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Everybody knows who Martin Shkreli is right? Okay, real quick, if you’ve just been unfrozen from a backyard in Encino by Sean Astin, Shkreli runs a drug company that last year jacked up the price of a drug 5,556%. Similar situation to what’s going on with the Mylan EpiPen hullabaloo that you’re probably seeing all over the news.
A quick aside: when I’m not slinging pure heat for you the readers, I spend my days helping drug companies price drugs (kind of), so I have an intimate knowledge of what these companies are trying to do by hiking the prices of their drugs. The harsh reality is that in this country we have no price setting regulations for drugs, and just like any other commodity, you’re allowed to raise the price of drugs even if they’ve been on the market for years. It happens all the time, it just doesn’t get the same publicity as Shkreli or Mylan. If it pisses you off (it should), I suggest voting and/or calling your congressman and asking for a central drug pricing mechanism through CMS.
Okay, back to Shkreli. Shkreli is a dick, that’s for sure, and he became the most punchable face in the United States after his testimony in front of Congress, which you can watch here:
It seemed like every content slinger on the dark edges of the internet were writing hit pieces about Shkreli and his punchable face. And somehow Shkreli, in an act of ultimate self-awareness, is actually auctioning off the chance to punch him in the face.
Okay, so the bids are rolling in, and someone’s trying to shell out $78K to clean Shkreli’s clock. I would hope it’s Floyd Mayweather, who not only has this kind of money between his couch cushions, but actually has the punch to do some damage. There’s just no way Mayweather could have read Shkreli’s tweet in the first place (he’s illiterate), so I digress. Anyway, looks like you’ll need some serious cheddar if you want to punch Shkreli. Maybe if Grandex sets up a GoFundMe, we can get the readers to chip in and Dave will show Shkreli the rope-a-dope that made him famous all throughout Central Texas.
It gives me (minor) faith in humanity that even super villains like Shkreli have a shred of self-awareness and are able to generate money for a good cause. Although he’s got so much damn money now as it is, he should offer to also match the highest bid.
Also, here’s my offer Shkreli.
Ball’s in your court. .
Image via YouTube
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Grandex, please open bidding on Duda. You’d make way more than you do off that man outfitters mech
Ahhhhh Duda was once beloved and is now hated. This begs the question: has he changed? Or were we just wrong?
*Merch – Started drinking early today.
i’m a little too pretty to be doing something like that
Take it easy, mothers always lie to their children.
*dainty. Fixed it.
You better hope Mayweather’s illiterate.
*inserts Bill Murray in Kingpin gif*
Everyone should pool their money together to have someone like Tyson or Holyfield do it. The more trauma, the better in this case.
I’ll put 5 on it
I feel like an assault charge would be cheaper…