Some Questions About This Wedding I’m Going To

Some Questions About This Wedding I’m Going To

I’ve been to weddings before. I’ve been to them sober, I’ve been to them blacked out, I’ve been to them in the fall and in the summer. I’ve been to weddings that were fun and I’ve been to weddings that sucked. I’ve been to them where… well, that’s really it. Truth be told, I’ve only been to roughly five weddings before, but each time I’ve gone I’ve had a better time than the last.

The thing is, I’ve never been the one to get invited to the wedding. I’m either present as an extension of my parents, or I’m someone’s date. Well this weekend, for the first time ever, I’ll be attending a wedding that I personally was invited to. I know, right? I, the guy with the spider-infested apartment and knack for self-destruction, swung an invite to a wedding. Talk about a come up.

Well, here’s the thing. I realized as I ordered my wedding gift last weekend that I actually know nothing about weddings. Now that I think about it, this is the first of our friends to get married and so none of us really know what we’re doing. There are some things that you can act like you’ve been there before and get away with it, but I don’t think weddings are on that list. And so in true Charlie fashion, I’m going to do what I do best as I sit at the airport three hours early for my flight: ask for advice from strangers on the internet.

How drunk should I get?

I get the impression that this is something I should feel out. It’s a Sunday wedding, sure, but my flight to San Francisco doesn’t leave until 2:00 p.m. the next day. The first wedding with friends is uncharted territory. Honestly, I think this is the first time my buddies are going to see me dressed up in ages. Do you keep it classy and stick to two to three drinks? Or do we say fuck it and get wild?

Should I have double checked that the bride and groom got my RSVP?

There was a little bit of confusion surrounding when I got the invite. I had just moved apartments and so my mailing address was different, and the invitation ended up getting returned to the sender. Not off to a killer start. So, when I finally got the invitation, I texted the bride and told her how excited I was for the wedding. She texted me back, we laughed, it was a pleasant exchange. That being said, I filled out the RSVP card and dropped it in a public mailbox on the way to work one day and never heard anything back about it. I assume that since there was no outreach from either party, they must have received it… right?

Do I need to bring anything to the actual wedding?

I bought the gift online and had it sent to the mailing address on the registry, so I think we’re okay there. But other than that, what do I bring? A “Congrats On Your Wedding” card? What do you even put on those things? “Nice work, you two are doing amazing stuff! Last week I ate hot dogs for three separate meals,” doesn’t exactly have the best touch to it.

What do you do in your down time?

The wedding is in a smaller town in southeast Washington state. Since it’s on Sunday and I took Friday off, I’ll have Friday afternoon/evening, all of Saturday, and Sunday morning to kill. What do people normally do with this time? Should I have brought golf clubs? Is it seen as unacceptable to post up at a bar and drink the day away, or is that an expectation at this point? Would it be the worst thing to pay a little extra for wifi in my hotel room so that I could get some work done? Or do we all end up just playing this by ear?

Is it cool if I don’t wear a tie?

I know we’ve had debates on this site about wedding attire before, but this is a legitimate question. Look, the wedding is outdoors and the forecast for that day predicts a high of 102 degrees. I’ve gotten away with not wearing a tie to more notable events before (i.e. Easter, Christmas, important meetings with my boss’ boss), so would this be okay as well? Or are weddings an event where I need to be conscious of how I’m dressing?

After a quick Google search, it looks like there is a Target in this town. Worst case scenario, I can spend Saturday looking for all the things I forgot and roll up on Sunday looking like I haven’t broken a sweat (metaphorically, of course. 102 degrees? I’ll be drenched).

Let’s have some fun.

Image via YouTube

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Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at or whatever.

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