Knowing When To Take Your Foot Off The Gas

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They were in good spirits, scrubbed and combed, clean shirts all. Each foreseeing a night of drink, perhaps of love. How many youths have come home cold and dead from just such nights and just such plans.

― Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West

Recently, someone I called a good friend passed away in a tragic accident while vacationing with his wife and her family. We hadn’t spoken since college, but he was one of those guys that if you saw him years later the smiles would be wide and the conversation would be natural and genuine. He was someone who spread good vibes everywhere he went and was full of life and love for it. He was taken too soon, like millions of others. You see, this story, while tragic, is not unique. How many of you have had friends, family, or even just people you knew taken in the “prime of their lives?” I’m sure everyone has at least one if not a handful. Hell, it seems I hear about another tragic death every single year. What is even more tragic is several of these instances are related to substance abuse. And I’m not always talking about overdosing on some drug you would never try. I’m talking about one too many on a “typical” night out that took a few wrong turns.

I’m just now coming to the terms with the fact I have to be careful out in these streets. I’ve got that bug of wanting to push it to the limits when I party. What a concept for us millennials. I’ve gone out and had a good time countless of occasions with nothing but great memories to show for it, but the hangovers are getting worse and I’ve racked up enough Sunday Scaries esque stories on the flipside to make Will weep like a concerned mother. I’ve also had nights I can count on one hand that were a bit past the Scaries. More like the Sunday Reckonings. Nights that involved some pretty traumatic shit that cost me in terms of ER bills, monetary funds and my mental health. Miraculously I’m relatively unscathed. I’m at the point where I’m counting my drinks, having waters throughout the night, and generally just calling it quits way sooner than I’m naturally inclined to. And if some bad shit happens again, I’d be damn near inclined to just call off the drink altogether.

I should have been doing this all along but humans need to be smacked in the face by life, often more than once, to finally take some steps in the right direction. We all love to commiserate over a good weekend scaries story and feel we are not alone in our ridiculous behavior. It’s often funny and helps us cope with the lives we all live on the weekend. But there is always a small piece of me that gets a little anxious hearing some of these stories. One wrong move and a few wouldn’t be writing in at all.

Not to be a downer or rain on the parade over here, but we aren’t invincible, and that’s okay. Life is hardly what we make it out to be. You see, we assume we are on some level indestructible. We all make decisions every day that assume we will be here well into old age. The jobs we take, the people we date, and most decisions that greatly impact the trajectory of our lives all assume we will follow a path to old age where then we can deal with death, only after we’ve seen all the seasons of life. But not all of us are afforded that luxury. That’s why it’s important to do cliché shit like live in the moment and follow your dreams despite the societal norms. BUT this does not mean getting reckless. We too often mistake living life on our own terms with not caring what our bank account or liver looks like. The patterns that we fall into that are easy and momentarily gratifying are often times keeping us from maximizing our short time here on this rock.

Hedonism has long been my jam in my twenties, but it’s just a hit of happiness, when life could be so much more fulfilling and defined by purpose. I’m still trying to figure all of the aforementioned stuff out. And while the sober scaries are a beast in their own right, it’s still much less harrowing than a hangover induced existential crisis occurring every six days. So I guess what I’m ultimately trying to say is to value all of life. Because there is a lot of it to be lived in between happy hours. You don’t have to be a wet blanket, but maybe you will learn to appreciate the “Mom” or “Dad” of your friend group a bit more. It’s a hard balance to achieve but I think in between brunch dates and calling your parents just to check in we can find it. I’m sure that’s what all those folks who are no longer with us would want. Hold close to the ones you love and live life to the fullest…but don’t forget to take care of yourself, because despite your best efforts to sabotage your health and relationships people still appreciate having ya around..

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ScubaSteve