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The Sunday Scaries is the anxiety and feeling of dread that sets in on Sunday nights with the impending return to the office, school, or work. Read Part I, Part II, and Part III.
The biggest issue with trying to cure the Sunday Scaries is that all the experts out there are total squares. I’d venture to guess that the most well-informed Sunday Scaries connoisseur is, well, me. All these other nerds write about making lists about everything you love about yourself and spending your Saturday nights crafting.
A perfect example of this is Lifehacker’s How to Beat the Sunday Night Blues and Get More out of Your Weekend. While yes, these are somewhat valid strategies, they aren’t all that viable because most people living the Scaries lifestyle aren’t just going to lie down and change their ways because some website told them to.
Their five tips just don’t completely make sense to me.
Schedule Something Fun
Happy hours, tailgates, rounds of golf, brunches, beer gardens, pontoon boats, bottomless margaritas, pool parties, river floats, reverse happy hours, you name it. Those all sound fun to me, and they also all sound like a recipe for my Sunday Blues to be through the roof.
If I wanted schedule some events that would combat my weekend ending anxiety, I’d visit a puppy farm, schedule a round of golf with Paige Renee, or have a Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy marathon.
Required Reading: The Ten Commandments Of Sunday Drinking
Get Your Work Together On Friday
Fridays are for two things, neither of which are “getting your work together.” Fridays are for amping yourself up for the weekend and for chillin’ the most because your boss is probably out of the office doing what you’re only dreaming of doing once you reach his pay grade.
Required Reading: A Hungover Timeline Of Friday At The Office
Do Chores On Saturday
Yeah, I’d love to toss some laundry in while deep cleaning my bathroom before heading to the carwash to get my car detailed.
Oh, wait, no. I’ll be fielding texts and accepting every offer on the table to go out so I can feel out which offer is the best and Irish exit all the plans that don’t meet my fun quota. This isn’t Shawshank, guys. This is your life. Chores are for Sunday afternoons where you half-heartedly complete a couple nagging tasks to make yourself feel better.
And to make sure you have clean clothes for when you attempt to sleep that night only to find yourself rolling around in a cold sweat while nightmare-ing about work Monday.
Required Reading: The Panic Room
Don’t Schedule Monday Meetings
You know who schedules Monday meetings? Go-getters and try-hards. You know what I am? The person sitting behind their computer praying there won’t be a Monday meeting, so this is perfect for me. If it’s Monday and my hands aren’t shaking and I can put words together, I probably had a funeral that weekend or all my friends left town without me.
Consider Any Deeper Issues
Whoa, get off me, bro. I’m already rocking the Scaries so telling me I need to do some introspective shit is only going to amplify them. I use my weekends to go out with my friends and distract myself from my real life issues, not have personal pow-wows with myself in an attempt to find my zen. Get outta my face.
And if you’re currently rocking out some intense Sunday Blues, take a trip to Pig Island. .
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