recently is making me uncomfortable. Not sure if in a good way or bad way yet
When he was gone, we all begged for him to come back.
Now that he’s back, we just want him to shut up.
(and get a real mattress)
I just love reading Duda’s articles when I’m having a day because they make me feel better myself. They’re a great reminder that there’s people like THAT out there and in the grand scheme of things, my shit ain’t so bad.
Wow I really botched the grammar up here.
You’re trying too hard to be different. Email me if you want to plan something months from now, otherwise text me like the grown ass person you are. Saying a text message ruins your vibe is just pathetic. Lastly, stop drinking Mich Ultra… you’re making the rest of us look bad.
I only answer to party invites that are sent via carrier pigeon or wandering minstrel.
Carrier pigeon is going to be the wave before you know it since we are reverting back to old modes of communication here.
Duda, I’ll be honest with you. I was having an alright Tuesday until another one of your dog shit self entitled articles popped up. But, for some reason I do that thing where I read your stuff just to get myself pissed off, so you have that going for you and I can’t deny you that.
If you send me an e-mail I will ignore it every single time. Text or call me like a normal person. I’m all about calling friends via office phone to make plans with friends or to have my weekly chat with my Dad.
The phone call is making a serious comeback. Great way to differentiate yourself in a competitive dating scene as well.
I support the comeback of phone calls purely because they’re so efficient. Not only that, if a guy called me instead of texting me I’d probably answer because they are definitely differentiating themselves from the pack.
Sup?
The older I get the more I appreciate phone calls over texts. No shame about my “15 minute break” phone call time.
Duda I hope your Gmail likes Russian bride spam because that’s what it’s getting
I just skimmed this. But it confirms that I hate everything you choose to be.
God shut up Duda
You just know Duda eats these comments up