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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co. All topics welcome.
Dillon,
Was hoping for an unbiased opinion on how old is too old to still be cruising around on a long board from time to time. I’m well aware of the stigma of people riding boards around the city but generally don’t care and didn’t think it mattered until recently.
I had been going out with this girl for about 2 months, everything going great and then last weekend when we get back to my apartment she sees my long board sitting in the corner since I’d taken it for a cruise earlier in the day. She proceeds to go off about how lame it is, tell me that its an activity for deadbeats and that she’d be humiliated if any of her friends ever saw me on it. At first I thought she was fucking with me but turns out she wasn’t and that’ll be the last time I see her. Regardless of the activity not going to be with anyone who dictates what I can do like that.
My question is, is she right? I’m 4 years out of school and think I’m doing pretty damn well by societal standards. I work in IB, live in a high-end building and am a corporate slave 90-100 hours a week. Its not like I’m riding it all over the city every day, I take it out for a cruise once every few weeks and is a great way to decompress a bit. Again I understand the stereotypes of the people who are riding boards around the city but I don’t fit any of them and its something I enjoy so is it really that bad of a look?
You’re talking to the number one Bird influencer in America, so how could I possibly tell you to ditch the longboard while I, a grown ass adult, am scootering my life away through the streets of Austin? I can’t. You’re pretty young, too. It’s not like you’re longboarding to your kid’s tee ball game. And even that could be pulled off.
Here’s the truth: If you own it with confidence, you can get away with anything that society would otherwise deem “lame.” Some confident swagger with a tinge of self-depreciation atop a longboard is just a dude boarding to the coffee shop. It’s fine.
You’re better off without that chick anyway.
Sub Dill,
LTFT. Got a quick one for you or the commenters. I’m trying to be a gym-before-work boi but I struggle HARD actually getting out of bed in the morning to actually make it to the gym. Any recommendations on how to actually get into the routine?
I was in your shoes several years ago. I struggled putting two feet to the floor after waking up and the idea of physical exertion before 7:00 a.m. was laughable.
Pre-workout was the answer for me. Pre-workout boosts your energy, among other things. It makes me actually want to be active. The stuff works. Getting out of bed won’t get any easier until you force yourself to do it over and over again, but becoming active once you do get out of bed will. Repetition creates habit. Get after it.
Hey D,
What do you think about seeing someone who doesn’t believe in monogamy? I’ve been dating this guy for a month and a half and this morning he told me he doesn’t believe in the being with just one person. He said he realized after his last relationship of 3 years, that the construct of society for people needing to be in relationships and get married is ridiculous… I have feelings for him and he’s told me he likes me, but I kind of thought a relationship would be nice. Should I move on or just roll along with this?
Thanks for the help!
If you want to be in a monogamous relationship, you obviously have to move on. No question about it.
Does “just roll along with this” mean you’d have to be accepting of him dating other people while dating you? Eventually breaking up with you to move on to the next one? Introducing someone else to the relationship? Are you willing to accept any of these outcomes?
DC-
Long time first time. I’m a huge fan of your column and this week I need some help.
My last relationship ended in December and I’m ready to start getting back in the dating game. The problem is that I have alopecia areata and have recently lost a lot of my hair. My hair is growing back in but I’m currently rocking this buzzed head (a la Cara Delevingne) with a few random bald spots for the time being.
My question is how should I approach my profile in dating apps while I look like this? I don’t want to deceive anyone by posting only pictures of me with hair but I also know that a lot of initial connection is driven by looks. I would love your take on how to approach this. Thank you for the help.
Note: The emailer is a lady, which matters to some degree.
I think a mix of pre and post-hair loss pictures with a witty allusion to your condition in your bio is the move here. Give them a glimpse of how you’ll look once your hair fills back in while being upfront about how it looks currently.
In your bio, maybe make a joke about it to show that you’re self-aware and confident, but it is also a chance to explain why your hair looks the way it does. Show some personality here. Good luck out there.
Hey Dillon,
I’m currently living with 2 guys I went to college with. One of the 2 i would consider my best friend. The other is someone I’ve always been “friendly” with simply from hanging out with mutual people but we’ve never really seen eye to eye.
Mostly because I feel he’s a dirty cheapass who brings nothing to the table
Our lease is up soon and me and my good buddy are looking into places without him. I don’t think he even slightly suspects this move that will essentially fuck him.
Am I just being an asshole for this? What’s the best way to “break up” with a roommate.
