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Earlier today, I was sent a YouTube video of Kanye West appearing on the season finale of Kris Jenner’s talk show. To be honest, I understand why Yeezy, a dude who typically doesn’t do this type of shit, felt obligated to be a part of what I’m assuming is one of the worst television programs of all time…one of the worst television programs of all time! It’s his baby mama’s mama’s show. Kim probably gave him a bunch of shit, just nonstop nagging the hell out of him, until he finally caved.
Here’s how I assume that conversation went down:
Kim: But Kaaaaaaaanye…
Kanye: Kim, I said no!
Kim: I’LL MURDER OUR FUCKING CHILD!
Kanye: Jesus Christ! What the fuck was I thinking putting my genius penis inside you? I’ll do it. Calm down.
Kim: Great! Have fun, babe! Love you!
That’s just the way relationships work. Your significant other asks you to do something, you say no, she flips the fuck out, and you end up doing it out of fear that she’ll cut you in your sleep.
Anyway, here’s the clip:
The fuck? I’ve been a Kanye fan for a while, and this is not how the man normally talks. I don’t know if it’s because he’s on his girlfriend’s mom’s show, or if he’s just been hanging out with Scott Disick too much, but he sounds about as hard as cotton candy in this interview. He sounds like Wayne Brady talking to a Bed Bath & Beyond salesperson. He sounds whiter than Barack Obama.
I don’t really care how the man chooses to enunciate his words, or what accent he decides to wear for what occasion, as long as he keeps making music using his awesome rap voice, but this was too funny not to comment on.
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Ross Bolen
Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles: Game of Thrones podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover sports podcast, 2017 Masters attendee, bigger and more loyal Rockets, Astros and Texans fan than you, cheese enchilada aficionado, and nap god.
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Barack Obama: Black people haven’t trusted a white guy so blindly since the 1400s.
I think you mean “enunciate” and not “annunciate”?
Fridays! Am I right?
Thanks though, you bastard.
“Genius Penis” sounds like the title of a possible Kanye rap