Microsoft’s Co-Founder’s 300-Foot Superyacht Just Damaged A Protected Coral Reef, He’s Denying Everything

Microsoft's Co-Founder's 300-Foot Superyacht Just Damaged A Protected Coral Reef, He's Denying Everything

You know when someone gets really rich and forgets where they came from, only to vilify themselves even more by pretending they don’t know what you’re talking about when you tell them how much of an asshole they’ve become? Well that’s kind of what happened with Microsoft’s Co-founder, Paul Allen, when he parked his 300-foot yacht near a coral reef in the Caribbean.

Per The Independent:

A 300ft yacht owned by Microsoft’s billionaire co-founder has allegedly caused extensive damage to a protected area of coral reef in the Cayman Islands.

The anchor chain on Paul Allen’s vessel damaged 80 percent of coral reef in Grand Cayman’s West Bay Replenishment zone, according to officials.

A spokesperson for the Caribbean Islands’ Department of Environment told Cayman News Service: “In addition to assessing the damage and determining the cause of this incident, we are also paying close attention to lessons learned so that we can more effectively prevent these accidents while still hosting visiting yachts.”

Paul Allen, who is worth a reported $17.4 billion, denied any wrongdoing in the whole debacle. And I know he’s worth a little more than me and might know a few things that I don’t know, but I’m not entirely sure that the “Deny Deny Deny” strategy is his move here. Normally when you breeze through 80% of a protected coral reef in the Caymans, throwing the blame on Cayman Port Authority is a ballsy move (especially when everyone knows the chain connected to your anchor did it).

I mean, look at this fuckin’ yacht. This thing just looks like it drags dead coral behind it when it goes from port to port.

There is some irony in all of this, though, as reported by New York Magazine.

Allen’s investment firm, Vulcan, Inc. — which, awkwardly enough, is intended to back enterprises that are “committed to reducing environmental harm” — calls the damage report “exaggerated” and could face a fine of up to $600,000.

Hey bro, if you’re funding something that’s trying to reduce environmental harm, you may wanna steer clear of harming the fuckin’ environment and then denying the hell out of it.

See, when we were in high school, one of my friends went upstairs to go to the bathroom at our buddy Josh’s house during a party. When he stumbled down the stairs with a white face and wide eyes, he said, “Hey Josh, someone puked on your mom’s dolls.” Not willing to admit his wrongdoing, it completely made matters worse due to the fact that we all knew exactly who fucking puked all over Josh’s mom’s dolls. Had he been all like, “Hey man, I booted on your mom’s dolls. Can I buy her some news ones?” then it would’ve gotten swept under the rug. But nope.

The lesson here? If you puke on someone’s dolls? Buy new ones. And if your 300-foot mega yacht destroys 80% of a preserved coral area in the Caribbean, just apologize and make a billion dollar donation.

[via The Independent / New York Mag]

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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