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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co. All topics welcome.
Hey Dorn,
I’ll keep this short and simple – how tall are you? Is it really a deal-breaker if a guy is under 6’0, even if he’s taller than her? I guess if you could speak about your thoughts on the height of a guy in a relationship that would be awesome (I’m 5’8 by the way)
Appreciate it man.
For some girls it really is a major obstacle to overcome, I’m sorry to say.
I think 6’0″ is a fairly high benchmark considering how many guys are under 6 ft. Let’s talk numbers for a second. The average height for a mature man in the United States (one of the tallest countries in the world) is 5’9″.
A man who is 6’0″ tall is right at 82.1 percentile in the U.S. In other words, girls who set a minimum height requirement of 6’0″ are setting the bar THREE INCHES above the average height of a man. Furthermore, they are flat out eliminating 82% (!!!) of men from consideration based on an attribute that has nothing to do with their character.
That’s just unfair.
I had a conversation about this with my ex yesterday, coincidentally. She was telling me about a new guy she’s become interested in and said she’s “really trying to overcome the under 6’0″ thing” since he’s a little bit shorter.
My response: “Dallas, you’re only 5’2”. So yeah, it’s a very real thing, even for some short girls. Again, it’s unfair, which is what I told Dallas. At least she’s trying to overcome it?
I will say that it’s probably best not to go for girls who are taller than you. It just makes for a weird dynamic. That’s kind of the only “rule” I have for myself. Although, there are plenty instances where the girl is taller than the guy and they have no problem with it.
So, not all girls have a height requirement for guys, at least not one that tall. You’ll have to find yourself one of those girls. And for the rest of you girls out there, unless you’re 6’0″ tall yourself, shame on you.
I’m 6’1″ by the way.
Dillon,
This is kind of a personal question. Don’t feel obligated to share your personal story – but seeing as you went through the college/fraternity life, I was hoping you could give a rough snapshot on average. How many different girls does a typical college guy normally sleep with throughout his 4 years? I’m a grad student and I’ve spent so much time studying for the CPA exam and working on my grades I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot – but at the same time, I feel like a lot of the stories of people literally getting a different girl each night are exaggerated. I know lots of guys hang out with girls all the time, but how often does the deal really close?
Thanks!
I lived a very atypical college/fraternity experience regarding the ladies. I wouldn’t recommend the route I took to anyone, but I had a girlfriend at Baylor (long distance) throughout most of my collegiate life. She was my high school turned college girlfriend, and yes, I was faithful to her.
A typical guy in college, however, probably sleeps with 7-10 girls during his four or five years. Is that about right? That’s basically two a year. It could be higher, honestly, but I’ll stick with 7-10.
No one is hooking up with a different girl every night of the week and Wilt Chamberlain-ing his way through undergrad, but there are absolutely a handful of guys out there who hit triple digits before walking across that stage. For every college guy like I was, there’s one on the opposite end of the spectrum who makes his way through a mountain of college trim and has taken his fair share of penicillin shots.
There’s nothing wrong with being studious in lieu of partying, though.
Dilly Dilly,
No real question other than how was your experience at the Turnpike concert? Evan and Co put on one hell of a show (especially if he isn’t forgetting his lyrics). Definitely one of my favorite live acts and hope they keep kicking ass.
Real talk, didn’t know you were a TT fan. For what it matters, you just eclipsed Dave and Todd Will as my favorite podcast DJ.
Turnpike was awesome. They’re my favorite Red Dirt band and it was my first time seeing them live (I’m not a concert guy). That kind of venue — not huge, seat backs, stadium seating — is one I’ll fuck with. It’s standing in a mob of drunk morons singing along to every word that makes me hate going to concerts.
I’ve heard a lot about Evan routinely getting so drunk before shows that he forgets lyrics and generally performs like shit, but he was great on Saturday night. Lowkey I wanted to witness that side of him, though. I would recommend going to see Turnpike Troubadours to anyone.
I’m not sure why you think I’m a Texas Tech fan but I most definitely am not; I’m a Texas fan. My friend with whom I attended the concert, Kimberly, went to Tech, though. Also, I lost her at the end of the night. Fun times.
