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I don’t think I’m telling tales out of school when I say that the great American hope, Jordan Spieth, is getting a little thin up top. Young Spieth’s hairline announced itself to the world after his Masters win in April:
Jordan Spieth hair assessment: CRITICAL CONDITION pic.twitter.com/7us2TTC2Ql
— Tim Ryan (@TheSportsHernia) April 10, 2015
Naturally, noted comedic icon and golfing enthusiast, Larry David, chimed in on Jordan’s ticking time bomb of a hairline in this month’s Golf Digest:
He’s going to be a bald man. He’s going to be wildly bald. This makes him way more appealing to me. It’s one thing to handle the pressure of the back nine at Augusta; let’s see how he does when he sees all that hair in the tub. That’s pressure. I’ll be watching him very carefully. He’s 22. He’s got three years, maybe four. He’s done.
Wildly bald? My goodness.
While this may seem harsh, there’s a comradery amongst those that have less than desirable follicles, and David is probably sincere about his affinity for the Great Spieth. Once you hit 30, jokes about your hairline are a dime-a-dozen. You just have to take it in stride.
Personally, I knew the writing was on the wall for Jordan when he was still a freshman at the University of Texas. It immediately skyrocketed him to the top of my proprietary “Golfers I’ll Obnoxiously Root For” rankings. The secret was out.
This image is from a Longhorn Network interview in December 2012. While he does have some semblance of a hairline, you’ll notice that he’s already borrowing hair from the side and back to cover up those power alleys. It’s a classic pre-maturely balding move. I’m very familiar. It makes wearing a hat problematic because anytime you’re forced to take it off, like when you finish a round of golf, those power alleys go ass-up for the entire world to see. There’s just not much you can do. That’s why Jordan’s first move after removing his hat is always to cover those bad boys up. He hasn’t fully embraced it yet.
It remains to be seen how Jordan will handle this. Will he go full blown Walter White and embrace the look like many on the Tour (Kuch, Furyk) have? Or will he partake in a free consultation with a hair loss clinic and pull the trigger on some non-invasive plugs? Didn’t Tom Brady do that? I think it worked out okay for him. .
[via Golf Digest]
Image via YouTube
Spieth will have more Majors than hairs in 10 years. And I’ll have neither.
Anyone else read the Larry David quote in a yelling Larry David voice?
that’s the only way to read a Larry David quote.
Spieth, Lebron, Andrew Luck, Drew Brees. The Mount Rushmore of balding athletes is a strong one.
The only thing I’ve got on Spieth is a hairline.