Less Is More When You’re Trying To Get A Promotion

Less Is More When You're Trying To Get A Promotion

I was never supposed to hold the position that I currently do at my job. In the beginning, when I naively applied for the promotion thinking it sounded easy and might be fun, it was a two-part job that would be taken on by me and one other person. I was chosen as one of them, and that was all fine and great until the other person left for an easier job at a different company three days later. That left me, just me, to make the position originally designed for a pair work for one person. I shrugged and I made it happen, because what else was I going to do? It seemed like more work to bitch about it than it to just take care of business.

From that point, due to the way the company has grown, I’m now in charge of managing everyone in the office except my direct supervisor. Managing people has never been something that I wanted to do; I’m very laid back, basically couldn’t be bothered to give two shits about things that the other managers pulled their hair out over, and I’d rather see my employees happy and out by three on a Friday than pretending to work for two more hours.

In short, I’m a great manager because I don’t care. I never wanted to be put into the position I am, and before y’all skewer me for humble-bragging, let me clarify that I make shit money and while the experience I’m gaining is valuable, basically nothing else I do here matters. Because I’m not a shareholder or a partner, or someone who gives a shit, I’m always in my employees’ corner. I couldn’t care less about a client being happy or not because the people who work under me are awesome and I’ll back them over an upset client any day. Does that make me a bad investment to promote any higher? Probably. But as a result, my employees are way more likely to be honest with me with issues or dish to me about workplace gossip because I can keep my damn mouth shut and they know they can trust me to be on their side. It makes them actually want to do their best work because they have a manager that cares about them more than they care about profit margins. That could never be accomplished if my only focus was getting ahead.

I’m honest with my bosses because I’m not trying to kiss ass. People who are desperate to be promoted have a sort of stink that settles over them and their too-wide, deranged eyes. You can smell the stench of desire to be in charge of people, to be able to yell at them and tell them what to do, and I can always spot this motherfucker. They’re the worst kind of boss, and they’re the ones who are most often promoted because they want it more than they want to breathe. A boss who lives to literally boss people around is the worst kind of person, and there are way too many of them in the workplace.

When I first got this job, I kept my head down and my mouth shut. I didn’t even think about moving up until I knew my shit backwards and forwards. Now, I interview people who immediately ask about advancement opportunities with that gleam in their eyes I spoke about earlier. Mind you, these are people who have not even been hired yet. Being ambitious is great, but when you can tell you’re interviewing someone who is already trying to take your job, it’s a little off-putting. Take it from me: care less, not more. That’s your real key to getting somewhere without everyone hating your guts. Just don’t care too little. That’s how people end up unemployed.

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Rory Gilmore

Rory Gilmore on the outside. Emily Gilmore on the inside. Email me funny shit at

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