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Navigating the tumultuous, murky waters of female friendship can be more confusing than a hot guy attempting to pull off a RompHim. Of course in an ideal world, all your friends would get along swimmingly, everyone giggling while braiding each other’s hair and making friendship bracelets until the early hours of the morning.
But things aren’t like when you were 8 years old at summer camp.
Unfortunately, the “everyone is BFFs” mentality has transformed into cliques, frenemies, and selectively inviting the ladies you know will get along best to specific activities while others miss out on the group text.
I’ll be the first to admit that it can be annoying, and occasionally a hassle, knowing that Amanda isn’t a fan of Sierra, and Vanessa doesn’t like the bars that Ashley loves, etc. (That doesn’t mean that I still don’t force them all together once a year on my birthday, but I digress.)
Despite the differences and underlying conflicts in Girl World, there is one factor that overrides all others: mutual hatred of the same person.
They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and when that thought multiplies things get scary.
Recently I got to witness the strength of this sentiment first hand, and I have to say that it was glorious.
My former best friend got engaged a little over a year ago to a guy who hates me. This was the girl I did everything with, including lived with for three years, and that all came crashing down when she fell fast and hard for the first real boyfriend she’d ever had.
The breaking point for us came when he yelled at me in a bar that I was single because I didn’t read the Bible. A laughable fight to say the least, but she clearly could not continue to be besties with a heathen like myself.
So I lost a friend and she started planning a wedding.
There was the proposal and ensuing Facebook photo album that turned into a Pinterest board. Following that was the Save the Date and engagement photos, then the planning status updates asking for recommendations for things from photographers to venues to spray tans. Everything was prominently on social media display leading up to the bachelorette party, and finally the Big Day.
Now I’m not sure if you’ve heard a gaggle of bitches discuss weddings, but even the details of your closest friends and family member’s weddings are fair game for total dissection. And heaven forbid if you actually don’t like the person whose wedding it is because that’s called a massacre.
To say that I am proud of my friends for banding together in solidarity to bash this girl’s happy day would be an understatement. Whether via text, group message, Snapchat or in-person over drinks, I had ladies from every aspect of my life entertaining me daily as the updates rolled in. Because whenever a new post appeared, I had multiple screenshots lighting up my inbox ready to be reviewed and mocked. And honestly, the speed and consistency with which I was notified by my ragtag crew was impressive.
It didn’t matter that they might not be each other’s favorite person. All that mattered was the fact that they now shared a common enemy towards whom their disdain could be directed. Shared interests are the best way to bring people together, after all.
And yeah we could have all been better people by ignoring things and not trashing the quality of the photos and how tacky the favors were, but where’s the fun in that? To quote my friend in regards to our behavior: “We wouldn’t be so petty and bitchy if she wasn’t such a bitch to you in the first place.”
And that, my friends, is what #squadgoals are all about.
I’m not saying everyone should go out and be terrible, awful, gossipy people and add to the ridiculousness that is being in a group of girl friends. But the next time Jen is dreading being around Anna or vice versa, try reminding them about that douchebag who cheated on Rachel a few months ago. Then just sit back and watch the bonding magic happen..
Image via Shutterstock
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Whatever Lola Wants
Outward appearance of being a hot mess with just enough Type A personality to not be a complete disappointment to my parents. Almost as good at avoiding commitment as I am at holding my liquor.
@LauraMeinert
“Never try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other.”
This makes me feel all the sad feels. I was wrongfully accused of spreading rumor(s) about a girl freshman year of college. The way those girls joined together to come after me was like nothing seen outside of a Predators in the Wild special on National Geographic.
I feel your pain, freshman year of high school I confronted my best friend about she and my “ex” (who I was not over – lol middle school boyfriends) flirting in front of me, and she freaked out saying I was telling everyone she was several synonyms for a prostitute, and none of my friends talked to me for about 7 months. Fun fact, a month after she dropped me, she started dating the guy and no one else saw anything wrong with that.
These hoes ain’t loyal
“The breaking point for us came when he yelled at me in a bar that I was single because I didn’t read the Bible.”
Unless your friend is also a Bible thumper, expect a divorce within the next few years, along with an apology from her to you, stating that she probably should’ve known better.
“gaggle of bitches” is my new favorite phrase
This sounds like an exhausting way to live life.
Mutual hatred to girls is like beer to guys
Not to be rude but you and your friends sound quite cunty
lol
Serious question, why do girls have frenemies? If you don’t like someone, why do you hang out with them? I have never seen a guy do that
If guys didn’t have frenemies then deFries wouldn’t have a social circle.
you’re gonna use deFries as the gold standard for guys?
Because when you don’t bring much to the table in a friendship it’s easier to gossip and bad mouth someone to make yourself feel better than it is to confront the realization that nobody likes you because you don’t have much going on besides what you put on Instagram that morning .
Honestly it’s usually one of your friends likes someone you dislike so you tolerate that person to be considerate to your friend.
I try to keep my distance as much as possible but it’s easier to just vag up and play nice because I share all the same social circles with this person.
we act like we’re friends with everyone in the group for the sake of keeping the peace, since actually getting along with every single one of them is a little far fetched. otherwise the group would die.
Sometimes you don’t have a choice. It could be your friend’s friend or someone who is always invited to the same things you are
Idk man. I dont think it’s just girls I’m a dude and have clinked a couple of beers with strangers in my day over thinking the same people are clowns as another person does.
Examples: Joe Flacco, Mike Milbury, Steven A Smith
I think hate unites all, but girls definitely ‘do it better’. Guys ridicule and laugh, a girl will dissect and destroy.
Girls, this embodies the principle that in general, people are horrible creatures given special tools to waste on petty pursuits. Hatred is what makes the world go round except it’s in the shape of a rectangle and dyed green with symbolic imagery and bullshit slogans that have no real meaning. People rally around hatred more than positivity because misery breeds company and when you realize when every adult you meet is basically miserable yet chooses to reproduce another future miserablist, you realize that I’m 100% correct….for the record, it’s literally easier to become a member of Illuminati than it is to get verified on Twitter so there’s always that. Gotta think positive
What would you say if I told you I was both #verified and a member of the illuminati
Well, you must have the gifts of supreme beings from another dimension because I can’t get verified on there yet I’m ME!