Instagram Is Updating Their ‘Stories’ Feature To Make It Even More Confusing

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The great thing about Instagram stories was that you never really got super nervous about taking a shitty photo of yourself and blasting it off to the world like you did on Snapchat. It was simple – you take a photo, post it, and watch none of your followers actually view it. Even less people viewed it than who viewed that Boomerang you posted, which means pretty much no-fucking-one watched it.

But now Instagram has really improved confused things with their new update which will feature @-mentions, the use of Boomerang, and links in stories where you can pimp your personal blogspot that will be updated three times only to never be updated again.

Mentions

My biggest peeve on Instagram is when dumbasses comment on someone’s photo and mention them in the comment. Like earth to old person, they get a notification that you commented whether you @-mention them or not. Chill.

Per Instagram, you can take your annoying mentioning even further.

When you mention someone in your story, their username will appear in your story with an underline. Anyone who can see your story can tap it to go to their profile.

People you mention will get a push notification telling them that you’ve mentioned them in your story. They’ll also get a direct message from you that includes a preview of your story. This preview disappears from the message thread after 24 hours.

You can mention up to 10 people in each photo or video you share to your story. If you mention multiple people, they’ll each get a message from you individually.

Now your biggest fear when waking up from a hazy night of lemon drops goes from getting tagged in a Facebook photo to getting tagged in an Instagram story. This is the progress Obama has always preached.

Boomerang

You know what Boomerang is. It’s that gif-y kind of thingy where it’s not really a video but it’s definitely not a photo. It’s just a video that plays for two seconds, rewinds on itself, and then plays again. Over, and over, and over again. Like a fucking boomerang.

If you were social media savvy (also known as a 23-year-old female), you were uploading your Boomerangs to your story long ago. But that required taking the Boomerang in Boomerang and then uploading it to your story. And in a world where time is money, that entire process was just a bitch to go through.

And now, you don’t have to worry about that anymore because you can take the Boomerang in the story, praise be to Zuckerberg.

Thanks to the above image from Bustle, we see that you have two options – camera or Boomerang. Now you can get away from the embarrassment that is having only 87 video views and keep that in silence in your Instagram story. But as Cazzie David said, never fucking post a Boomerang in your feed in the first place.

Links

Oh, and you can add links to your story as well. This is valuable for major media brands on Instagram and basic girls who start lifestyle blogs that have a shelf life of three months, max. Sadly, this is only currently available to verified accounts.

Again, per Instagram:

Adding links to your story is a feature that’s currently being tested. Right now, only verified accounts are able to add links to their story.

When you add a link to your story, people will see See More at the bottom of the screen, and can tap to view the link inside the app.

So be on the lookout for brands to be pimping their content and clothing (read: us) to you in the near future. Happy posting! Just kidding, there’s no way I’ll be able to figure out half this shit until it’s already considered uncool by teenagers. .

[via Bustle]

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Will

Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.

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