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I have a gym membership at my local gym. And this isn’t the local YMCA or anything like that — this gym is legit. Monstrous free weight section, lots of treadmills and elliptical machines, a tanning booth, and multiple steroid users. Typical gym stuff that any meathead would enjoy.
Me, personally? I don’t really lift weights. Never been into that scene. I used to walk into the weight room, grab the 25 pound dumbbells and crush out like 15 curls because I wanted to get ready for the beach. I lifted legs once, and when I was walking like I just had a train ran on me, I gave that up. I mainly joined this gym so I could stay in somewhat good shape so girls wouldn’t throw trash at me or spit at me because I looked like a dumpster. Due to my basketball career, I can no longer use the treadmill or elliptical because my knees are like a crushed bag of Doritos and will completely fall apart. I started using the bike, but even that started hurting. I knew I needed to get a sweat in as often as I could so I had to think of what the best thing would be and then it hit me. I could just embrace the sauna life.
Sauna life is something I created. It is essentially going in the sauna for a long period of time and sweating out every fluid you have in your body. Whether it was water, the 130 Bud Lights from the night before, blood, semen, anything that could be considered a fluid — it’s gone. It has become the perfect place for me. I can get a sweat in when I need to, and I don’t need to stay at the gym for a long time. To this day, since I got my gym membership, I have not lifted a single weight.
The sauna is the most relaxing place. I pretty much just lie down and hang out. I’ll read whatever book I am reading at the time, or I will read the day’s news when someone leaves their newspaper behind. I get to do all of these things, and I get a good sweat in. I don’t need to lift weights and get tired. No time for all of that noise. The sauna experience will often leave you feeling very much alive. Your senses will be sharpened, and your tactile sensitivity heightened. This is also known as becoming a ninja.
Sauna life has some negatives, though. One being that you may shrivel up like a raisin if you are in there for too long. There is a legit risk for going in there for too long, but at this point, my body has been trained to make sure this doesn’t happen. I don’t even sweat when I play basketball anymore because my body doesn’t get hot enough. Olympian type shit.
Then there’s the other thing that may change your view on life as you know it: old men dragging their balls all over the place. Older guys just come strutting in, balls hanging down to their knees, and just pop a squat right next to you. No regard for human life. Savage shit. They sit spread eagle and pretty much give you a roman helmet while you’re trying to relax. You tend to get used to it after a while, but it still never gets easy to see as they walk in the door. At some point in my life, I’m going to just walk around balls flopping and give them a taste of their own medicine. I still have a lot to learn in that department, though.
Thing is with the old men, they don’t give a fuck at all. Who are they trying to impress? They have no issue walking out of the gym itself with their balls slanging around. I can’t wait to get to that stage in life. That stage where you can get away with everything because “you’re old.”
Sauna life is a revolutionary way to work out. To all of those who haven’t gone into a sauna, try it out. It’ll change the way you want to work out. It’ll change the way you live..
Respond
@RPShee
Saunas and Steam Rooms are God’s gift. I just wish it was more like that stock photo where you go in with your Post Grad Dad Bod and some smokeshow dime piece comes out of no where and merely says, “Hey, your lap looks comfy. May I lay my head on it?” But for now, all we can do is dream. Happy Friday
Heisenberg nailed it:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt9P_xobBcU
Like they say, build a thousand bridges and suck one dick. You’re not a bridge builder, you’re a dick sucker.
The YMCA has coed saunas and steam rooms…
You neglected one thing… The abundance of middle aged men who insist on being nude
“Should I wrap this towel around me and be a decent human being?… Nah, better just hold it and wander around”
What kind of bitch sauna is this where you can relax and read a book? Being from the north lands and of Finnish heritage we run them up to 180* where you are drenched in sweat instantly. I’m talking puddles, during a good sauna session you might consume a gallon of water and can’t even even keep up with how much you sweat.
180°? Pic or GTFO, that’s dumb.
What are you, a sauna expert?
Hat in hand, researched it and found it to be true. Apologies for being an utter jackass.
Wood stove, easily gets that hot and sometimes you have to bail when the steam starts to almost burn. My friend’s that just got finished and we have been running it this summer, makes 90* feel refreshing when you get it out.
Family friend of mine built a sauna on their beach. Going Finnish style and jumping in the Puget Sound to cool off is the best way to sauna.