Another ‘Wine Is Good For You’ Study To Justify Your Alcoholism

Another "Wine Is Good For You" Study To Justify Your Alcoholism

Everybody knows that until there’s a new study published in two months saying otherwise, wine is good for you. That’s how it works. Anti-oxidants, free radicals, grapes, and stuff.

Much like coffee, we can’t survive without it and we’ll share the hell out of any article that tells us that wine really is good for us. Did we actually read the article? Probably not, but the headline tells us all we need to know, so who gives a fuck?

Enter the good people at Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. According to their study, wine can contribute to the prevention of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease. Niceeee. Apparently, master sommeliers have thicker parts of the brain in areas that are generally affected by those diseases. So, in theory, it’s more difficult to feel the effects. Wine gives you a thicker brain. Got it.

The head of the study, Dr. Sarah Banks, told the New York Post, “Though we don’t know for sure, there is a possibility that when it comes to the brain, thicker is better…It seems like if you have more brain in those areas, it’ll take longer to feel the effects of the disease, but it’s speculation.”

That’s probably all you needed to read. Yes, there’s the whole “speculation” thing, but life is all about speculation. Worry about actual data and results down the road. For now, throw on Narcos season two, pour up some Mark West and read some subtitles.

[via Esquire]

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Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

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