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I read an article somewhere talking about the many things that postgrads need to do to try and enjoy life like they did in college. I was halfway through it and was beginning to give up on the whole idea, but I read a few more lines and all of a sudden it came alive. It felt like I just dove into a game of Jumanji. The article started stating ideas that would, in fact, make all things better. The best piece of advice it gave was this: “Fuck the 6.”
It’s true. As obvious as it may sound, some people have a hard time realizing that this will eliminate a number of problems that they may be having. It’s something that we all need to realize, sometimes it does not always get better. But there is always a way to ease the pain, and that brings me here to this article today.
I was introduced to the Binary by a dear friend of mine who was in a dire situation. The school he went to did not quite have, what we may call, a stockpile of good looking females. He once told me that he saw a number of girls who had more leg hair and better mustaches than him walking around campus freely. I think that may be all you need to hear when it comes to what he was dealing with.
He began using a different scale to justify the means of his actions. He wanted an easier way to rate the person he was looking at from across the room. He didn’t want to have to go through the 1-10 scale because quite frankly, by the time he thought through it all, he wanted nothing to do with the situation. He needed something quicker. Something instinctive and reactive. The basic way to look at it is this:
1 – You would have casual sexual relations with that girl/guy.
or
0 – That girl/guy may lack some teeth and/or hygiene.
It is a basic way to look at the 1-10 scale that most of us use. It is a simple, yet, sophisticated scale for measuring the opposite sex. Ladies and gentlemen, trust me when I say this: use the 0 or 1 scale. Go Binary. It’ll help you realize that, hey, maybe it’s not the best thing you’ve ever done, but you had a good time doing it. When you go out to the bar with the boys, or you’re out having a ladies night, try using the 0 or 1 scale. It’s simple, and there’s something funny about a table full of dudes shouting “ONE” when a total babe walks by. Good times.
Now, if I were to compare it to the 1-10 scale, a 1 would be the equivalent to a 6-10, and a 0 would be anything underneath. A smokeshow, drop dead gorgeous girl, is a hard 1. I’m talking a rock fucking hard 1. You see a girl across the bar and she has a lazy eye and a limp, but the body is there, she may be a soft 1, but a 1, nonetheless. Some may know this as a limp 1.
You probably would have figured this out on your own, but Binary can also apply to real property. I’m talking about bars, restaurants, dog parks, etc. Any location that’s known for being loaded with hot P or D, that’s a 1. That bar in the middle of Uptown serving bottomless mimosas all weekend? Yeah, big stiff 1 located at 1 Avenue.
You see a girl/guy and you realize they may make you go blind if you continue to look at them and their laugh may make you go deaf, that’s a 0. This scale gives you the opportunity to use your lower half to think and not that thing bouncing around in your skull. It helps you feel better Sunday morning when you wake up and see that girl who gave you the Paul Bunyan of handjobs the night before. Going Binary will help you realize that you can blame it on the alcohol and it’s perfectly okay. Use this scale everyone and let all your worries wash away. Except for the herpes worries. Those will never wash away.
At the end of the day, you either would or you wouldn’t. Remember that..
Image via Shutterstock
I have been a big proponent of the 0-1 scale for a while. I have actually modified it slightly to the 0-1-2 scale:
0- Wouldn’t do her/him
1- Would do her/him
2- Would brag about it
Yeah you didn’t create that, it’s called the trinity scale. TFM even did a spread on it years ago
1. I did create that. The fact that someone else has a like mind doesn’t detract that i still thought of it separately.
2. I have been out of college (and off of TFM) for a few years.
3. Chill out.
Trinary* thanks autocorrect
I think the Binary Scale Theory of Bangability is in direct correlation to the Tindernomics Law of Right Swipes. Studies have also shown having a Dad Body increases you’re odds of banging a “1” 69% due to the Dad Body Theory of Relativity. #Science
You’re missing the point of the 1-10 scale. Me being who I am and how much sex I don’t get, the 1-10 scale is an inverse correlation. A 10 needs 1 shot to knock of the edge and a 1 needs 10 shots just for me to not remember.
I thought this went without saying.
We went to this scale in engineering school because of a lack of both quality and quantity of chicks.
In my experience, the lower the probability for a degree field to positively impact your future salary, prestige, and responsibility, the hotter the girls that are in attendance seem to be.
In other words, if you want to be surrounded by hot chicks, major in something pointless or depressingly traditional/oversaturated market.