Hey Dilly Dilly,
Question for ya regarding planned birthday parties for post grad adults. A married couple (ages 31 and 26) was planning a joint birthday party for both of them at a karaoke place that you rent out the private room for a period of time. The couple created the Facebook event, made the reservation for the room, etc and about 15 – 20 people attended, some brought presents, some bought rounds of drinks, etc. Event was fun and people showed up when they could and left when they needed to; good times all around.
Then at the end of the night about 7 people were left and as we were walking out, the room still hadn’t been paid for and the birthday couple looked around at the remaining 5 of us to see who was gonna be paying for the room. Almost like “well it’s our birthdays, you guys should pay for this.” Tab was about $200 plus tip for just the room and many of the remaining attendees had brought presents or bought the previous mentioned drinks.
My question is, is this just flat out wrong or should we, the attendees, have expected to foot the bill? My thinking is if someone else planned it and invited the couple to an event for them, the person planning would have figured out payment ahead of time. (When we were kids, I don’t think other parents paid for our birthday parties at bowling alleys, laser tag, etc. our parents did!) . But I was always taught the person extending the invite is the one who pays. Thinking as a joint couple they invited us to their event so they should have covered the room or at least told us ahead that the room wasn’t paid for and we would all be pitching in. It created a super awkward situation that was a cheap cop out.
Your thoughts? Appreciate it.
Hahahaha whatttttt? A married couple planned their own joint birthday party, one that required the rental of a venue, and they expected their attendees/guests to pay for it without prior notice? This would make for a fantastic Curb Your Enthusiasm episode, and it’s one in which Larry would come absolutely unglued at the party hosts.
What a joke these two are. Drop them. I’m serious. They don’t deserve your friendship anymore. Total morons with zero sense social decency.
The trade-off, for anyone who’s attended an adult birthday celebration literally ever, is guests will buy some drinks for the birthday boy/girl/couple or bring a bottle of wine with a bow on it, and that’s it.
Hey Dillon,
Is it a red flag if someone doesn’t save my number in their phone after a few dates? What are the rules around this. Is there a date # threshold?
I had a glance at this dude’s phone and he still just had my digits with no name.
The date threshold is before date one, I’m pretty sure. If I get a new number that I know I’ll be using in the future, I’m adding a new contact every time, and I think this is how 99% of people operate. I don’t know if it’s much of a deal-breaker type situation but it’s pretty weird. Maybe he’s just really lazy, or maybe it’s a sign of him being shady. I don’t really know. Weird, indeed.
Hey Dillon,
The boyfriend and I have been together a while now and I’m ridiculously in love with this dude. We’ve talked about our futures and we’re both in this for the long haul. My problem? He smokes. Like a fucking chimney. Like a pack a day.
It’s a disgusting, expensive habit. Even worse, I lost my grandma to lung cancer and have seen first hand how brutally it destroys a person. I cant watch someone I care about go through that again.
So how do I help him kick this habit? I don’t want to throw out an ultimatum right away. I’m also worried that if it comes time to make the call because he won’t quit, I won’t be able to leave even though I know how devastating it will get down the road. And honestly I’m terrified to tell him that, because despite how much we love each other, overcoming addiction is no joke. Do you or any of the awesome PGP readers have advice on how to quit smoking and how I can help him?
Yeah I’d keep the ultimatum in your back pocket and only use it as a last resort. But a threat from someone you love carries a lot of weight, and it’s worked plenty times before.
Readers, help her out. I have no experience with addiction or helping someone overcome it, so I can’t help too much here. I know you’ll get some good advice below, however. Good luck to you..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
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Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
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RogerJDorn
That married couple is pretttayyyy, pretttayyyy, prettayy stingy
Hey lady dating the smoker….I guarantee if when he kisses you during sex you just go “ew” and get out of bed mid sex, he’ll never smoke another cigarette again
As some who “doesn’t smoke”, Doing something like this is a good move, maybe not mid sex though. A few things that can help him slowly kick the habit is
-Make a comment after kissing him and he has smoked. He might try and wait to smoke until after he sees you.
-If he’s sleeping over ask him to shower before bed because you’re tired of constantly washing your bedding because it stinks
-don’t allow smoking in your car
Love that within 10 minutes of meeting you, Drunk Cartographer, you were smoking a cigarette in the back seat of my car as I drove you to Oktoberfest
I still have an ashtray full of cig butts on my patio from the last time Drunk Cartographer came over to drink.
