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In Honor Of Her Return, A Ranking Of Amanda Bynes Movies

amanda

You guys remember Amanda Bynes, right? The star of Nickelodeon classics All That and The Amanda Show who tweeted a bunch of crazy shit, lost her mind, and then disappeared from view? Well, Ms. Bynes wants to start acting again and I for one am all in.

Before she had a Britney-style meltdown, Bynes was the star of some of my favorite films. I have no shame in admitting my love for Amanda, and the information, via Page Six, that she wants to return to acting in 2018 is perhaps the most exciting news I’ve gotten thus far this year. Of course, we’re only about a week in the new year, but still…it’s exciting.

So exciting, in fact, that I decided to break out my DVDs of Bynes’ films and engage in a full-on Amanda-thon. Full-disclosure: it’s like -5 out, so I wasn’t going to leave the house anyway and I don’t really have anything else to do, but let’s just say I did it for the ‘tent, shall we? I watched for the people, because what the world needs now is a ranking of Amanda Bynes movies, and I work for the people.

7. Big Fat Liar, 2002

It’s a kid’s movie based off of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” co-starring that kid from Malcolm in the Middle. That’s all you really need to know. Moving on.

6. Love Wrecked, 2005

I’m not even sure this one counts, since “after several failed attempts to interest a theatrical distributor in the U.S” (thanks, Wikipedia), this one dropped on ABC Family. But whatever, I’ll give it a mercy ranking. Let’s continue on with Wikipedia’s synopsis, shall we? Because while I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve watched this one, I can’t really do the ridiculousness of the plot justice:

Jenny Taylor (Amanda Bynes) is a fan of Jason Masters (Chris Carmack), a world-famous rock star, but her efforts to meet him are always thwarted by her nemesis, Alexis (Jamie-Lynn Sigler). Hoping to get another chance, Jenny takes a job at Masters’ favorite Caribbean resort, joined by her best friend Ryan (Jonathan Bennett). Jenny sneaks aboard a party vessel Jason is on, and when Jason is washed overboard, Jenny jumps in to save him. Though the pair find themselves marooned in a secluded cove of a seemingly-deserted island, Jenny soon discovers that they have landed a short distance from the resort. She lets him believe they are stranded so she can make him fall in love with her.

Oh, how Meadow Soprano and Aaron Samuels have fallen.

5. Hairspray, 2007

TBH, I much preferred the original Hairspray, but Bynes’ gives a decent performance as best friend Penny Pingleton. That’s all I really have to say here.

4. Easy A, 2010

Emma Stone was the “official” star of this movie based on The Scarlett Letter, but Bynes (in her last film role to date) steals the show as holier-than-thou high schooler Marianne Bryant. We all knew “that girl” in high school and hated her guts, and you’ll hate Marianne just as much. Bonus points are given to this one for having Gossip Girl’s Penn Badgley as the love interest back when he was still hot.

3. Sydney White, 2007

In my opinion, Sydney White is an overlooked gem. Taking a shot every time you find a tie to Snow White (which it’s based on) is a fun drinking game and let’s be honest, the depiction of fraternity/sorority life isn’t that far off the mark. And while she meets a hot guy, she doesn’t need him to save her – she does it all by herself, thankyouverymuch.

2. What a Girl Wants, 2003

I love, love, love this movie, based on The Reluctant Debutante. I literally cry at the end every single time I watch it, and I know what’s going to happen. There’s English accents, there’s Colin Firth (the hottest dad ever), there’s a super-fake Queen Elizabeth…what else do you need, people?

1. She’s The Man, 2006

I have to admit, I struggled with the ranking this one above What A Girl Wants, but there’s one thing that pushes this one over the top. You might think that it’s that Bynes spends about 75% of the movie masquerading as her brother (who she looks nothing like) in this remake of the far-superior 1985 movie Just One Of The Guys (both based on Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night), but that’s not what gives She’s The Man the top spot. Instead, it’s her co-star:

tenor

She’s not, but you sure as hell are, Mr. Tatum.

So there you have it. Fun fact that I learned while re-watching? Five of Bynes’ seven movies are actually based on legitimate works of literature. Who knew? Now let’s see what her next film will be. Just don’t call it a comeback, she’s been here for years, through these cinematic classics.

Image via Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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