I’ve been noticing something that has become increasingly prevalent among my immediate group of friends, extended group of friends, and peers in general. There is absolutely zero shame anymore. Before I get into what I mean by this, I will say that I have been guilty of the below in the past. Instagram and Snapchat have literally removed any bit of remorse for how shallow a “millennial” can really be.
It’s no secret that a majority of the shit we post on social media is mainly so that others see what we are doing, where we have been, or who we are with. If you haven’t accepted this fact or you are convinced otherwise, don’t worry – I’m here to tell you that you are dead wrong. I have no problem with this and, as I have mentioned, have done it myself ten times over. Where my problem lies is within the packaging and framing of certain posts trying to hide the true underlying reason for sharing a picture… I’m sure you’ve seen some of the following.
Oh, your friend or family member got married? That’s awesome, but that post of you and your girlfriend/boyfriend standing at the open bar, the newlyweds nowhere to be found and a caption congratulating them doesn’t fool me for a second. You want people to focus on your relationship. That caption is a half-assed attempt at hiding that fact so people don’t recognize what they’re really looking at. Newsflash: you’ve been found out.
Wait, you don’t say… it’s your 85-year-old Instagram-less grandmother’s birthday? Or, say… I don’t know… a friend. Many would argue a text, call or party centered around the person is the first logical step to ensuring they feel the love, correct?
Well, wrong. In today’s world, the first logical step is to get done up in your best button-down or sundress (gender-dependent, or not, who knows) and take a picture with them. Or even better, find an old picture in which you think you look the most attractive and caption it something like, “Happy Birthday Grandma/Friend, I love you sooooo much and I would be nowhere without you!!!”
You’re not fooling anyone. You look good in this picture and you want to show people while hiding it under the guise that you’re grandma somehow will appreciate the post more than a hug. Now, your friend will undoubtedly see the post but the fact that you look good is why the picture is up on your feed, don’t BS a BS’er.
Last but not least, my personal favorite. The Marathoner, CrossFitter, Triathlete, Tough Mudder picture. I would be willing to bet a fair sum of money that most men and women my age running marathons don’t know why the first ever marathon was run. Well, let me enlighten everyone… it was run to simply relay a message.
Today, we have people posting pictures of specific events (mainly marathons) proclaiming how fortunate they are to have been able to train and run with their friends and for a cause. Don’t get me wrong, raising money for cancer is noble in any capacity and running 26.2 miles is no easy feat, but yet again, you’re fooling no one with the post of you mid-stride in your bib. Like, come on. You ran it for one reason but are posting for another – to let everyone else know you did it. The Children’s Hospital isn’t getting any gratification from being recognized to your base of 300 followers – you are. They are getting gratification from the money that is helping them.
Now, Snapchat stories are just the live version of the above. Storying a video selfie of you and your grandma with the caption “It’s this girls birthday!!!” is just downright shameless. But, where we have gone completely off the rails is with the new SnapMap feature. You could be a non-douche and just go straight to ghost mode, or you can take the lowkey-douche road and throw on your location while in the Hamptons, Florida, California or anywhere else with a beach.
This is so painfully shameless that it’s laughable. I believe the logic here goes, “If someone wants to know where I am, they can text me but I will be a huge douche and turn on my location to show everyone I’m at my second lake house in Vermont with the Snap story to back it up.” We get it, the whole art of being an insufferable asshat in person is completely out of the question at this point.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy posting stuff and getting likes as much as the next person. But it’s time we come to the above realization that we’re all shameless when it comes to the real reason we put stuff out there on Instagram or Snapchat for others to see: recognition.
Yet, there are those who genuinely don’t care about posting their business for the world to see and are perfectly content being off the grid. Those people should be applauded… on Snapchat… on their friend’s story… all while looking super cute using dog filter. .