I don’t smoke, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
So glad you know not to smoke in my car.
I am going to rip so many heaters on the way to dinner tonight in your car, bitch. Speaking of, may I get a ride? I will buy you one (1) shot of tequila.
As long as it’s still raining you can get a ride, otherwise it’s 5 minutes from your apartment. Tequila is the special tonight, so shots are already a given.
ANSWER MY TEXTS, HOE. Side note: is getting fucked up on cheap tequila and Ethiopian food on a Tuesday the greatest idea we’ve ever had?
I was under the impression that there was no such thing as Ethiopian food.
Fuck I’m going to hell for that one.
Yeah I thought that’s why there was so many “for pennies a day you can feed this child” commercials
Who the fuck gets Ethiopian food any day of the week? (Fully support the tequila move tho)
PS @UnderwritingMyLife: pls ignore her texts forever
“Who the fuck gets Ethiopian food any day of the week?”
I will fight you.
I try to, you know this. I’ll probably ghost her tonight. First time getting Ethiopian, so we’ll see. I might bitch out and order Indian.
Ghost me, papí. And so help me god, if you bitch out and don’t take sixty nine (69) shots of tequila with me, I will delete you from life
Nice
I keep trying to get IWishIWasSober to sup you for me, but she keeps refusing. So sup? I miss you.
Ethiopian food is delicious – don’t wuss out and miss out.
This was a fun thread to read
Wow, that escalated quickly.
I would suggest making him aware of how much he is actually spending on cigarettes. If you’re saying he smokes a pack a day everyday that shit is definitely adding up. I would show him per week, month and year. It could end up being a couple thousand at the end of the year and you could’ve gone on a cool trip to somewhere he loves instead.
I tried this method to convince myself to stop getting Starbucks and start making coffee at home. Not effective.
downloading the mobile order app ended any hope for me. The 2:30 iced espresso is just too easy now
This is will have little to zero influence on his decision to stop smoking.
Former dipper here
It’s not going to be easy. For me the first step was realizing that I wanted to quit. This can come from a myriad of factors. If he has family see what they have to say about it (my sisters were a big influence). Be patient with him, quitting will take time and there will be stumbling blocks.
Any tips on quitting dip? I’ve tried 3-4 times in the past 10 years (dipper since i was 15, unfortunately)
Pavlov yourself. Open can and take a big sniff. Immediately take a pinch and swallow the whole thing. Throw up. Repeat until you can’t open a can without getting sick. Problem solved.
I quit cold turkey after 5/6 years of dipping everyday and anytime I got a craving I threw in a piece of gum to keep my mouth busy.
i did the fake shit to quit. a few people in my fam and my fiance had been, well not really hassling me, but just saying i should think about it. got hella sick one week, throwing up and such and didnt/couldnt dip for three days, so i decided to go for it. dip the fake shit when the cravings are bad. you wont want to dip the fake shit all the time like you will a real dip, so pretty soon you’ll stop buying the fake shit too. i’ve been off the real stuff since july, and havent bought a can of fake dip since early sept. i’ve had a craving hit a few times in the deer stand lately, but not being able to get one right then, it passes by the time i climb down.
Nicorette gum (yeah, I know it’s for smokers) helped me quit dipping. That and a whole fuckload of regular gum. Something about that just brushed clean feeling while still getting a little nicotine edge helped me kick the habit after about a dozen failed attempts in as many years. There’s also fake chew, but I have mixed feelings about that stuff – just as bad for your teeth
If you really want to quit forever, I have a full-proof method. It will most likely require an entire weekend, but ultimately it’s worth it. Once your calendar is clear, make sure you have plenty of water, oatmeal, [legal] cannabis, and whatever sports drink you like. Also, grab your final two cans of chew – preferably pouches. You may only need one can, but could go through two if you’re used to long-cut.
A couple of hours after dinner, start with two pouches. Wait 30 minutes after spitting them out, and put in four more. Once those are done, four more, and so on until you finish the can. Sometimes you will only want to leave them in for five minutes, but just keep spitting.
Next comes puking, but remember, It will only be temporary!
