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At my age, it’s common for me to be out with one or two couples every weekend. They vary in tolerability, but the one thing that they all have in common is their capacity to judge.
It has always been in my experience that the couples in a group of people who are out on the town are the ones who are most likely to cast judgment on others; whether that be for drunk choices or offensive comments muttered.
These couples think that because they’re together they have some right to judge the people who go out every weekend in search of a partner. You’ll often find these couples huddled in a corner, nursing cocktails and looking at their phones desperately trying to get their significant other to call an Uber home.
This whole “going out to the bars” thing is beneath them, you see? They’ve found someone, so why should they have to continue to go out with the hopeless masses who frequent bars every weekend looking for a one night stand?
This is not an indictment on couples all over the world. I’m sure there are plenty of awe-inspiring couples out there who actively encourage their single friends to engage in the chase or go home with some random guy/girl from the bar.
Hell, I’d even bet that there are couples who get really drunk with their single friends on the weekend. But I don’t know those couples, and chances are neither do you.
The couples that I know are worse than my mother when it comes to opinions on me settling down (also read as: hurry up and find a girlfriend, goddamnit).
I know for a fact that there have been countless occasions where friends of mine who are in healthy relationships sit down with their girlfriend and get a stern talking to: “You know, I’m not so sure about Duda. He just seems…immature. Maybe let’s just go out with Jackie [her friend] and Dan [Jackie’s boyfriend who he hates] next weekend, huh!?”
Single people reading this can identify with that sentence above, I’m sure. No one – and I mean no one – is more judgmental than a boyfriend and girlfriend who have a bunch of single people in their friend group.
I realize that not all of you are as polarizing as I am. But many of you are single, and I promise you that the friends you have who are in relationships judge the fuck out of you. They think they’re better than you every time they meet up to go to a bar on the weekend. They look at you from an ivory tower casting doubt, shame, and venom on your character simply because they’re in a relationship and you aren’t.
I have a roommate who has a very opinionated girlfriend. She stays the night at our apartment at least three times a week, and on the weekdays when we gather together in the living room to watch a tv show or sporting event she’s there to give me her opinion on popular culture and anything else she deems noteworthy.
I make it a point to challenge her on subjects because, in my opinion, she is almost always wrong. The worst part about all of this? I know that she goes to bed at night thinking that she has the upper hand on me. She has a boyfriend. Ipso facto, she owns me.
They go to bed together every night and chortle to themselves about me specifically and I know it because I’ve heard it. “Yeah,” they whispered one night when they thought I was already asleep. “He proved you wrong, but he’s still single and alone.”
I’m sure there are many of you who have never thought about this before but I want you to dig deep for a minute. Think about all of the times you’ve been out with friends of yours who have a girlfriend or boyfriend that they brought along. They’re almost always disconnected from the group, right?
Laughing indiscreetly in a corner and pointing? I know you’ve seen this behavior before. People in relationships judge others who aren’t in them because to them, they are more mature than you. They have something that you don’t and when push comes to shove they’ll throw that fact in your face.
I’m not saying you have to disconnect completely from your friends who have significant others, I just want you to know that there is a good chance these people are silently judging you from a moral high ground that they shouldn’t be on in the first. You’re not less of a person because you’re single and don’t let two people in a relationship tell you otherwise. Boom roasted. .
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
They hate us cuz they ain’t us
Bingo. They not-so-secretly wish they could go out into the world and tame some strange
There is no secret about it. I tell all my single friends I envy there freedom and lifestyle at times. You always somewhat want what you can’t have.
Your comments are absolute fire today
People think about you waaaaaaay less than you think they do…
Their weekends and free time do not revolve around thinking about you and your life choices.
Don’t disagree, but I think it sort of goes both ways as well.
Just don’t be that single friend who can’t enjoy a solid conversation with any group of people because you’re too busy trying to find a warm body to go home with and you’re good. I see you’re point though.
I agree with Depressed Employee, definitely a two way street. Due to the amount of (secret) loathing of couples done by singles, some of that shit has to fly the other way too
True every time i see an old married couple at HEB just shopping together and talking about their grandkids or whatever random things older folks talk about i find it kinda amazing. Maybe its cause I’m in my late 20’s and that nesting instinct is kickin but given the option of slaying randos on a regular or being with someone that gets me and is only moderately cray, i’d choose the latter.
I don’t think I’m better than others, just better than Duda.
It’s sounds like you need new friends man.
The people who act like this are the same people who post stuff on social media about their s/o regularly.
What kind of people do you hang out with? Most of my friends are single and for that reason, they are the best kind of people to go out with.
This is one of the biggest differences between your mid 20’s and late 20’s. Some people in their mid 20’s want to put on the facade that because things are stable, they’ve got it figured out. In your late 20’s, you’ll stop giving a shit and crave having your single friends around because they tend to be the most fun.
Letting being single or being in a relationship define you is stupid. The best couples are ones where each person is still to fun to hang out with, either separate or together
Guys, we all know that a relationship is the flagship advertisement to the world that you have given up on life. It’s easier to let yourself go and come home and IG your sausage into the same socket than it is to be on point all the time. The most innovative people never had relationships, yeah they were crazy but still. Ex. Nicola Tesla. When you procreate with your SO, you can’t go do all the cool shit you wanted to do when you were single like go to Australia or some shit but if you get herpes from sleeping around, you can still go to Australia hahahahahaha
Typo alert! Someone’s gonna have to come find me and take me out back and put me down