Just Kidding! Feds Agree That Powdered Alcohol Is A Horrible Idea

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I guess I wasn’t the only person who thought that was a terrible idea.

Yesterday, news broke that a powdered alcohol product called “Palcohol” was approved by the US Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau for sale in the US. The founder of Palcohol, Mark Philips, wanted to create a product that would allow him to enjoy an alcoholic beverage after a long day of outdoor activities, like hiking, without having to lug around heavy bottles of alcohol.

Unfortunately for him, the millions of Americans with dreams of smuggling powdered alcohol into theaters, sporting events and houses of worship, and, God help us, the morons who would no doubt try to snort the powder, there was no such approval for the product. A representative for the Tax and Trade Bureau emailed the Associated Press saying that the approvals were issued in error, but no further details were explained, including how the “error” occurred.

Sounds like somebody in the government got cold feet. Probably for good reason, though. Powdered alcohol just couldn’t end any other way but incredibly poorly. False alarm, folks. Guess we’ll just have to stick with our alcoholic Jello and wine that comes from boxes.

[via KATU]

image via Reddit

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JayTas

JayTas is PGP's resident News Horse and Chief Jewish Correspondent. He's a comedy writer by day, fiery Latina by night. A native New Yorker, JayTas can often be seen sobbing into slices of pizza, obnoxiously rooting for New York Sports, and attempting to not get fired. So far, so good.

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    • 4
      BitterJD

      Absorbs much faster through the sinus membranes than through stomach. Same thing with inhaling pot and eating pot brownies.

      Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 5 months ago
        • 0
          BitterJD

          Somehow I missed the “butt” part, but it would still be a higher alcohol percentage than just about anything but straight liquor. Both are idiotic, and no self-respecting post grad would do either.

          Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 5 months ago
    • 5
      JayTas

      I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a Movie Theater serve Alcohol.

      If you’re talking about a Broadway/Live Theater, I’d rather mix my own alcohol in a water bottle than pay $11 for a tiny cup of booze. I’m not about that life.

      Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 5 months ago
      • 1
        IKilledJennySchecter

        Nitehawk in Williamsburg has drink specials for each movie (Spring Breakers had Sex on the Beach, that was fun). Angelika has drinks too, but both mostly play art house films.

        LA is bigger on this, though. ArcLight, The Bridge and a few others do 21+ screenings.

        Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 5 months ago
        • 2
          JayTas

          Very few things can get me to Williamsburg, and a movie theater with drink specials isn’t one of them.

          It’s easier to just smuggle beers into the theater in my neighborhood and just pretend I have giant testicles.

          Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 5 months ago
          • 9
            otter86

            i was going to say… a flask turns turns every movie theater into one that serves alcohol

            Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 5 months ago
        • 0
          themiguy

          Its a big in Atlanta. All the AMCs and some other smaller theaters do it also.

          Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 5 months ago