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As we discussed on Tuesday’s Touching Base, Friendsgiving Season is upon us. Hosting an event like this can appear to be a daunting task (as illustrated here by Brian McGannon). I am here to help. Consider this a companion piece to Brian’s story and checklist of sorts designed to assist any party organizer.
The most important thing you can do to execute a successful Friendsgiving is to name an Executive Cuisine Curator for this event. This could be the host, but it doesn’t need to be. The ECC will be in charge of all culinary operations and also all food-related emails and correspondence in advance of the event. (Note: the host may send logistical emails and invites, but those must not include anything food related if host is not the ECC.)
Of course, we are assuming a potluck style event. At an absolute minimum, the ECC is in charge of the turkey and gravy. This includes carving, plating, arranging, and displaying the main protein. Ideally, the ECC will also take on another dish or two, depending on their culinary specialty.
The other major responsibility of the ECC is the assignment of side dishes, desserts, and booze. I suggest an introductory email and an editable google doc for assignment purposes.
Below is a sample email you should steal, tweak, and send to your party goers. If you are the ECC, email me at micah@grandex dot co and I’ll send you the google doc to share with your squad. I’ve also added some additional ECC tips after the email.
Greetings Friends,
You are receiving this email because our very gracious friend _____ has offered their home to host this year’s Friendsgiving celebration. I have volunteered to be the Executive Culinary Curator. Please read this email in full, and see the google doc at the end for signups.Here are a few simple rules, based off of severals years of experience.
If you don’t cook, or do not want to cook– that’s totally fine. Please bring booze (more on that later). The only thing I ask is that you do not buy anything pre-made from the grocery store. I know it seems like a nice gesture to bring some deli-counter macaroni salad, potato salad, or pre-made dressing/stuffing, but it just isn’t. Ideally, your party will have enough wonderful homemade things there that no one will touch the pre-made crap (don’t tell me, “But, ECC, it’s from Whole Foods and organic.” It tastes like shit, and no one cares.). Again, if you don’t cook or don’t want to, just bring booze. No one will judge you.
I will of course handle the turkey, gravy, and cranberry sauce, as is any decent chef’s responsibility.
Lessons learned from previous events:
We are limited with kitchen space/oven/fridge room.
There will be multiple versions of every popular T-Day staple (this is a good thing!).
There will be leftovers.
There will be lots of dessert left over.
More people will arrive than we anticipate.
It will be a challenge to arrange entry to the location and park everyone.
Shit will get crazy.The most important rule of this year’s event: Do not bring anything that is uncooked or MUST be heated. This home is lovely, but only has one oven (1st world problem). If you can bring your dressing straight out of the oven to the event, that’s great! If it sits on the counter and isn’t piping hot when we eat, that isn’t the end of the world. We will work smarter this year to keep things warm via coolers and other means, but do not bring a pie that must be baked, or sweet potatoes ready to roast for an hour when you arrive for the party.
GET CREATIVE! If you don’t use pinterest, you should at least know how to use google. Make a spicy and sweet yam dish, bring Asian-inspired Brussels sprouts, maybe a deconstructed green bean casserole. You get the idea. Have fun with it, or just bring booze.
Also, please keep presentation in mind. Bring your dish in something you can serve on the table in, or buy a $1 aluminum tray at the grocery to place it on when you arrive. Also, please remember that part of your dish is likely to be left-over, especially if it is a traditional dish that has duplicates. So feel free to bring bags or containers for leftovers.
Because this group is more likely to drink dessert than eat it, please consider a savory side as opposed to dessert if you are on the fence. If you want to make cookies, or the family pumpkin pie, please do! But again, bringing a sleeve of Oreos or Peperidge Farm cookies doesn’t make you thoughtful, it makes you an ass that brought something no one needed. Just bring booze instead.
OK, almost done now. The most important part:
BOOZE:
Thanksgiving is the most American of all holidays. For this reason, please bring only wine, beer, and American Spirits (read: Bourbon). While locally made products like ______ and _____ are acceptable, a decent bottle of American made brown liquor will be welcomed at this event. Wine and beer are important too. Bring them. If you bring beer, PLEASE bring a cooler and ice!!! I cannot make this point strongly enough. The kitchen is a mess and the fridge will be the last place you would want to put beer anyway, as the door will open and close and nothing will get/stay cold. If you plan to drink beer, please bring it in a cooler with ice.Like this email, this event will take some time and effort for those hosting and putting it on. Please be kind to our host ______. The effort required to bring a cooler and fill it with ice, bring ready-to-serve items, and be friendly to the host is not too much for a group of fully-functioning adults. A few minutes of pre-planning can make a big difference when the shit hits the fan and the chaos erupts.
As with past years, I will put together a live-stream of the preparations to entertain everyone while at work Friday and perhaps Saturday as well.
Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have or run ideas by me if you like. Anyone who wants to help with logistics and planning is welcome!
You’re dear friend, and Executive Culinary Curator,
-M
Some additional notes for the ECC:
- There is no need to roast your own turkey. If you want to, by all means go ahead. However, no one will complain if you buy a bird from a local smokehouse or BBQ restaurant. As long as the ECC carves the bird at the event, no one will care. It is important to do some planning as I have attended a Friendsgiving with a pre-cooked bird that was not totally defrosted at serving time.