The breakup part of this isn’t going to be an easy conversation and I’m so thankful the often-uncomfortable reality that is having a roommate is something I never have to deal with again. Sheesh.
You will be an asshole if you don’t give this “dirty cheapass” some notice. Explaining that you won’t be living with him anymore is business. It’s not always fun, but stuff like this is absolutely necessary. You have to do it. Give him a month to figure out his next move. Don’t be an asshole.
To whom it may concern,
I have a question for you and the commenters of PGP. I just turned 26 years old last month. I’m not big on talking income/money with my friends, but I can’t find any reliable statistics to answer this question I have and it’s killing me.
I’ll break it down real quick. I’m not saving for a house, a car, or any other large purchase currently. I have about $5,000 in a personal savings account and about double that stashed in my 401K. I don’t have any debt except what I owe on my car. Do other people at age 26 have more than this put away already, or is it about the same? I feel like I have no money at all compared to other people my age.
Should I be worried? Should I be upping how much (currently 25% per paycheck) I’m saving?
Dude, you’re killing it. If you’re actually putting away 25% of your paycheck, I’d imagine that places you squarely in the top 1% of savers for people your age. That’s amazing, so be proud. Hopefully a lot of that is going to your 401k.
Perception is rarely reality regarding how much the people around us are making. Seeing your buddy spending money at the bars, on new clothes, trips, cars, etc. doesn’t mean he’s flush with cash. I’ve lived paycheck to paycheck before while putting off the vibe that I had fun money to blow, and I’m sure others around me were doing the same. It’s doable. Also, debt is very real, and almost everyone around you is carrying some of it..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
Respond
Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
@dcheverere
@dcheverere
RogerJDorn
Question: Would you listen to a Mailbag podcast?
Answer: Depends who’s onnit.
Me and _____
Literally anyone but Jared.
booo i love jared
I know Ross is the big favorite here but honestly, the dude’s absolutely strapped with pods right now and I would hate for him to get burnt out. I’d enjoy Ross but I’d also like to hear from someone without a lot of exposure, and a duo that isn’t currently a pod couple. I think Barrett would also be a good pick-I love hearing from him on TB and he does a great job on Oysters
Barrett is a good choice
Ross
Madison. I’m tired of that no show back office slouch. We’re the clients and we need a meeting with the principal every once in a while.
Best,
-JG
You and rotating cast of who ever is available. I’ve yet to find a grandex pod where I don’t enjoy everyone involved. Mix of responses for what could possibly be redundant questions or situations.
I loved DDB, but due to what you mentioned here, it became redundant with the same 3 guys answering the same questions from listeners entering the job market.
Ross Bolen.
Me.
SECOND
You and a rotating guest. Maybe some less public facing people in the office that yall think would be good for an advice pod.
Joe Rogan
*ding*
1. Dave 2. Micah 3. Will
Yes! Dave!
Dave
Micah
Ross, Dave, or T-T-T-T-T-Man
Here for it, but always letters not voicemails. “Dear Dillon” like a newspaper.
What about an intern or someone in the just out of college age range? Would be kinda cool to hear perspectives from people at two different stages in life. Or a female perspective would be fun as well.
I have similar thoughts
If you want a female, I’m your girl. East coaster, currently living in CO, moving to ATX at the end of this month! 🙂
Honestly, probably not. Some of these entries are long enough that hearing someone read them out loud would just drone on and on. I like being able to just read them.
This column wouldn’t go away
As long as anybody buy Micah is reading the entries. No offense, but the guy isn’t exactly great at reading out loud.
that’s fair
As long as the column doesn’t go away. I love your answers, but I also really enjoy the input everyone else gives and the conversations that spark. It’s a nice little community.
Yeah, ok now I am sold. Yes I would
I always love this column, though I will say that a big part is always the discussion here in the comments. I would love to hear multiple perspectives, as well as yours (which is consistently very good by the way).
I made an account just to say yes you should!
Last In First Out the party. Look at you, bein all fancy.
Would definitely listen to you, Will and Dave tackle one or two of these on a Touching Base ep sort of like how some of Will’s Worst Weekend stories get brought up from time to time.
