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Let me get straight to the point: 2Ls are the worst thing about law school. Even worse than 1Ls. Hear me out.
Entering law school brings with it a significant amount of literature regarding how to survive, what to do, what to expect, and how to ace your oh-so important exams. There are even quirky, and (for some unexplainable reason) timeless sayings. Most notable is “First year, they scare you to death; second year they work you to death; and third year, they bore you to death.”
The people that continue to say that aren’t wrong. What they failed to warn you about while they were spouting hot air is that sitting through a class with 2Ls will make you want to violate your professor’s attendance policy and risk a lower grade. As a former 2L, I know all about this. There is something about the confidence that accompanies finishing 1L relatively unscathed, especially if you have a coveted job offer. I get that, and I definitely chimed in more when I was that position. This, however, is subject to abuse. Unfortunately, most abusers were also heavy talkers during 1L who are now unnecessarily bolstered by the aforementioned reasons.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. This cynical, angry-about-life and the looming bar exam 3L and needs to shut up and appreciate the talkative 2Ls that take the heat off 3Ls in class. First, life is pretty good knowing you only have mere months between you, readings, and 2Ls. Second, while the bar exam and the requisite preparation will suck ass, at least I will study within the confines of my apartment-a 2L-free zone.
The following are just a few examples of Shit 2Ls Say™. This list is obviously not exhaustive, and fellow law students and alums might’ve heard a few of these examples before. If you hear a student say something similar to any of these, run out of class as soon as it’s over and avoid him or her at all costs. Do not feel pressured to engage in conversation; it will just make you regret attending law school. If you are a 2L reading this, don’t be offended. Just take the appropriate measures to ensure you do not say things like this. You’ll thank me later!
Without further ado:
– Starting any sentence with, “Insofar…”
– Following up every class contribution with “well, hypothetically…,” in a voice that slowly raises higher in pitch as this person knows they’re word-vomiting complete bullshit, but they refuse to stop talking.
– Raising their hand to volunteer crucial information, only to retreat when actually called upon and opening with, “Well, I really only know the ULTRA BASIC facts about this case…”
(WHO SAYS ULTRA BASIC?!??!)
– “Well, you already answered my question, but I just want to comment on something.”
-Finding a way to slide this little number into any discussion or when called on in class: “Well, at my internship this past summer I worked on a really interesting project…”
Here are some tips for survival:
(1) Take a sedative before every class.
(2) Complain to your professor.
(3) Avoid classes that 2Ls feel they must take before they graduate, like Federal Courts, Corporations, or Evidence. (Lol we both know you will take at least two of these classes).
(4) Raise your hand and talk instead! (fun fact: this will require you to read before class).
Res ipsa..
Respond
This is very true. I was definitely an obnoxious 2L. But now I’m a 3L. Yesterday, I got cold called and had to inform the professor that I didn’t know the answer because I didn’t read. In fact, I don’t even own the book. I was also too lazy to Quimbee it. What a difference a year makes.
Professors who cold-call in 2L-3L classes can F%&# right off.
I hate when the 2Ls would complain to me about HOW MUCH WORK they had to do between classes, law review, internships, etc. like they were gonna get my sympathy. They failed to understand I literally did that one year prior to them so no I don’t feel bad for you. Stop going on and on and on about all that you need to complete. It’s the very last thing I want to hear about
The most infuriating 2Ls were the ones who you could tell were just checking the box of being on journal, repeatedly turned in work late with lame excuses, and made my life way harder than it needed to be. Another reason why being on a journal executive board was the worst.
You made your own life harder than it needed to be when you decided to be on the executive board of an already checked box. You should only have been infuriated with your own decisions.
Law Review or gtfo
One guy in a 1L class tried to argue that a park that prohibited vehicles should also prohibit signs because “signs are a vehicle for delivering information.” Glad to know everyone only becomes more insufferable next year.
You forgot to mention when they start a sentence with, “At MY firm…” when they have not actually done any work for the firm yet and have only actually been to the firm’s office once
Not trying to be a spam guy, but some PGPers who I’m close friends with made this podcast about law school. Its called “Middle of the Curve”. It’s pretty funny. Check it out on itunes
Just don’t be that guy/gal who incessantly bitches during bar prep while chronicling each day of review on social media when that time comes. Also good luck, use Kaplan and follow your bar Sherpa Chris Fromm to passing.
I got a sick sense of pleasure when the 2 people who posted the most on social media about bar prep failed the bar. I’m going to hell.
Chris Fromm was my boy. Still can’t get the way he said “Pitcher” instead of “picture” and “Penn-Sah-vania” instead “Pennsylvania” out of my head. Passed on the first try and didn’t go broke paying for Barbri.
LOOK AT ME
Concept
First-year associates are right up there with 2Ls as the most egotistical, annoying people on the planet.
We got one baby associate this fall and he is THE WORST so I’ll second that comment. He complains all the time about the work he’s given and then says his billables are low. He sighs when given a new assignment and says no to work from other offices. Homeboi is not going to last.
Ugh. I shit you not 75%+ of the comments made in some of my 2L classes are made by the same 4 people in my class of over 100.
My least favorite are the questions people ask only so they can attempt to tell the professor they’re wrong.
Yes, 2L, you clearly know more about this area of the law that you’ve studied for 5 weeks than a professor who’s practiced in this area for 5 decades. Enlighten us with your wisdom. *rolling eyes emoji*
This sounds eerily similar to med school