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As a society, America puts work priorities over literally everything else. So I guess it’s only natural that we’ve reached a point where the full-time nanny is in high demand. Kids fresh out of college in every nook and cranny of the country are forgoing traditional job offers to take care of someone else’s kids year-round, and I’m intrigued by it.
I see nannies in public parks, on the street, and in busy restaurants all day. I’m pretty sure they have a union. I don’t really like kids — they’re exhausting, expensive, and altogether obnoxious. But I’ve heard rumors that nannying pays like, really well. Nannying for the well-to-do is now something similar to a corporate gig in that you’re looking at full benefits, 60-80k per year, and paid vacations to tropical destinations.
The only kicker is that you have to spend time raising fucking children and dealing with all of the bullshit that goes along with that. You’re getting paid to clean up the messes that parents either don’t want to deal with or don’t have time to deal with.
I don’t know a lot about the profession. I have to assume that most parents who can afford a full-time nanny are helicopter parents. The kind of people who would require their nannies to speak to their kids in a different language so as to prepare them for Ivy League interviews when college rolls around. From movies and TV that depict this particular brand of parent, you’ve got to think there are crazy dietary restrictions involved as well.
I have a friend who nannies and she told me that one of the first things her employer told her was that the three children she’d be looking over legitimately believe that sparkling water is soda.
Imagine how sheltered those kids have to be to believe such an outlandish lie? And also imagine how brutal it would be to go through the first few years of your childhood never tasting a Coca-Cola Classic. The humanity.
Factoring in summer vacation, this job has the potential to be a real pain in the ass. But do you have to work weekends, too? I suppose it all depends on the parents. I’d like to think that parents would want to spend time with their children on the weekends because corporate life is preventing them from doing that during the weekday.
On a daily basis here, aren’t we talking about a job where you’re working four or five hours a day? Get the kids, take them to school, and then what? You’re just free to lounge around a rich family’s home alone for the rest of the day? Sign me the fuck up.
The real question on the table is this — is the juice worth the squeeze? From the outside looking in, it would seem like it absolutely is. Imagine me, in pleated khakis and a bone white women’s blouse — five dollar latte in one hand and two children on a leash on the other — just strutting my stuff about town. That’s a powerful image, and I think if employers can get past my affinity for booze and cigarettes I could be a prime candidate for a nanny position..
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
“Come with me, kid. We’re heading to the bars, gonna see if I can use your cuteness to get some strange”
“Layla, if you don’t come over to Sonny’s apartment tonight there’s a good chance I might develop a stutter. Puh-puh-puh-please don’t do this to me.”
That was some of my best work.
If you use that photo on your resume…yes
Stock photo girl here is beat
Both Duda and a traditional nanny would wear the same blouses… so theres that…
I nannied in college. I had to go to the parent teacher conferences because the parents worked so much and new nothing about their own kids. It was really fucking sad. Pay was great though.
No way a full time nanny gets full benefits, I’m gonna need a real life testimony before I buy that
Yea, I’m not sure how serious Duda is about those expectations but they need to be tuned way down. No way you’re getting benefits. It’s an easy job but the pay isn’t that great unless you get a super wealthy family, which all the other super nannies will be competing for. Then again, one of my friends got paid to basically spend her entire summer hanging out in their pool…
There’s nannying, and there’s nannying. I had a nanny. Paid her $15/hr before tax and she basically sat on the couch 35 of the 40 hours and watched her phone; the rest of the time was drop off/pick up of my older school age kid and changing the occasional diaper of the baby. She sucked. But $15/hr was the max we could(n’t) afford and the absolute bottom of the nanny market.
Ugh that’s awful. I nannied for almost a decade and loved it. By the time I stopped last year I was able to charge 20-30 an hour, depending on the family, but I also did one family’s pre school home school for them, and another family I was their house manager – meal planned and prepped, kept things running with all the kids’ activities and general home maintenance. I’ve nannied 24 kids and loved all of them – I’m so sorry that was your experience with a nanny!
Benefits include dicking the mother every time the husband flies to Atlanta for business.
Answer: No
The only benefit is you already own plenty of clothing meant for old ladies.
I was a nanny all through grad school for two different families. Both times for two kids below school age and I can tell you your experience depends A LOT on the vibe of the family. But no way in hell did I make 60k a year with benefits. That’s crazy.