======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
I sat in my living room the other night and watched as the Cleveland Cavaliers rout the Boston Celtics to head back to the NBA Finals for the third straight year. The Cavs have been a joy to watch this post-season, and Lebron James seems to be dead set on becoming the greatest player to have ever stepped foot on a court.
Now that is all well and good, but there’s been an elephant in the room for the past couple years that I think needs to be addressed: Lebron James is losing his hair.
It started at first as a pretty unnoticeable thing. Lebron used to wear a headband during games, and to hide the fact that he was balding he would wear incredibly thick bands pushed up in such a way that the hairline would be hidden from view. He never addressed the hair issue publicly, opting instead to just get plugs and hope that no one would notice.
If this was twenty, thirty years ago it wouldn’t have mattered. I feel like in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s nobody seemed to care if a man went bald. Further back than the 80s, I think baldness might have actually been sexy to some women. They addressed baldness a little bit in Seinfeld, but for the most part, it felt like it was accepted as something that just happens.
I’m thinking back on movies and television shows of yore – Annie Hall, Pulp Fiction, The Truman Show, Natural Born Killers, The Sopranos, Frasier – the list goes on and on with actors in leading roles who had chrome domes. It just didn’t matter like it does now. Bruce Willis, Sam Jackson, Vin Diesel, Woody Allen, Jason Statham, etcetera and so on.
Baldness used to be something that was perfectly fine by societal standards. Baldness is obviously still accepted, but there’s more pressure than ever before to have a full head of hair.
Nowadays if you’re in the limelight and you don’t have hair you’re essentially a leper. You’re subjected to rude tweets and if you’re a person like Lebron James, getting made into a disparaging meme.
The guy can put up 40 and 15 and still get roasted in the post-game press conference because he doesn’t have any hair on top of his head. Tiger Woods is losing his hair. Tom Brady was losing his hair until he got plugs. It’s just sad to see that America is no longer accepting of men who are on their way to bald-dom. Give these poor guys a break. You think the stress of getting made fun of on Twitter every night is helping with the baldness that keeps advancing with no regard for human life?
Lebron James is probably going to be a billionaire when his career is all said and done, but I’d throw down a bet that says his lack of hair has kept him up tossing and turning at night.
In the deepest, darkest crevices of the mind – in places we don’t like to talk about – there’s a little birdy whispering in our ear. “Your time is limited. Enjoy that hair while you’ve still got it.” You can look at pictures of your grandfather at 70 and tell yourself that if he had a head of hair at that age, there’s a good chance that you’ll also have it.
The theory, of course, is that baldness skips every other generation. And that may be true. It could also be false, though. I don’t want to alarm you, I’m just telling you that sometimes genetics cannot accurately predict what will happen to us.
I’ve got what is referred to in the postgrad community as “power alleys” on either side of my head. I recognized that this was happening a few years ago and started taking preventative measures to keep my hairline from receding.
I use Bosley every day in the shower and rarely wear hats anymore. I don’t put stress on my hair by wearing headbands when it’s super long and I try not to put too much unneeded pressure on myself because I know that anxiety can factor into balding.
We see think pieces and documentaries about how women are judged constantly for what they wear, and how they wear it. What they look like when they go out in public and whether or not they are setting bad examples for little girls.
You know what doesn’t get any press in the lamestream media? Male pattern baldness. This affects way more people than you think, and there is so much pressure on men to keep their hair that it’s actually doing us a disservice. Pressure from the opposite sex to have immaculate looking hair is just making hairlines recede faster. Lay off, ladies.
We’ve got enough shit to worry about without you mentioning that our hairlines are retreating faster than Hitler’s army in Russia.
My biggest fear in life is not dying or being single forever. It’s going bald. Hair plugs are absolutely out of my price range at the moment (not that I need them right now) but I think going bald is probably going to happen to me at some point.
I’m ready for it if that’s what nature intends to happen. If that time comes when I no longer am able to keep the hair on top of my head I’ll welcome it with open arms. For now, though I’m living it up with clear eyes, a full heart, and a luscious mane of hair. And that’s all I really can do. Only God knows if I’ll still have these locks when I’m 60. We’re all on our way out. Act accordingly..
Image via Youtube
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
My 92 year old grandfather still has a flowing, silvery head suit. I’m 27 with power alleys and a widow’s peak that make Peyton Manning’s hair situation look workable. PGP
Combovers are for closers
Team combover
Was balding. Shaved it all off a few weeks ago and haven’t looked back.
My friends and I talked about this this weekend. The consensus seemed to be that you have to be tall and jacked to make that work. Thoughts?
Over 6 ft, fairly muscular, light stubble on the face, rock a light tan as well and it looks great. Honestly just too many factors for the average dude to pull off.
I’m 6′ and like, not fat I guess. I would say if you have a normal shaped head you’re ok
My plan if I start balding is to just shave that shit, grow a beard, get a couple tat’s, buy a Harley and spend the rest of my life picking up lonely MILF’s in Panama City.
I’m 26 and will definitely sunburn the top of my head this summer – this hits home
Username does not check out.
Everyone, just do the future generation a huge favor and opt out of reproducing. It will solve the genetic hair loss problem altogether as well as numerous other problems. Then you can go enjoy a life of travel and maybe possibly even retire if the world doesn’t kill itself before we reach 65! Yay
Having a full, luscious head of hair is a PGPM. People know that about me, and Dillon, but mostly me.
Is your hair turning grey too like Dillion is?
Dillon is receding
He can throw the fuck out of a football though.
My full head of hair is pretty much all I have going for me, so I’ll keep making fun of people for going bald to make myself feel better.
Being bald isn’t a terrible look, as long as you’re not fat too.
It definitely is motivation to stay in shape
I shave my head and am a little under average height. The way I see it, as long as I don’t have the George Coatanza trifecta going (short, bald, and fat) I’m ok.
Michael Chiklis rocked the fat ‘n’ bald look
My plan is to have a toupee already ready to go by age 30. First sign of hair loss after that, I’m slapping that bad boy on and never looking back. I have too many things going against me to add thin/no hair to the list