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I’ve never spoken to my neighbors. They’re a mid-30s couple with two children and a three-legged dog. They clearly think they’re better than me in every aspect of their life, and frankly, they’ve never been more right about anything. By no means am I a bad neighbor, but I could not bring less to our neighborhood than I currently do. I get my work done by slowing down when they’re walking their kids to school and waving when they’re out for a walk at night.
But believe me – there are some shitty neighbors out there. Especially as evidenced by Neighbors From Hell on Instagram.
Just watch.
You have to respect how little of a shit this neighbor gives about the emotional well-being of the guy who just got broken up with. That being said, if you’re arguing in your car rather than in the comfort of your own home, you’re better off without the other person anyway.
The person asking to be unfollowed definitely has an organic rooftop garden and keeps tabs on their tomatoes for fear of people stealing them.
I believe in human rights for everyone. But if you shame someone for having a puppy, you’re a dead man walking.
You can’t steal another man’s newspaper. Sunday Wall Street Journals cost, like, thirty dollars. Well, actually, you can steal someone’s newspaper if it’s sitting outside of their hotel room. Completely acceptable.
The best part about this is simply the contact’s name: Sad #305.
Did someone order a True Thirst Donut? Because the truth hurts, don’t it? Nailed that.
How many stars did he get, though? The real Uber currency is stars, not dollars. This guy should know that.
Just kidding, that’s just my justification not to tip.
I thought this was a completely unneccessary move until she clarified that she boned out her boyfriend because she took her wet clothes out of the dryer. That should be punishable by death.
I’d keep commenting on some of these, but you’d be better served just hitting them with the follow and thanking me later. Might give you some inspiration to become a slightly-better-than-shitty neighbor. .
Image via YouTube
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
Avoid and ignore all neighbors and you’ll never have these problems.
Same people have lived across the hall from me for 3 years. Couldn’t tell you their names if you had a gun to my head.
Exactly how it should be…especially in apartments.
Only legit if on the neighborhoods app. This dumbass cat lady in the next neighborhood over posts about her missing cat every week. The cat went missing, I shit you not, in October 2015. So, I asked once why the reward keeps changing because I’m not going to give her the cat back if it’s only $500 when it used to be $1000. Instant shit storm.
The longest and most talked-about thread I’ve seen since downloading Next Door is about throwing dog poop away in other people’s trash cans. The sarcasm and passive aggression hit new highs that week.
Wait. Am I supposed to be tipping my Uber driver (in cash)? I have never done this, note have I ever seen anyone do this.
Nor**
My neighbors called the health department twice because my dogs barking on occasion is considered noise pollution. None of the other dogs that bark incessantly though. Just mine. They also threatened to tow away a trailer I had parked on my property. Moral of the story: Fuck HOAs
and fuck your neighbors
Fakr
Fake*
Good work out of you.
Wait, you’re supposed to tip Uber drivers?
My current neighbors “move furniture” in the middle of the night. So yeah.
It’s 7:06 on a work night and my 55 year old neighbors next street back are shooting fireworks. Don’t know how to feel.
You should feel like grabbing a beer and enjoying the show. It’s 7:06 for crying out loud.