As long as it doesn’t take away from the number of submissions in this column. Not sure if you include everything you get every week or not but if you have excess questions then I’d for sure listen
I like the idea, but all these people saying throw ross or dave on it are wrong. I love the three of you – but that’s why I listen to touching base and RBP! You could take the lead and bring on someone from a little more left field. There are a bunch of grandex people who are on more targeted podcasts (supps dawg, occ, famf, ddb(rip), etc) that could be interesting on a more general purpose podcast like this. If you are going to put in the time to make a completely new “general purpose” podcast, don’t just make it a rehash of RBP/TB. just my two cents anyway
There is a lack of female hosts on the grandex pods. It would be really cool to see a woman co host and would add a unique aspect to answering the questions.
Dave
Absolutely
Please make this a thing
Dorn+Madison+GUEST+Produced by Intern
Micah
Please no.
Fuckkkkkkkk that girl who told the guy that she would be humiliated if any of her friends saw him longboarding
My ex used try to force me to go into my Facebook profile settings and such to unlike posts that I had liked relating to all manor of things (moderate politics, finance, historical references) nothing weird or gross though. It made me resent being around them and long story short it’s a big reason we don’t date anymore. Don’t let someone dictate how you live your life is the moral here.
Roommate Guy: “We’d like to invite you to not live with us any more” seemed to work well in Bridesmaids….
To the money guy: I’m actually a huge proponent of talking salary with your friends/peers, especially if they’re in similar fields. Not to brag, but just as a gut check to gauge your own worth. I’ve realized that a lot of my friends/coworkers undervalue themselves and by opening up the floor for discussion on a traditionally taboo topic it can help people be a lot more comfortable and confident walking into salary/raise negotiations. Just my two cents.
This. Also, people aren’t going to *judge* you for making less than them. When I hear someone say they can’t go out to bars some night or join in on a trip because they’re trying to save – I think highly of them.
I feel there’s certain people you can talk about salary with and some you can’t
Well yeah as with every conversation use your judgment.
I do the same thing with my friends as well for the same reasons. I tend to see my female friends undervalue themselves more than my male friends.
I also talk salary with close friends. I love helping friends think through how to negotiate for a salary in a new job.
For the hair girl and the long boarding guy, confidence is everything. Own that shit and if people don’t like it, they’re not worth it
I’m sorry but longboard guy…no age is cool to ride one. Razr Scooters are awesome though.
I’m also sorry but if you’re dating the guy “not into monogamy” he basically has a great excuse to sleep with other people and they say it’s based on his “beliefs”
I might be in the minority here, but if you confidently rock that baldness it can be super sexy
Roommate guy, don’t be as shitty as he is by not giving him a heads up. Being a better person allows you to continue talking shit about another person with a clear conscious
Savings guy. Don’t stress. At least in my experience, savings go up and down depending on where you’re at in life. As long as you’ve got a little nest egg, you’re good (source: guy who spent a lifetime of savings in about 3 months and I’m still alive)
I enjoy when you answer every submission. More people need to follow this pattern.
-JG
Longboard: I might give you a weird look on the street and then never think about it again. That chick sucks so congrats on cutting your losses.
1 chick/1 dick: If you want exclusivity, sounds like this dude isn’t for you. Good luck out there.
Buzz lady: Dill’s advice is solid. A witty allusion is solid, something like “I’m bald all over”.
Dirty Cheap Ass: Ditch that dude. Give him notice but tell him why too. If he is at least a friend, it could actually help him out to change it.
Super saver: keep doing your own thing. You’re doing fine. Worrying about the people around you and seeing friends doing great or doing stuff you’re not is tough and a struggle but I promise you’ll feel better if you focus on just doing you.
Personal finance guy: how long have you been working at your current salary range and how long have you been putting money into savings/401k? Because if you just finished grad school and started a job, that’s great, but if you’ve been working for 4-5 years, $5,000 of savings and double that in 401k is actually pretty low. It’s hard to gauge your financial standing because we don’t know where you live or how much your monthly expenses are (are you spending $200/month or $400/month on your car? What’s your car loan interest rate?).
As Desk Jockey mentioned, 3-6 months’ living expenses in your savings is a must and a good indicator of your standing. Also, if not already, I’d suggest making Roth (post-tax) contributions to your 401k so that your future growth and withdrawals will be tax-free.
Agree with this. Save 3-6 months of pay / living expenses for an emergency fund. Contribute enough to get full 401(k) contribution (free money) from employer if they offer that. Then max out the Roth IRA contributions ($5,500), 401(k) contributions ($18,500), and don’t sleep on an HSA ($3,450). With an HSA, you can invest those funds once it gets over $5K and can withdraw tax-free for qualified expenses, or down the road.
