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Mailbag: Being A Guy Under 6′ Tall, How Many Sexual Partners You Had In College, And Helping Someone With Addiction

Mailbag

Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co. All topics welcome.

Hey Dorn,

I’ll keep this short and simple – how tall are you? Is it really a deal-breaker if a guy is under 6’0, even if he’s taller than her? I guess if you could speak about your thoughts on the height of a guy in a relationship that would be awesome (I’m 5’8 by the way)

Appreciate it man.

For some girls it really is a major obstacle to overcome, I’m sorry to say.

I think 6’0″ is a fairly high benchmark considering how many guys are under 6 ft. Let’s talk numbers for a second. The average height for a mature man in the United States (one of the tallest countries in the world) is 5’9″.

A man who is 6’0″ tall is right at 82.1 percentile in the U.S. In other words, girls who set a minimum height requirement of 6’0″ are setting the bar THREE INCHES above the average height of a man. Furthermore, they are flat out eliminating 82% (!!!) of men from consideration based on an attribute that has nothing to do with their character.

That’s just unfair.

I had a conversation about this with my ex yesterday, coincidentally. She was telling me about a new guy she’s become interested in and said she’s “really trying to overcome the under 6’0″ thing” since he’s a little bit shorter.

My response: “Dallas, you’re only 5’2”. So yeah, it’s a very real thing, even for some short girls. Again, it’s unfair, which is what I told Dallas. At least she’s trying to overcome it?

I will say that it’s probably best not to go for girls who are taller than you. It just makes for a weird dynamic. That’s kind of the only “rule” I have for myself. Although, there are plenty instances where the girl is taller than the guy and they have no problem with it.

So, not all girls have a height requirement for guys, at least not one that tall. You’ll have to find yourself one of those girls. And for the rest of you girls out there, unless you’re 6’0″ tall yourself, shame on you.

I’m 6’1″ by the way.

Dillon,

This is kind of a personal question. Don’t feel obligated to share your personal story – but seeing as you went through the college/fraternity life, I was hoping you could give a rough snapshot on average. How many different girls does a typical college guy normally sleep with throughout his 4 years? I’m a grad student and I’ve spent so much time studying for the CPA exam and working on my grades I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot – but at the same time, I feel like a lot of the stories of people literally getting a different girl each night are exaggerated. I know lots of guys hang out with girls all the time, but how often does the deal really close?

Thanks!

I lived a very atypical college/fraternity experience regarding the ladies. I wouldn’t recommend the route I took to anyone, but I had a girlfriend at Baylor (long distance) throughout most of my collegiate life. She was my high school turned college girlfriend, and yes, I was faithful to her.

A typical guy in college, however, probably sleeps with 7-10 girls during his four or five years. Is that about right? That’s basically two a year. It could be higher, honestly, but I’ll stick with 7-10.

No one is hooking up with a different girl every night of the week and Wilt Chamberlain-ing his way through undergrad, but there are absolutely a handful of guys out there who hit triple digits before walking across that stage. For every college guy like I was, there’s one on the opposite end of the spectrum who makes his way through a mountain of college trim and has taken his fair share of penicillin shots.

There’s nothing wrong with being studious in lieu of partying, though.

Dilly Dilly,

No real question other than how was your experience at the Turnpike concert? Evan and Co put on one hell of a show (especially if he isn’t forgetting his lyrics). Definitely one of my favorite live acts and hope they keep kicking ass.

Real talk, didn’t know you were a TT fan. For what it matters, you just eclipsed Dave and Todd Will as my favorite podcast DJ.

Turnpike was awesome. They’re my favorite Red Dirt band and it was my first time seeing them live (I’m not a concert guy). That kind of venue — not huge, seat backs, stadium seating — is one I’ll fuck with. It’s standing in a mob of drunk morons singing along to every word that makes me hate going to concerts.