- Bring your own knives and cutting boards. I cannot stress this enough. You cannot depend on your host to have proper utensils. Make sure to do a walk through the day before and bring anything you need. Carving the bird is challenging enough with a large, hungry crowd. Carving with a dull, shitty knife on an undersized cutting board is the worst.
- Also, I’m serious about the live stream. Assuming a Saturday night party, take Friday off to prep. Set up a periscope/instagram live/ustream feed and share it with the p
partygoers. Trust me, they’ll get a kick out of watching you chop onions and make gravy. Be a hero for once in your life, ok? - The ECC should pour their first drink exactly 1 hour prior to the party’s start. And make it a Bourbon. Extra points for Wild Turkey.
.
Respond
@micahwiener
@micahwiener
micahtx
micah@grandex.co
Just a heads up, the excel doc requires permission.
Hahahahaha. Classic Micah.
email micah at grandex dot co and I’ll get you the doc.
Toss in a mousepad and we got a deal.
Last year we had someone brings tostitos and a bottle of soda to friendsgiving. They were mocked appropriately. Cooking a side dish or bringing a bottle of wine isn’t that difficult, given how much the host does to prepare (cooking turkey, setting the table, cleaning the house etc).
Excellent work, I deem your Columbus commentary forgiven and congratulate you for your contributions to the world of Friendsgiving
That means the world to me, Dolphin.
Store bought pies–no one ever touches those. Fuck those!
My place has no common areas so I can’t ever be a host, so I’m more than a a little sad none of my friends have stepped up to the plate this year to host a Friendsgiving.
Gonna disagree on the “just bring booze instead of food” thing. Everyone should be bringing at least one or two bottles of wine to Friendsgiving to begin with so you can put in the minimal effort required to make a simple side, tossed salad, or dessert.
Absolutely agree, my friends are drinks we need a shit ton of booze.
Stock the bar friendgiving combo?
No we just drink a lot.
nah.
What about the plus one? I’m currently the plus one to a Friendsgiving and the person bringing me (lucky her, I know) is already bringing a dish. Planning on bringing some wine even though I wasn’t asked to bring anything.
Always show up with something even if you weren’t asked to. The wine should be good m, but ask the person your going with. She will let you know if you should bring anything.
Best thing you can invest in if you host multiple events throughout the year is a chafing set. All you need is 3 or 4 wire rack chafing stands, a 12 pack of ethanol gel, and use those $1 disposable aluminum pans to steam warm everything up. All dishes are warm and everyone is happy.
What are you and your friends like that you would read an email that long let alone comply with all these rules
what about venmoing like 40+ ??
Hot take: instant potato flakes plus plenty of cream, butter, and salt is almost always better than mashing potatoes yourself.
Nothing from the store? Really?
Absolutely nothing from the store. If I’m roasting a turkey, making gravy from scratch, baking pies, and making probably 2 sides, I’m going to be pissed if you show up with freaking store bought potato salad.
To be fair, you’re doing all that because you volunteered to be the ECC. You don’t get to bitch about how much work you put in when you volunteered.
I agree, and I always volunteer to be the ECC because I love to cook – but since you know that there is someone putting in that much effort, you should at least not bitch about being asked to bring one item of real food.
so basically you’re still gonna bitch about it…
You do realize that not all PGPers have time to whip up stuff like that, right?
It really doesn’t take a lot of time to make a side. Don’t be lazy and bring trash to Thanksgiving.
If it’s on a Sunday when I can actually make something because it’s one of my days off, then sure, I’ll make a crockpot of sweet potatoes or mac and cheese. If it’s on a Saturday when I’m working, forget it. And if you think it’s trash, don’t invite me.
*whispers* crockpot while you work
If you are attending a Saturday afternoon/evening Friendsgiving(which I assume is the standard), then you should have all day(at least 4-6 hours easy) Saturday before the event to make something. A decent, cooked side dish shouldn’t take any more than an hour or two tops depending on what you make. You have plenty of time if you aren’t a scumbag friend.
Put a little effort into it to show your friends that you are actually thankful and appreciative of them, especially the hosts.
And if you absolutely don’t have time then you should be asking the host ahead of time what else you can bring that will contribute to the day: plates, cups, utensils, napkins, tablecloths, games, etc. Effort doesn’t necessarily mean you have to spend a ton of time.
Yeah, you do realize not all of us get weekends off, right?
Well Dave, plan ahead. Maybe bake a pie you can make a day or two before the even when you have the time. OR be the guy that brings extra booze because you don’t have time to cook, like it was mentioned in the article. Store bought food to these type of events is trash, period.
Glad you’re not inviting me…my friends and my wife’s friends wouldn’t give a shit if it’s store bought.
You’ll never be invited, Dave11686.
Oh darn
GTFO. Just bring booze like the piece says, bozo.
Wooooooooooooooooooooow
I’m with Micah on that. If you don’t have one holiday side dish specialty by now, bring the booze.