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Dammit, Ken. You were the hero we needed. In an election season filled with so much rhetoric that makes us threaten to move to Canada, you were a beacon of light. And while it’s never great that a chubby, mustached man is the best thing to come out of a presidential debate, Ken Bone was someone we could all get behind. Because at the end of the day, isn’t it fun to laugh?
Well, turns out that Ken Bone – America’s hero – is kind of creepy just like the rest of us. He did a Reddit AMA (which stands for “Ask Me Anything”) on Thursday night using his real username, StanGibson18, which he was active with before his 15 minutes occurred. Now, I don’t think I’m alone here, but I immediately assume that anyone who uses Reddit on a regular enough basis to have a username probably dips into some pretty weird subreddits. Reddit is like your freshman year in college – a place to experiment, open your eyes to new things, and make mistakes because your parents aren’t watching.
Turns out, Ken Bone did just that. In screenshots taken from Gizmodo, it shows some comments from Ken that went undeleted that he probably would’ve liked to take back. But when you’re so busy doing sponsored Uber tweets like Ken was yesterday, you forget about the little housekeeping details that could come out to haunt you.
Let’s explore.
Trayvon Martin
While I won’t back his views on Trayvon Martin being ‘justified,’ I will back his use of ‘media fuckery.’
Girls, Girls, Girls
Ken also took his commenting to the less political side of things: women. Reddit is known for having a robust collection of porn accumulated by its users, and Ken was not averse to this. Whether it was RealGirls, bodyperfection, or PreggoPorn (Dammit, Ken), he still commented.
Hey, we all have our vices. Sometimes you have to let your freak flag fly. Like when he talked about his vasectomy.
Vasectomies
Oh, Ken, what do we have here.
Would I have gone with the same terminology you used here? Probably not. But I am happy for you and your wife, Ken. It sounds like your sex life is better than most, and I commend you for that.
Oh, and the terminology I’m talking about here is “bareback.” I wouldn’t have used the word “bareback.”
Insurance Fraud
Not only does Ken have an affinity for the fairer sex, he was also a pizza delivery guy who couldn’t afford car insurance. So what’d he do? He Photoshopped fake insurance documents. And while I’m no lawyer, I’m going to assume this is highly, highly illegal.
The last thing the world needs is a drawn out legal battle between Ken and federal authorities, so hopefully this doesn’t come back to bite him.
But can I at least admit that I don’t like Ken any less than I did before seeing all of this? If anything, it kind of adds layers to the onion we all know and love. .
For more Ken Bone, listen to our most recent episode of Touching Base on iTunes or SoundCloud to hear us discuss him among several other listener questions.
[via Gizmodo]
Image via Twitter
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.
They’re just locker room comments
“I had mine done two years ago. Sexual satisfaction is way up.”
Confirmed: This guy fucks.
Having to commit insurance fraud because you’re too broke. PGP
You missed the best comment!!
“Maybe she [Jennifer Lawrence] should have been more careful with her pics, but the bad guys are still the ones who sought them out and looked at them. By which I mean guys like me. I saw her butt hole. I liked it.”
Living up to your name, Mr. Incredible. I don’t know how something this golden gets overlooked. Get it together DeFries.
Does anyone else automatically read that last sentence to the tune of the Katy Perry song?
still can’t believe this dude is only 34. i thought for sure he was AT LEAST mid-40s.
Dudes who are balding always look older than they are
A certain Legal Counsel would like a word
i think that’s the least of his concerns. the mustache doesn’t help. lol
I’m not saying it’s wrong or judging.
But back in my day the white Power Ranger was a dude.
$5 says he will be a villain by the end of the day for his Trayvon Martin remarks. All the left wing internet users are gonna lose their shit
Fuck em. #IStandWithKBone
Can confirm, shit has been lost.
https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=ken+bone+trayvon+martin&tbm=nws
It’s 10:45am and he still hasn’t deleted any past comments that are “controversial”. I respect that in him. He’s not gonna let the media dictate his beliefs on a matter. Also no fucks for leaving the porn ones up too. Power move.
I started reading that comment and was thinking; “No K Bone! Don’t you do this to me!” But by the end of it, while I don’t agree with him, it’s not that scorching of a take.
To be fair I don’t think this is a right or left issue. Neither party should disapprove more of saying you’re onboard with murdering a kid mostly because you see his race as a threat. Just paints republicans in a bad/racist light.
You can acknowledge that Zimmerman is an awful human whose actions that night killed someone, and that race undoubtedly played a role, while still thinking the case was decided correctly since it essentially came down to whether or not he was within his rights. Not saying I agree or disagree with that take, but he’s not one of those assholes praising Zimmerman or saying Trayvon deserved it
This shouldn’t be controversial even to the outrage police at left-wing outlets. Let K-Bone live his life free of media fuckery
You have a strange definition of murder that only fits your own reality.
Congrats on the sex, Ken.
I’m okay with everything he wrote. That said, commenting on porn is weird. It’s like taking a shit, go in, take care of business, and leave. You don’t stand around discussing it.
“I don’t know, I liked the way his penis curved slightly. Thoughts?”