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A few days ago while browsing my Facebook feed, I noticed a picture one of my Facebook friends had shared. This picture read something in the form of “Starbucks is refusing to give coffee to the troops because it doesn’t support the war, we should boycott Starbucks, blah blah blah.” I see malarkey like this on Facebook every single day which just sounds idiotic and implausible, so normally, I just ignore them. But, since I was procrastinating calling a client who was currently less than happy with me, I decided to delve deeper.
If you read that and said, “Wow, Crash, it seems a little unrealistic that a company as revered as Starbucks would publicly shun the troops, essentially committing brand suicide,” you’re right. It was completely unrealistic. A laborious three-second Google search led me to the discovery that this rumor was false and had been addressed by Starbucks in 2005. Yes, a fucking decade ago. Problem is, this picture had been shared over 260,000 times by people either too lazy to use Google (or too stupid).
Blind social media sharing is plaguing this country like feline AIDS at an animal shelter. We the people are getting far too damn comfortable spreading whatever sounds good as opposed to whatever is right. At this rate, by 2020 our dumbasses are going to put The Onion out of business because of how rampant erroneous trash can get passed around. You may not be as worried as I am, but if this keeps up, future generations will be full of people who’ll believe anything. So if you won’t do it for you, do it for your grandson because if the tide isn’t turned, you’ll have to hear him tell you “that stripper really liked me grandpa.”
Every day it seems like more things that can be easily debunked as bullshit go viral which makes us as human beings look like complete dumbasses. Information and facts are more readily at your fingertips in the year 2015 than they have ever been, yet we still manage to fall into a propaganda campaign over a simple, overpriced, and basic white girl producing coffee chain.
People, before you blindly hit the share button (except with this post, share the fuck out of it without thinking whatsoever), take a breath and say “Am I 100 percent sure this is true?” You’re staking your name to something and endorsing it with your mouse click. It only takes a few crazy incorrect posts to be branded as that extremist conspiracy guy on Facebook, or even worse, leading more people to believe the baseless bullshit you’re throwing around like a laxative-eating monkey. It’s easy to get carried away, running full force with an online lynch mob, but shit, take a breather before you grab your virtual pitchfork and give it some thought and research first.
We all saw the meme about the veteran amputee runner coming in second to Caitlyn Jenner for the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, which pissed a ton of people off and started a huge viral push to let that injustice be known. I don’t care how you feel about Caitlyn Jenner, but hundreds of thousands of people ended up sharing something that really wasn’t true because there was no announced runner up, simply because they believed it without checking on it. Bear with me here, but wouldn’t it be slightly foolish for the worldwide leader to announce a runner up? You don’t think the ESPN PR department would’ve anticipated that kind of backlash against their already controversial choice? OH, C’MON!
You people who share political memes without thinking twice are the worst of the worst. There’s plenty of political strife and discourse in this country without blatant false posts scattered everywhere. I’ve seen shared photos of George Bush and Hillary Clinton both shaking hands with the same doctored photo of Bin Laden, followed with some tagline about why you can’t trust this person. Get a grip, you bastards. You’re talking about two people who have been under the highest level of surveillance possible over the last 20 years. Ask Edward Snowden. If the NSA can find your dick pics, I’m sure it’s not hard to find proof on whether or not George was slapping skin with Osama.
There’s just too much information available for us to devolve into sharing fake info all over the place. You want something shitty to share about GWB or Hillary? Holy shit, just Google it. I’m sure there’s plenty that’s actually happened to start an internet mob. Same goes for Starbucks and other big corporations. You want to make ESPN look bad? There’s over thirty years of scandal in that place, or just make a post reminding everyone that First Take somehow still airs every day. The point I’m trying to make is that sharing baseless gossip is for teenagers or Brad in the cubicle down the hall. Be an adult, educate yourself, and don’t be that blind post-sharing idiot. But definitely go share this post. .
Image via Shutterstock
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Kyle Bandujo
The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.
@kylebandujo
@bandujokyle
kyle.bandit
My favorite is when people share the articles from feednewz or the Onion and don’t know what satire is.
Or the Chinese or North Korean media re-runs it as real American news.
While we’re at it I’d like less of the Twitter “joke accounts,” usually of actors or comedians, that just churn out the same unoriginal lines. Most of the people I follow that might RT these have moved on from Twitter but every now and then a post from “NotCelebYouDontCareAbout” pops up that says “Oatmeal raisin cookies are the reason I have trust issues.” No.
But seriously…. Oatmeal raisin cookies are partially why I have trust issues.
My grandma was pretty distraught a few weeks ago when she saw (from a bunch of shared Facebook posts) that Rue McClanahan died.
She got over it pretty quick though when she remembered that she already mourned the loss back in 2010.
I’m still mourning the old facebook that required a legit post high school education.
Yesterday I saw that Willie Nelson died. After less than one minute, I saw that this has been going around for years. Great article Crash
But…but…but GMOs, gluten, and vaccines are bad because some celebrity said so. Science be damned.
I’m Brad from down the hall. Why are you starting stories about me?
I’m still not sure which is worse – this, or comments sections, as the latter is full of people who don’t read the article.
And if you think that’s bad, try being a scientist and having your phone blow up every time some crazy “we’re all going to die because of science!” article picks up steam.
My boyfriend legitimately thinks Old Faithful is going to explode and kill everyone.
It’s only a matter of time…
One advantage of the three second Google verification is that it not only give you a chance to debunk falsehoods, but to see if something is true. Try Googling “Yellowstone Caldera,” and you’ll discover that your boyfriend is actually correct.
BUT HUGGIES CONTAIN GLASS! I must share with everyone I know.
I would blindly share this article on Facebook.
Although your article is great, your analogy about “feline AIDS at an animal shelter” is faulty. FIV (feline “AIDS”), like HIV, is not easily spread. One would have to assume that the behavior of this virus is more like the common cold than like HIV, in order for the analogy to make any sense.