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We get it. You’ve slaved away at your dead end job for the last 51 weeks straight and you are PUMPED for some low-key vacay time. As we all are. There’s nothing better than sipping an over priced airport bloody at 10:00 a.m. on a Wednesday while everyone else you know is cursing their own existence in the cubicle they share with three other people. I’d take a two hour layover in a shitty town like, I don’t know, say, Houston, knowing I’ll be day drunk on the beach in a few short hours over preparing a Power Point ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. Trust.
But you know who isn’t as excited about my vacation as me? Literally everyone else. And I know that for a fact, because when I see ‘friends’ check in ‘at DFW International Airport – traveling to Panama City – vacation here I come!’ I automatically unfollow you. Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit where you’re going. Why not? Because you’re not going with me. If I’m not there, I’m not interested. Call me self-absorbed, but I don’t care about your camel riding adventures in Morocco or the lame (read: cool as fuck) elephant ride you’re going on in Thailand.
Remember the childhood lyric you recited when Sara whispered some juicy secret into Megan’s ear and not yours? Secrets don’t make friends? Welcome to adulthood where that completely goes out the window. Secrets DO make friends when it means keeping your travel plans to yourself. There’s literally no reason to post your airport location unless you’re purposefully heading to no friend zone: population you. Just post cool pics when you get to wherever you’re going. Pics or GTFO anyway.
But, let me be very clear about something. When I go to fly as hell places without you? You better believe I expect 50+ likes. My travels are more important than yours, number one. Number two, I’m a hypocritical postgrad just like the rest of you. Do as I say, not as I do, or some bullshit like that.
Also, I’m literally writing this from Gate C44 at Houston Intercontinental. Orlando here I come! All my friends are about to be reeeaaalll jealous of my drunken adventures with Mickey and friends at Epcot and Magic Kingdom. Ha..
Image via Shutterstock
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Seems an awful lot like a Kendra article.
Nevar forget, nevar forgive
PKSD. It’s real folks. If you or someone you know is showing signs of Post Kendra Stress Disorder, ask your doctor or medical professional if Will deFries is right for you.
Do I take Will deFries at brunch?
Must be taken with a beer
Shots fired
Magic kingdom doesn’t serve alcohol. Something about family and kids and blah blah
However, it IS just a monorail trip away from drinking around the world at Epcot. Most trustworthy way to smuggle in alcohol is via your stomach, right?
I was told it was somewhere else 🙁
At least check in at your arrival airport because ya know…there’s no guarantees in life and stuff.
Dark
¯_(ツ)_/¯
Snapchat story of you drinking around the world at Epcot or GTFO
There is such thing as Disney jail, speaking from a friend’s experience of course.
This seems more like a message board rant than a PGP column.
What’s the point of somewhere if you can’t get likes on your check-ins/pictures?
Going somewhere*
Sorry not sorry your vacations end up being staycations. Save up and go somewhere and stop feeling cheated because you can’t afford it.
Hey, just give Houston a chance.
Unless you’re flying Southwest. Then you sort of have to check in.