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I was at a party a few weekends ago when a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in awhile sauntered up to me. We spoke for a few minutes about developments in our social and professional lives and sipped keg beer. But somewhere between minutes five and ten of the conversation, it felt like neither of us knew what to do with our hands. Something was off. One hand would occasionally be used to pick up and set down a red cup full of light domestic beer, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had lost something.
At this point in time, it is nearly impossible to not own a smartphone. And what he and I realized while we stood there dumbfounded was that we were both looking for our phones. We just didn’t know it. It felt unnatural to not have it resting in the palm of our hands.
The phones (an iPhone 5SE and an iPhone 6 Plus) were in our winter jackets on a bed in another room, and we both beelined it to find our phones. It had been ten whole minutes since we had unlocked our precious handheld computers and surely someone had texted. Something must have happened in the time that it took us to drink one half of a twelve-ounce beer.
I naturally had no new notifications and I think my friend had a few text messages from a group chat, but that was it. Nothing of consequence had happened, and yet the need to look down, scroll Twitter for anything new, and check out what was happening on Snapchat was priority number one for both of us.
Meaningful, engaging conversation with someone you haven’t seen in three months? Why would I want that when I can text people in a group chat who aren’t at this party? Why would I want to catch up with a good friend when I could watch assholes dive through frozen tailgate tables?
After the retrieval of our little black boxes the conversation, which at one point had been moderately stimulating, was now dead in the water and it’s all thanks to the phone.
I spent the next couple of minutes nodding along as my buddy spoke about God knows what, looking at Instagram pictures from people I don’t know personally. He did the same when it was my turn to speak. It’s a sad existence we find ourselves in just a few weeks out from 2018.
I’m guilty and so are you. My three roommates and I spend hours at a time in our living room with a television on that no one watches. Pre-games. Trips to the bar. Going to a Christkindlmarket as a squad.
We sit in silence huddled over our phones, cruising the internet for another meme, another tweet, another listicle. No one is talking anymore. I’ve seen entire parties full of people crowded around in a kitchen and everyone is just looking at their phones. Loud music reverberates through the room and we’re unfazed by it. Nothing can distract us from what’s happening on our screens.
Anyone have a charger?
What’s the wifi password here?
The bathroom down the hall has great lighting for selfies.
We sound like fucking crackheads, you guys. Is this our lives now? Can we just get off of our fucking phones for five minutes and enjoy what’s happening in front of us? It’s so ridiculous that I even have to write about this because it wasn’t like this three or four years ago. We all still had iPhones (or a Droid if you’re a total fucking loser) but there didn’t seem to be a need like there is now to constantly be checking it.
I always thought the idea of those “Put Your Phone In A Basket At The Front Door When You Arrive” parties were stupid but after some really introspective observation, I think that’s the only way we’re going to get back to normal, one on one I.R.L. interaction. Because if we continue down the road we’re currently on, what’s the point of going to a party? What’s the point of ever leaving your room? Somethings gotta give, you guys. This is ridiculous. .
Image via Unsplash
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jduda@grandex.co
Just got back from a weekend in Red River Gorge with 15 of my closest friends for our annual beer olympics. Minimal phone usage due to minimal service. I think I looked at my phone for a grand total of 15 minutes all weekend and it was glorious. Being in a cabin in a remote area is meant for making stupid decisions while blackout drunk, not social media.
Spend time with people who make you forget you have a phone.
Any vacation with limited or no cell service is always the best time IMO.
Weird… I wasn’t there?
Stop thinking you are my friend or that I even care about you, please. It’s not a good look.
Side note, tequila shots this weekend at Rhinehaus?
I don’t understand this dynamic that’s happening.
Is it a bit? Are we going to see a murder? I’m intrigued.
Can I join?
I only associate with PGP members that have flown to see workfromhome.
To be fair, I didn’t ask IWishIWasSober to fly out to me. She just kinda showed up
I wasn’t asking you if I could join. I was asking IWishIWasSober. We’d probably have more fun if you didn’t come tbh.
As long as I know my phone is safe and has not been stolen by a teenage hooligan, I’m more than okay with putting it in my purse and ignoring it for hours. It makes double fisting drinks that much easier.
As long as the left drinking fist doesn’t have a ring on it, sup?
The great and powerful Joe Rogan has a “no phones” policy during his podcast. That’s all you need to know.
Ring the bell, michah.
Yeah but he also has a screen that Jamie can whip up whatever the hell they’re talking about on. Same principle as Duda’s friend showing him instagram shit
For once you’re bitching about something that needs to be bitched about. Thanks Duda
It all comes down to social anxiety that seems to have exploded out of nowhere over the past 5 years as people sink deeper into the internet life. People are ridiculously concerned about contributing to a conversation or saying something insightful every second they’re next to someone else. If they don’t know what to say, they immediately jump to the phone. It is beyond tiring to try and keep up with, and as a rule I generally just walk away when a phone gets whipped out without so much a.
My best friends in the world can share a beer, listen to music and not feel like we have to talk or be on our phones every single second we’re in the same room. Seems to me that the phone is a crutch for people lacking self-confidence and are overly anxious. I sympathize, but it’s turning good nights into pretty bland ones quick.
Too long didn’t read
without so much as a word*
“Putting your phone in the basket” kinda sounds like a swingers party
I’m never giving up my flipper phone. It still has battery life for literal days, I can use it for emergencies and talking to people I want/need to talk to and I can also go underwater for 24 hours and no one even questions it. Downsides include people assuming you’re a seaweed dealer or living a double life but sometimes it pays to keep people on their fins
I didn’t realize how bad I’d gotten about this till I went out to dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in about a year and realized she never once took out her phone. It was the best conversation I’d had in months and I never felt the need to pull mine out either.
Definitely, like the game where you see who pulls their phone out first and how long it takes for the next person too
The ole pull out game…..
There’s nothing more infuriating than trying to have a meaningful or serious conversation with someone while they scroll through their phone or text someone else. I’ve made it a personal habit to put my damn phone down on dates, if I’m getting dinner with a friend, etc. There’s a small part of me that hopes the other person notices I actually give a shit about talking to them, hanging out with them, connecting with them.
Whipping your phone out during conversation used to be viewed as rude, but it’s become so common that we just accept it now.
Getting annoyed by it, however, is a good way to drive yourself crazy.