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Interesting trends have been coming out of Silicon Valley for as long as anyone can remember, from microdosing LSD to the unforgettable Juicero. The latest one to come out of the Bay Area, however, is one of the most puzzling I’ve ever seen. So what is it? Well, people are drinking water that is completely untreated and unfiltered…and that’s it. That’s all there is to it.
From Time:
While the beverage isn’t widespread yet, a number of untreated water startups have cropped up in states ranging from California to Maine, according to the Times. They’re attracting those with misgivings about tap water treatment processes and additives, as well as people who want to preserve the natural substances found in virgin water.
Besides “untreated water startups” sounding like a joke left on the cutting room floor of Silicon Valley, I can’t help but draw comparisons between this and the anti-vaxxer movement. Unsurprisingly, age-old conspiracies about fluoride and other additives account for at least part of the momentum behind this trend, and it seems like a classic case of people conducting a few minutes of “internet research” and coming to the conclusion that they understand health and science better than doctors.
So what happens when we have the first outbreak of cholera or Giardia resulting from people drinking untreated water? Something tells me that raw water supporters will say something to the effect of “It’s still better than drinking that mind-control serum that Big Water is pushing.” Disease outbreaks haven’t stopped people from consuming raw milk and cheese, so I’m betting that raw water has a future.
So how can you try raw water if you’re interested? The Time article points out that raw water startups are emerging across the country, but you’ll have to get creative if none are in your area. For now, your best bet is probably to go to a restaurant and order a glass of water “in the French style” while slipping your server a ten-dollar bill. If they don’t catch on to what you mean, a tirade about the dangers of public complacency and government regulation should set them straight.
While raw water is a really dumb health trend, it’s a fantastic business plan. If you set up your own “distillery,” you don’t have to worry about any of the cleaning processes or quality standards that have made it such a hard industry to get into in the past. If you get in now, the margins will be huge.
By the end of this year, your local trendy restaurant will have a “Water in the Raw” menu with varieties running the gamut from “Long Island Puddle” (featuring a gritty texture and an urban sheen) to “Mountain Spawn” (extracted during peak mating season of Alaskan Sockeye). Just make sure to stay up on all your immunizations, if you’re into that sort of thing.
[via Time]
Image via Pixabay
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WJ Cope
He's just wondering how long it's acceptable to call himself a "recent graduate."
@westifer33
@wescope33
wildwildwes33
“Water?!?! Never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.”
Clearly these people have never played Oregon Trail
PSA: DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR CORONADO THERE IS LITERAL FECES FLOATING AROUND OUT THERE
source: Ocean dwelling animal
What is wrong with people.
Name checks out.
If only people around the world without access to clean drinking water could see that Americans are paying $70 for 2.5 gallons of water that inevitably contains the hepatitis, cholera, and polio that kills so many people in their countries….
‘You can’t stop consenting adults from being stupid,” Marler said. “But we should at least try.’
Great quote from a Business Insider article on the raw water trend.
Euthanasia is legal in California. If people want to die from those diseases that’s their right, right?
For having so many smart people, Silicon Valley sure does some dumb shit.
I really didn’t think it could get worse than anti-vaxxers and anti-GMO. Yet here we are.
I would love to see them try and peddle this in Flint, Michigan. I would literally pay money to see them do this in Flint.
This is a great business plan in places that don’t have access to water. Business doesn’t give a shit about people and although water is a basic necessity for life, no one said it had to be clean. This is the best we can do in 2018 #blessed lol
I only want Raw Water guaranteed to give me the Raw Squirts.