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Alright, everyone. Glad to be here, glad to see your shining faces. I know it’s been a minute since I’ve chimed in, but it’s time I make like a politician and absolutely flip my opinion about something mildly important to all of us. I will cut to the chase.
I am 100% done with dating apps.
I know, I know. You’re surprised. Scared, even. Me too. But let me explain.
One year ago, I loved dating apps. Bumble, in particular, had resulted in a fun and exciting new relationship for me. I had next to zero complaints, except the fact that it takes a full 30 days to get your Bumble down after you deactivate your account. But now? Oh. Boy. Now is a completely different story.
I can’t even tell you how much I loathe the idea of these contraptions. Bumble. Tinder. Coffee and fucking Bagel? Is this even real?
I am so sick of the right or left swipes, the bio judgments, the photo rankings… all of it. I am so utterly and fucking tired of the entire online-dating game, that I am swearing off of it. As of today, I’m done swiping. I’m done liking. I’m done messaging. Unless I meet some schmuck at a bar, or a Whole Foods, or an alumni event, I’m just committing myself to being single for a very long time. I tried it again just for a confidence booster, and it’s clear that this is a waste of my precious time.
This year, I’m all about celibacy. I’m all about skin care routines. Matching silky pajamas. Taking my vitamins, working out daily, you know the deal.
To be quite honest, I’ve grown weary of the online dating game. That’s a young man’s game, and I’m on the wrong side of 25 to be acting like that now. It’s time I give up the gun and just try it out the old-fashioned way. Guaranteed I’m going to be a cat-lady (with no cats) until I graduate law school, anyway, so what is the rush? Dating apps are just a bother. They’re wasting my time. They’re wasting these dudes’ time on an idiot like me, and we are all better off just being offline and shooting our shots in real life.
I used to be all about it. But now I recognize that those feelings were misplaced and immature. The marriage rate keeps going down. The divorce rate keeps going up. I think it’s time for me to just look out for #1 and do my own damn thing. Who else is going to appreciate my matching silk and navy Eberjey pajamas anyway? I’ll tell you who: no one.
It’s time we go old school. See you guys on the other side. .
Respond
@taylordoestweet
@itsthestovallshow
sexychocolate
I’m 28 and went on a Tinder date last night, so that’s where i’m at.
Congrats on the sex
But how are you supposed to meet someone in real life?
What is “real life?” Is it like some expansion or DLC?
There’s a micro transaction to access it
Here is an early Congrats on your new relationship in a month that will inevitably happen because you aren’t looking for one anymore!
*shamefully keeps swiping away in cubicle*
The building I regularly work out of deliberately blocks all cell signals (yes, it’s a giant Faraday cage, be design). PGP.
Recently started going to line dance lessons at a country bar. The ratio is always solid and most girls are dancing with their friends or sitting around dying for a guy to dance with. I’m an idiot for not doing this for the past two years…
You just gotta find your niche.
YES! Get out and do something instead of sitting around honing your online character. Good advice!
“honing your online character.” Extremely accurate way to describe the way we are changing.
Good for you, Taylor.
I always have these thoughts and then three days later I’m back to swiping like it’s my damn job.
Are internet “sups?” still cool with you, though? Asking for myself
I met my wife on Coffee meets Bagel at the ripe old age of 29… for anyone still using that needs a success story.
Right there with you. I can’t look at another gym selfie or trophy fish photo again.
I was on every single app for like 2 years, never really had much luck. I was meeting the same kinds of girls, same first dates, same mini flings etc. Finally I decided to change the types of girls I was dating, I was more open to dating girls of other ethnicities and backgrounds than my usual type.
Once I did this my luck started to change. I met my last and current girlfriend on Tinder of all places. There’s some great girls/guys on the apps, but you have to broaden your horizon and your be open to other types.