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As a man who is perpetually single or in casual relationships, I’ve often wondered what a future with a serious girlfriend on the brink of marriage would be. Everyone I know who is married has a great proposal story. However, in my ever unlucky life, I’ve always feared that I would be one of those poor bastards who gets down on one knee and hears the dreaded “nah.” After reading some of these stories, I now know that just hearing no is not the worst that can happen.
He makes his proposal. She starts crying. Then she blurts out “I fucked Lenny!”
Dude’s face just twists into rage as they then begin to fight over this latest admission that she apparently slept with a friend of his and chose this moment to come clean.
I just recorded most of it before setting the phone on a bench and leaving.
This was a stranger who was asked by the guy to photograph what he thought was going to be the happiest moment of his life. Instead she got to witness the worst moment, and handled it pretty appropriately but just ghosting out of there. Not sure why she recorded most of it. I feel like you gotta cut after the girlfriend admits to banging some other dude. As to the rejection itself, coming clean on cheating immediately after the proposal is ballsy of this girl, and props to her for not getting engaged to this poor guy. Still, the love of your life admitting to cheating plus making a scene in public is basically my nightmare.
My dad proposed to my mom after they’d been seeing each other for just under two weeks. She laughed and basically told him he was crazy, that it was way too soon. My dad said, (and he is very proud of this fact,) “Fine. I asked you once. I’m not gonna ask again.” My mom thought he was bluffing. After a year of dating she started giving him a hard time about not asking her to get married again, and he stuck to his guns and said she missed her chance and he wasn’t going to ask again. My mom finally broke down and asked him to marry her.
Okay, this just makes no fucking sense. The guy asked the girl to marry him after TWO WEEKS? Red flag, even if he’s joking. He then says he won’t ask her again, which I would normally respect, but that makes me think that the proposal wasn’t a joke. Double red flag. Then after a year, when she starts showing that she’s actually down because they’ve had a good, long run of dating (you know, the way normal people do), he sticks to his guns that she missed her shot on the TWO WEEK PROPOSAL? That just confirms he WAS serious in his two week proposal and that’s a thousand red flags on this dude. I have no idea why she would keep dating him; if I proposed to any girl I was going out with for two weeks, they’d leave a female-shaped cloud of dust behind after they sped off.
Oh, and while there’s nothing diametrically wrong with a girl proposing to a guy, it’s a very touchy situation. There are a lot of less evolved people (who have a Y chromosome) who will mock a guy who gets proposed to by a woman. You gotta make sure it’s the type of relationship where who proposes won’t matter and the guy won’t have any hangups. From the brief bit I know about this guy, he’s hung-up like that itchy shirt you never wear.
After a Christmas vacation we were home and I asked her about marriage. “I don’t want to marry you. I never wanted to marry you. I never will marry you.” followed by a thirty minute speech about missing her single life.
I died a little inside, honestly. Tried to make it work but I realize now I stopped trying after that. Eight months later she moves out. Three months after that she is begging me to take her back, she wants to get married, she wants to own a house. And I’m just too hurt to believe her.
Oh boy, this is brutal. On the positive side, he didn’t actually propose with the ring, he just broached the subject. However, hearing from someone you love that they never have or will want to marry you is a gut punch, especially when they’re talking about how they want to be single. “I want to be single” is basically code for “I’m pretty sure I can find someone better.” Then to have her wanting to come back a few months later…that’s tough. Mad respect to him for not falling back in with someone who so emphatically denied wanting to be with him (spoiler, turns out her single life wasn’t great and she can’t do better).
The only qualm I have: after this rejection, she doesn’t move out for eight months? Bro, this happens to me she’s out the next night unless she owns the place we’re in. I’ll pay the money to put her up in a hotel, but I am sure as shit not sharing a bathroom with someone who just curbstomped my heart.
I proposed after 3ish years of dating and one year of living together and she said no. I was offering her my great-grandparents wedding ring. That was Friday night. By Sunday night, after a trip to her parents, she came back and told me that she was gay. That was 22 years ago.
Ross Gellar, is that you? Seriously, this is a shit situation for all involved. No one’s really to blame, that’s a hard conversation to have for both of them. Maybe she should have said something if she suspected the proposal was coming, but if she handled this rejection gently that’s kind of the best you can do. At least he got the ring back.
I turned down a proposal using the excuse that he was drunk. He was but I knew he was serious. I drove him home and tried the old ‘I want to be friends’ speech but he shut me down. He said if I didn’t love him he would just have to get over me. And he got out of the car and walked away.
A day later I realized what a fucking idiot I was being and I called him.
Tomorrow is our 26th anniversary.
Okay, beat by beat. “You’re drunk” is the excuse you make when your platonic friend tries to go in for a kiss on his birthday. Not acceptable when you’re turning down a significant other’s marriage proposal, and you know he’s serious.
Second, the “I want to be friends” speech is bullshit. Everyone knows it; “I want to be friends” is code for “leave now please, I am not attracted to you and never will be.” Even worse, you’ve been dating this guy right? Probably for a while if he’s proposing. No, you can’t backtrack to “let’s just be friends” if you’ve (presumably) bumped uglies with the guy. He is right to completely skip the moping disappointed stage and go to the ice-out stage since it’s clear that the rejection isn’t just because you’re not ready. “Just be friends” is a rejection of him.
Last, though, you change your mind a day later? Like…what? Honestly, I think that you were drunk the night before, because what you did makes less sense than this guy drunkenly proposing.
She said no, I got a dog and a case of beer and lived happily ever after………………………
This is the dude I want to be, or at least the dude I want to have in my corner, after my marriage proposal is rejected. .
Image via Shutterstock