You will feel really sick for the next day or so, but you will be fine since you’ve prepared for this.
Once you complete this, just the smell of tobacco will make you nauseous.
It may not be pretty, but it works.
For me I gradually switched over to leaf (Redman, Beechnut, etc.) And just worked my way down from there
Switch to snus. The nicotine load is much less and it’s better for your oral health. The oral fixation is still serviced, but it’s less of a load. After a month with those, gradually lessen your intake until you aren’t dependant on the nicotine. And start chewing gum all the time.
The “Micah Method” worked for a co-worker of mine, and getting him to quit is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever accomplished.
I used sunflower seeds to help me. Dipped for 10+ years and quit cold turkey. I ran out one day and when I went to the gas station to get more decided I wanted to quit and bought seeds instead. Anytime I would crave a dip I would throw in a few seeds.
As someone else who used to dip I just decided one day that I wanted to quit and keep my teeth. It’s been about two months since I last put one in and can’t say I miss it at all.
That’s my problem, I already destroyed my teeth and got some high end aftermarket teeth so now that’s not a motivating factor for me.
I quit while I was on a drilling rig. If I can do it while amongst the roustabouts and roughnecks anyone can. I’m with Jim, one day I noticed my teeth were shifting and I stopped. I think it has to be different for each person. Each person had their different ticks. I was a sunflower seeds on roadtrips and upped my coffee intakes on my hitches. Now I can go for hours and not need a dip. I miss it and the cravings are still around but I haven’t bought a can…in about a year. I now bum at baseball games and dove hunting but that’s it man. Try slowly tapering off and then stop. It sucks but stay strong man.
I used mints and the nicotine mints to quit worked fairly well until I started working with people that dipped all the time
Shoot, accidentally clicked meh instead of reply. whoops
I found that the first week or two I went through probably 2 of those big containers of Orbit gum because I’d chew that driving to and from work and when I would usually dip. After 2 or 3 weeks I found myself wanting it less and less.
I saw a leaked photo of your drivers license and it actually said 6’0 on it, Dilly
It has always been interesting to me that it is socially acceptable for a girl to say “I won’t date a guy who isn’t tall,” but if a guy says, “I’m not attracted to overweight girls,” he is a monster.
Which is ridiculous because a person can control weight, you can’t control height.
A couple of things here..
Holy shit sleeping with 7-10 people throughout college? I was aggressively past that.
Secondly, I don’t save people’s number in my phone usually until after the first date. It’s mostly just because I have a very bad problem with drunk texting and don’t want to accidentally drunk text them prior to our date.
Congrats on the aggressively past that sex
“I was aggressively past that.” And that’s okay!
Agreed, 7-10 is very much on the low end…
Sup?
I feel like the only time it is appropriate for partygoers to foot the bill is the bachelor/bachelorette party.
Agreed, but even then, they aren’t planning them themselves.
Just get him into the e-cig game, I heard juuls are legit on some podcast earlier today
Meant TT for Turnpike Troubadours, Dill. Did attend Tech though which had me genuinely confused.
HOW did I miss that connection?
Typing that up, I thought it was pretty straightforward?
Shouts to Kimberly.
At a towering 5’11, I will tell girls I’m 6′. Trust me, they don’t know the difference.
as a 6’0 girl, WE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
Yeah, but I’m shooting for that 5’2-5’9.5″ range. I mean, if you’re into shorter guys…sup?
Well yeah, but you’re in the 99.9 percentile for height as a woman. I’d say the odds are in his favor for getting away with it.
Can confirm.
“that’s a huge bitch”
Honestly, this is true if you’re under like 5’7″. My best friend’s boyfriend is definitely 5’11” but he told her he’s 6’2″. She’s 5’4″ so she believed him. I’m 5’8″ and he is not more than a few inches taller than me.
Problem with that is in this day and age if you hook up with her then she creeps your wallet the next morning and sees you’re actually 5’11, she can get you with sexual assault, brother
Fun fact: They don’t measure you at the Minnesota DMV.
We definitely know the difference. I’m 5’7 and if I wear my favorite heels I’m 5’11. So yes I would notice if I was exactly the same height as you. And then you just look bad for lying.
If you can’t handle your business in the low post, being 6 feet tall don’t mean shit