======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Every relationship has milestones. Moments when the seriousness goes up a level. Events that signify a deepening of the commitment. Things like becoming exclusive, moving in together, getting married, and promise rings, I guess? But that’s all for show. That’s not what really matters. These are the true indicators of how serious a relationship is.
Deleting your dating apps.
This is the first step in the shift from “seeing each other” to being in a full-blown relationship. While this isn’t saying you’re a couple, or even exclusive, it is saying that you’re not actively trying to bang every other person that moves. This may be something that is talked about and done together, but more often than not, it’s a personal choice.
By deleting your dating apps, you’re saying, “I’m going to see where this thing goes.” Would you still hook up with someone you meet in a bar? Maybe. Would you say no to a date if the opportunity presented itself? You don’t know. All you know is that you’ve found someone that you like more than mindlessly judging people while taking a shit. It sounds small, but it feels big.
Sharing phone passwords.
You, sir or madam, are in an exclusive relationship. Or you get off on the thrill of danger, I suppose. Again, this milestone may have come casually, or even accidentally. You told you boyfriend your passcode so he could use your phone to change the Spotify song. You revealed your password so your girlfriend could open up Google Maps and figure out just how lost you guys were. Then, in act of apathy/trust, you never changed it.
This usually means you have nothing to hide, and are therefore in a relationship. You don’t go sharing passwords if you’ve got side pieces hitting you up or a bunch of nudes saved in your camera roll. Of course, there is still the understanding that snooping through your phone is a huge invasion of privacy, but the fact that you’re not worried about anything on your most sacred of devices says a lot about the seriousness of your relationship.
Being added into the friend group chat.
You are considered to be in “a serious relationship.” I’m not saying there’s wedding bells, or even moving-in-together-bells in your near future, but you’re not a newly fledged couple. You’ve met their friends, they’ve approved of you, and you’ve hung out to the point where you’d consider them, if not your friends, then your “almost friends.”
Obviously, their friend group has its own group chat without you, but there is also a group chat that involves you. It may have started just to share information for Friendsgiving, or to coordinate a bar crawl, but through the sharing of memes and jokes, it’s become official. You have been accepted as part of the crew.
Being invited on a family vacation.
Oh, shit. Do I hear wedding bells? Haha, just playing, just playing. But seriously. The person you’re dating hears wedding bells. If you’re rolling with their family on vacation, they see you as part of the family. That’s some serious shit. You two have been dating long enough to have met and gotten to know their family. They like you, they accept you as a pre-son/daughter-in-law, and now you get to join them for a week in the Bahamas. Live it up, because this relationship is getting very serious, very fast.
Being listed as an emergency contact.
Dog, they trust the hell out of you. You’re the person that gets called if there’s an emergency. Sure, it sounds innocent enough. They probably texted you one day and said “Btw, just put you down as my emergency contact for work. No pressure but my life is in your hands. Lol.” Don’t let that “lol” fool you. This is some real shit. Will you ever get called? Hopefully not. Did they put you down because their parents live 600 miles away and wouldn’t realistically be able to help? Definitely. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t serious.
If your significant other tells you they’re putting you down as their emergency contact and you have zero intentions of marrying them, it’s time to break up. This is them subtly telling you they think you’re the real thing, and if that’s not what you’re feeling, you’ve got to come clean. If you’re not willing to get thrown out of a hospital for causing a scene because you’re worried about them, then you’re not ready to be their emergency contact.
Pooping with the door open.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! This milestone is both a gift and a curse. On one hand, you have someone that you’re so in love with and supportive of that you’re ok with pooping in front of each other. On the other hand, the magic is officially gone from your relationship. The day your partner only half-closes the bathroom door before dropping a deuce is the day the honeymoon portion of your relationship has officially ended. You’ve traded in butterflies, excitement, and raw sexual magnetism for commitment and unconditional support. Congrats, I think? .
Respond
Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
@noampao
noamio
I could be married for decades and I still wouldn’t hit the last milestone.
That’s a comment for the fellas because girls don’t poop, everyone knows that.
Such a double standard. I poop in the bathroom when my wife is in there getting ready. But if she were to ever try that on me, I’d pack my bags.
My boyfriend ALWAYS poops with the door open. I refuse to do the same around him. I’ve urinated in front him him a few times, but only when drunk.
Other than that we hit all these milestones within the first 2 months
No one deserves to be pooped in front of. Go get you a gentleman that closes the door when he pinches a loaf.
1. Do people really share phone passwords? I don’t want anyone to have mine and I’m not interested in anyone else’s for any reason.
2. At the rate you’re writing these types of relationship articles I have zero doubt you propose before Will.
I share mine with my fiancee since she uses my phone for music and maps when I’m driving. I have fingerprints registered on her devices because I borrow her iPhone Plus to do mobile app testing and I just plain like using her iPad since I don’t have my own. I really only have a password so I don’t butt dial people.
The only time I’ll ever hit the last milestone is when I’m 88 and old and senile. Until then, I will forever continue pooping with the door closed. No disturbs my privacy during my time on the throne.
Not sure if I should be honored or offended by the call out here
Deleting your dating apps because haven’t got a match in over 3 weeks now and your self confidence is at an all time low. PGP
I dunno maybe try lying about some things that make you seem like a more interesting person?
I don’t even have a passcode on my phone.. Does that make me a psychopath?
thrill seeker
So brave.
Same. I hand people my phone and they automatically ask what’s the passcode, so I’m pretty sure we are.
Honestly what’s the worst they can do on there? Hack my twitter? I put enough bullshit on there to begin with
Married 10 years and have two kids, door closed and locked while I’m taking care of business.
I usually dash upstairs after dinner when the fam is watching some HGTV so I can have some privacy. I also enjoy the nobody is home, pre-getting dressed fully naked poop.
aka the pre shower cleanse
What is this couple thing you speak of?
This list is buuulllllll. You know girls don’t poop!