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Depending on your current level of caffeine tolerance, your morning brew may not be nearly as effective as it was a few years ago. While I certainly can’t function without it, I’m finding more and more that it takes a k-cup in my apartment, a break room cup of java at the office, and a mid-morning iced coffee before I feel relatively perked up. When I have the time to stop at Starbs before a morning meeting, I often make my latte a quad just to attempt to give myself an added jolt of energy. If your tolerance is sky-high and you need multiple shots just to keep you awake, you may be in luck – an Australian cafe has created a coffee that’s eighty (eighty!) times more caffeinated than your regular old Pike Place.
Sign me up.
If you’re in the area, head on over to Viscous Cafe where you can order the appropriately-named Ass Kicker. Considering that it has over 40 times the amount of caffeine that FDA considers safe, you’d better consume it slowly over the recommended 3-hour time period. However, the Ass Kicker is made with multiple different forms of caffeine – espresso, cold drip ice cubes, and a cold drip drizzle, so the different forms of the drug hit your body at different times, giving you all-day energy.
Of course, it may be too good to be true – especially if you have high blood pressure. The coffee comes with a special warning for those with heart issues because the ridiculously high levels of caffeine are literally unsafe for some people to drink. Have a big presentation coming up? Might as well order the Ass Kicker, but know that you’re doing so at your own risk, and if you die, you can’t sue Viscous for tempting you with this heavenly beverage. Bottoms up!
[via Teen Vogue]
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Steph W.
Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at recruitchairtsm@gmail.com
@therecruitchair
Have already had a heart issue but I love coffee. Basically just accepting my death here.
…I am Jack’s medulla oblongata. Without me, Jack could not regulate his heart rate, blood pressure or breathing…
I once had like 8 Surges in one sitting. Probably the same thing.
80x stronger than coffee?? Pretty sure guys working in the financial district have been using that since the 80’s
I could use some of that stuff for the home stretch of work, right now.
If you don’t have a heart condition this will surely give you one.
This sounds intriguing . . . then again, I wouldn’t be able to kill as much time walking to the coffee pot for my frequent 8oz refills.