I’ve heard a lot about Evan routinely getting so drunk before shows that he forgets lyrics and generally performs like shit, but he was great on Saturday night. Lowkey I wanted to witness that side of him, though. I would recommend going to see Turnpike Troubadours to anyone.

I’m not sure why you think I’m a Texas Tech fan but I most definitely am not; I’m a Texas fan. My friend with whom I attended the concert, Kimberly, went to Tech, though. Also, I lost her at the end of the night. Fun times.

Hey Dilly Dilly,

Question for ya regarding planned birthday parties for post grad adults. A married couple (ages 31 and 26) was planning a joint birthday party for both of them at a karaoke place that you rent out the private room for a period of time. The couple created the Facebook event, made the reservation for the room, etc and about 15 – 20 people attended, some brought presents, some bought rounds of drinks, etc. Event was fun and people showed up when they could and left when they needed to; good times all around.

Then at the end of the night about 7 people were left and as we were walking out, the room still hadn’t been paid for and the birthday couple looked around at the remaining 5 of us to see who was gonna be paying for the room. Almost like “well it’s our birthdays, you guys should pay for this.” Tab was about $200 plus tip for just the room and many of the remaining attendees had brought presents or bought the previous mentioned drinks.

My question is, is this just flat out wrong or should we, the attendees, have expected to foot the bill? My thinking is if someone else planned it and invited the couple to an event for them, the person planning would have figured out payment ahead of time. (When we were kids, I don’t think other parents paid for our birthday parties at bowling alleys, laser tag, etc. our parents did!) . But I was always taught the person extending the invite is the one who pays. Thinking as a joint couple they invited us to their event so they should have covered the room or at least told us ahead that the room wasn’t paid for and we would all be pitching in. It created a super awkward situation that was a cheap cop out.

Your thoughts? Appreciate it.

Hahahaha whatttttt? A married couple planned their own joint birthday party, one that required the rental of a venue, and they expected their attendees/guests to pay for it without prior notice? This would make for a fantastic Curb Your Enthusiasm episode, and it’s one in which Larry would come absolutely unglued at the party hosts.

What a joke these two are. Drop them. I’m serious. They don’t deserve your friendship anymore. Total morons with zero sense social decency.

The trade-off, for anyone who’s attended an adult birthday celebration literally ever, is guests will buy some drinks for the birthday boy/girl/couple or bring a bottle of wine with a bow on it, and that’s it.

Hey Dillon,

Is it a red flag if someone doesn’t save my number in their phone after a few dates? What are the rules around this. Is there a date # threshold?

I had a glance at this dude’s phone and he still just had my digits with no name.

The date threshold is before date one, I’m pretty sure. If I get a new number that I know I’ll be using in the future, I’m adding a new contact every time, and I think this is how 99% of people operate. I don’t know if it’s much of a deal-breaker type situation but it’s pretty weird. Maybe he’s just really lazy, or maybe it’s a sign of him being shady. I don’t really know. Weird, indeed.

Hey Dillon,

The boyfriend and I have been together a while now and I’m ridiculously in love with this dude. We’ve talked about our futures and we’re both in this for the long haul. My problem? He smokes. Like a fucking chimney. Like a pack a day.

It’s a disgusting, expensive habit. Even worse, I lost my grandma to lung cancer and have seen first hand how brutally it destroys a person. I cant watch someone I care about go through that again.

So how do I help him kick this habit? I don’t want to throw out an ultimatum right away. I’m also worried that if it comes time to make the call because he won’t quit, I won’t be able to leave even though I know how devastating it will get down the road. And honestly I’m terrified to tell him that, because despite how much we love each other, overcoming addiction is no joke. Do you or any of the awesome PGP readers have advice on how to quit smoking and how I can help him?

Yeah I’d keep the ultimatum in your back pocket and only use it as a last resort. But a threat from someone you love carries a lot of weight, and it’s worked plenty times before.

Readers, help her out. I have no experience with addiction or helping someone overcome it, so I can’t help too much here. I know you’ll get some good advice below, however. Good luck to you.

___

The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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