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An uncomfortable reality of your 20s is the drastic wage gap that so abruptly presents itself in the first few years out of school. For most of us, the playing field was fairly level in college, the biggest discrepancy in income being friends whose parents bankrolled their fun and those that didn’t.
Then, all of the sudden, people get jobs.
Well, some people get jobs. Others go to grad school, or try their hand at “acting” (waitressing), or do something crazy like start a blog.
Either way, almost overnight, the wage discrepancy goes from minimal to awkwardly astronomical. There’s a big difference in going the finance rout versus the non-profit route and that’s just an unfortunate reality of being an adult. That being said, with a little adjustment friends find a balance (unless your friends are English majors, then I’m so sorry but you’re footing the bill forever).
When it comes to the only activity I do outside of work (drinking), I’ve seen different friends handle the wage discrepancy conundrum differently. I’m being genuine when I say that I’m okay with any of the tactics people use to handle the bill after a long night of boozing. That is, unless you’re Math Guy. Then I hate you.
Math Guy is the person at the bar that when everyone throws their card in, he calculates exactly how much his Angry Orchard Cider was minus the fries because he ate at home, and then asks the waiter to please charge that much on the “blue card.”
Math Guy is the one that Venmo requests you $3 for the happy hour shot he bought you last week and demands you take the $5 bill he’s shoving in your coat pocket because his Pinot Grigio was $4 more expensive + tip.
Maybe Math Guy is a low earner because his dream of becoming a freestyle rapper or local barber doesn’t pay that well. Or, maybe he’s just incredibly stingy and doesn’t understand how social drinking works. Either way, when I am drinking, I refuse to perform a 10-step calculous proof on the back of the check because Timothy wants to know how much a Bloody Mary is, not including tax, plus tip, minus garlic knots. No. No, Math guy. I simply won’t do it.
I understand that money is tricky and that people, especially those just starting out, need to stick to a budget. If I’m out with a friend who’s strapped for cash, I’m more than happy to buy them a round. With my close friends, we usually just take turns picking up the check knowing that we’ll be taken care of next time. If I’m out with a peripheral friend group, how about we go round for round? Are we on a date and you want to pick up the check? I’ll buy the wine next time we cook.
Really, I’m very flexible. Can we all throw our cards in and have the guy who had one beer give us cash? Totally. Can Danny Venmo request everyone in the morning if his boss says something about the company credit card charge? Sure!
Can we put $25.69 on the red card, $28.37 on the blue card, and $29.50 on the other red card and leave a tip in cash? I’ll say it again, Math Guy. No.
Long story short, if I have PTSD after I leave the bar from having to do the square root of six whiskey shots, two Moscow mules and an order of sliders, you’re uninvited to any event that includes a tab.
Plus, I am declining your Venmo request for $3.85. .
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CallMeVictoria
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I went out with 3 guys in college once. 2 had a beer, 2 had a soda. We split a pizza. Bill was $16. With tip, that’s $20. Or $5/ea. One dude suggested he was paying $4 because he didn’t drink a beer, he had soda.
This was in 2002. The only thing I remember about this guy is this dirtbag move.
2002-21=1981 woah
I was 20. But yeah.
I just got paid $6784 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $9k her first month. It feels so good making so much money ZX when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do… Onlinecareer10.com
I don’t care so much if the split bill is only a few dollars over what I actually spent, but I choose to drink cheap while I’m out for a reason: I’m broke.
If everyone else is drinking $10 cocktails and I had two 3 dollar beers… sorry but I’m not forking over a $20 portion of the bill. Luckily all my friends are also pretty broke (liberal arts majors stick together) so this doesn’t really arise, but reading this gave me anxiety. Maybe this makes me Math Girl, but I’ll take it.
Fun fact, most restaurants will give you individual checks if you ask.
Not everyone is able to offer the level of service Chilis provides.
^comment of the year candidate
Oh yeah, I’m a fan of the individual check in a small group, but this post seems to be more focused on the large, one-check type of group.
If you’re not making a mad dash to charge it to your card so you can clean up on points, you’re missing out
Gotta love Chase Feedom’s 5% back in restaurants quarter. Max that baby out every time.
All about stacking the Sapphire Reserve (3x) and the Chase Freedom during that 5% quarter!
Ultimate rewards points are the GOAT. PGP.
What Math Guy doesn’t understand is that throwing your card in and calling it a day makes you way happier than an extra $1.85 ever will.
This
There’s a button for that
Meh
Used to be a girl in our friend group who would insist we split the check based on who ordered what for dinner. She was “in charge” so would pass the bill around the table and ask everyone to put their amount owed down for them and their date. When the bill came back to her, people always either over estimated so she saved a few bucks, or she’d pass it around again because “Guys, there’s no way my meal and wine costs what’s left.” She was the all-time worst.
Have a friend who is notorious for sending venmo requests the next day for ubers and shots of the alcohol they brought to pregames. These people are the worst are why they have been kicked out of the group text when discussing plans.
…shots of the alcohol they brought for pregames? These people are really keeping tabs of how many fluid ounces are being poured? What kind of world are we living in!!
Pro tip: buy them more shots so they don’t remember.
What really drives me nuts are those few friends who are totally cool letting everyone else go round for round but then never end up buying a round. If you can’t afford to buy a round for the group, don’t accept the drinks everyone else is buying.
This shit drives me fucking crazy.. sometimes I’ll wait until they go to the bathroom to get a round because they piss me off so much
Worst person is the guy who always seems to have beer in his glass, except when a round is being bought. Then his glass is empty and he’s ready for another. This is also the guy who manages to avoid buying rounds for people. Don’t be this guy.
I have a friend just like this. Makes me way more annoyed than I should be during a night out.
It all evens out over time. Maybe I’m paying for more than I consumed one night, but I’m sure there are other nights I really luck out and basically got mozz sticks for free. I’ve been mentally weeding people out of my life lately with this method: based on whether they are Math Guy(or girl) or can all just split it
Was taught from a young age that almost all personality traits can be forgiven & forgotten, but cheapness sticks around forever. Best lesson I ever learned.
Math guy can’t count strokes on the golf course but can tell you within two pennies what his tab should have been. Something doesn’t… add up?