There are a few things in life that are inevitable: Death. Taxes. Jimmy Fallon playing a cutesy game with a celebrity. These are all immutable facts of life that can’t be avoided — all you can do is sit, wait, and watch the carnage unfold.
That’s why it should be no great shock that after the smash success that was the Doritos Locos Taco, fast food giant Taco Bell would try to infuse another popular Frito-Lay snack into one of their most popular items: Introducing the ‘Cheetos Burrito.’
The ‘Cheetos Burrito’ is stuffed with beef, rice, nacho cheese and the pièce de résistance: Cheetos themselves. Rolled up into a delicious tortilla cocoon and emerging into a chrysalis of deliciousness in your stomach. The product will start testing in August in Cincinnati locations for the low, low price of $1.
This comes hot on the heels of Taco Bell testing something called a ‘Cheetos Crunchwrap Slider’ in Canada, which, in this reporter’s opinion, is simply fucked up of Taco Bell to deny Americans such unholy deliciousness.
A casual consumer will think this is a novel concept, but any eagle-eyed fast food connoisseur will say, “Wait a minute – Have I seen this before?” And if you’re asking yourself that, you’d be right, because you have:
Two years ago, I wrote about Taco John’s introducing a Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Burrito. I’m no lawyer, but I’d think there’s some kind of case to be made for blatantly copying what another chain did — granted, I’m sure this is all covered in whatever licensing agreement both chains signed with Frito-Lay.
Also, I flipped around the Taco John’s menu online and I can’t find the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Burrito anywhere on it. Frito-Lay clearly traded up to a more desirable partner. Power move.
If reviews of the old Cheetos Burrito are to be believed, the Cheetos will invariably just become soggy, goopy messes inside the burrito, as if you left a bag of them open in your living room for a week.
However, I’ve got high hopes for Taco Bell’s handling of the Cheeto. They caught lightning in a bottle with the Doritos Locos Taco and changed the fast food world forever. Let’s see if they can’t do it again.
Let’s hope this goes better than Burger King’s Mac and Cheetos, which I’ve personally consumed and found to be one of the single worst fast food items I’ve ever consumed, even after living through the McDonald’s ‘Big and Tasty’ era. A burger without cheese? Go fuck yourselves. .
[via NBC News]