Then put whatever else you have into a savings account or regular brokerage account, cuz in 5-10 years we goin’ in on a lakehouse and pontoon with Brian. Investors? Possibly you!
This also assumes you don’t have (much) debt, especially high interest debt (talkin credit cards)
Okay but isn’t there a difference between what you SHOULD have and what other people your age actually DO have? I don’t know many 26-year-olds who aren’t living paycheck-to-paycheck, putting way less than 25% away. (NYC for reference.)
Just because a bunch of people do something that’s wrong doesn’t mean that you’re fine if you also keep doing the same thing. If someone were to tell me that the median 26 year-old with 5 years’ experience making the median US salary (around $50,000) has $5,000 in their savings, I would say that the median 26 year-old is screwing up because that means he or she is only saving $1,000 per year.
The point is, we simply don’t know enough about the person to qualify his financial well being. We need to know his salary, his monthly expenses, where he lives, etc. Having $5,000 in savings can be fine or it can be bad.
Okay sure, but no doctor would recommend 8 drinks a week but probably most of us on this site consume more than that. It’s two different questions.
Yeah but no one here’s asking if consuming more than 8 drinks a week is bad for you; we all know it is.
Your example is more akin to walking into the doctor’s office for a check up, only to find out that you’re overweight and your ALT levels are abnormal. The doctor’s going to tell you that you’re drinking too much and to quit. Pointing to all the other 26 year olds and saying “but they do it too!” isn’t going to make your body any healthier.
You make a fair point but “Do other people at age 26 have more than this put away already?” is literally what he’s asking
We’re bros.
Need to do a PGP finances poddy.
Unfortunately, you’re already good by not having debt.
Came here to say this. Save and invest. I’m also 26 and have been working for 5 years. Lived at home for as long as possible (my mom sold the house to get me out) I’ve gone “homeless” and couch surfed for periods since then in order to save more. My college was federally funded and I had less than 10k in debt when I graduated. I paid that off asap and I just cracked 100k of savings in my house buying fund. That doesn’t include 401k or a 6 month emergency fund. Set goals and work towards them!
So your mom kicked you out of the house and now you mooch off your friends couches (who are actually paying rent) so you can continue the ultimate cheapass lifestyle at age 26? Yikes
If you go to sea for half the year it doesn’t always make sense to pay for an apartment that you’ll sleep in maybe 25% of the year. So yeah I spent some time on my friends couches. They actually like me and want me to be there because they don’t get to see me that much. They don’t have to pay for drinks or dinner. There is a difference between cheap and frugal so just @ me next time.
There are leases out there that range from 2 – 15 months.
Not saying that you don’t have a great savings account, but it’s pretty annoying to hear a pep talk about how much you’ve saved when you’ve been essentially mooching your entire adult life. And putting your mom into such an uncomfortable position that she had to sell her house is a straight up garbage move.
Dude that’s really really fucking impressive.
26 year old money bags: for comparison, I’m 26 and have $30 in my savings account currently (although I am contributing to my 401k). Granted I’m paying off a lot of debt right now before I go back to finish my last year of JD school (possibly a terrible choice on my part), but you’re fucking crushing the financial game. From my standpoint, 26 and 27 seem to be the “finally start to figure out how to money” years.
Right there with you on the figuring out how to money part. It sucks that it took this long but feels good when I throw extra at loans / save for something I actually want.
The hardest part of waking up early is getting out of bed. Don’t hit snooze. Get up and grab some preworkout/cold brew.
But what is pre-workout? Someone please explain to me.
Cocaine.
If you take it, work out. If not, you’re gonna have a bad time
I don’t use preworkout so I don’t really know. I know it gets you amped. I don’t think it isn’t very good for you. Coffee works just fine for me.
But more seriously, google “pre-workout.”
I could, and have, but I like hearing some first-hand opinions. Diving head-first into the absolute swamp that is the Google-sphere just to read an article about pre-workout written four years ago by some meathead fitness guru is the last thing I’m interested in doing.
Thats true, sorry for being a smart ass. Pre workout is more or less a high dose age of caffeine/other stimulants. Some don’t like it cause it can make you pretty jittery. If you’re looking for something to help you with energy to lift a lot more/linger weight, preworkout I’d pretty good. If you just need something to wake you up and get you out the door, Costco makes their own brand of 5hr energy shots that are affordable or make cold brew at home if you like it.