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It was December 19, 1997. My entire family, grandmother, and grandfather had piled into our van and were headed to the movie theater to see a little film about a sinking ship. On the way there, my mom warned me that there was going to be nudity in the movie (I was 5, after all, and this film was a bold PG-13), and told me to be cool about it. Everyone was dying to see it, and so I was just brought along, the little girl whose life was about to change.
After that first time seeing Titanic, we saw it in theaters 14 more times, much to my dad’s wallet’s dismay.
I could write a whole long, rambling article about my love for the film — how it changed cinematic history, how it bonded my brothers and I when we were young. I actually considered just switching gears right now and doing that. But, I came here for a reason. I opened this document for one purpose and one purpose only: To give a voice to those out there who are voiceless.
You see, Titanic changed my life in many ways. But one that has truly stuck with me for the past 21 years, is one little line toward the start of the film. Let me paint you the familiar picture, shall I? Jack and Rose are standing on the stern of the R.M.S Titanic. Rose is distressed and wants to jump into the propellers and Jack is like, “Nah, you’re hot. I want to win this bitch over.” So, to talk her over from the side of the ledge, he rambles on about, you guessed it folks, ice fishing.
I get it. He was emphasizing that the water was cold and so on. But still, it was those two words, “indoor girl,” that changed my fucking life.
Ever since that day, my friends and family have lovingly called me an indoor girl, because that is, truly, what I am. Now, sure. I love being outside occasionally, but I like it on my terms. A day at the pool? Count me in. Drinking on a patio? Sure, let’s do it. Sitting in a forest reading Harry Potter for the millionth time? I haven’t done it, but that sounds like a delightful time, as long as I have a seat, a snack, and I’m not menstruating, so I don’t attract bears.
My point is, nature shit is fine in the occasional, small doses of my choice. But at the heart of it all, I’m an indoor girl through and through.
And that feels like a really gross thing to admit. Like, there’s this beautiful world full of excitement (read: Instagram opportunities) and adventure (read: Instagram opportunities), and I’d rather sit inside and watch The Office. I fear sunny days because I know I’ll get a flood of texts from people insisting that we should go hiking or mountain climbing or whatever it is people who enjoy sweating and standing like doing. The sheer thought of physical activity in the sun makes me feel nauseous. The lack of air conditioning makes my throat constrict. The fact the there aren’t comfortable seats, a bookshelf of brain candy, or a fridge stocked with Diet Coke right around the corner makes me break out in metaphorical hives.
So, as the season of hiking, camping, and river days are upon us, cut your indoor-loving friends some slack. We’re not making excuses to avoid climbing up a fucking mounting or spending a weekend sleeping on the ground because we hate you. We’re doing it because we think the way you choose to spend your free time is absolutely barbaric, and we’re having none of that shit. Enjoy your summer of sunshine, friends. I’ll be over here, quietly waiting until the days of freezing weather makes it impossible to leave the house, and we all secretly pile on the pounds securely hidden beneath our sweaters. That will be my time to thrive..
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Rachel Varina
if it doesn't have snack or seats, i'm not there. hate mail/Sunny references can be sent to itsrachelvarina@gmail.com
@rachelvarina
@rachelvarina
When I was younger we called these people “couch potatoes.”
I have found that the more time I spend inside at the office, the more I desperately want to be outside. It’s hotter than Satan’s backyard right now, so that time is limited to the morning/evening, but when the weather is good, you can bet I’m trying to go outside.
Satan’s backyard? Or Satan’s ballsack?
I was going for the more polite option, but either works. I’m just waiting for a hobbit to run into my backyard and throw a ring in it.
Sounds more like an aversion to physical activity than a hatred of the outdoors
Maybe it’s leftover from my years in scouts but I’m almost the opposite. Being inside too much makes me feel trapped and I need to just be outside moving around. Plus, like, don’t you get bored sitting on your couch staring at the same wall all the time?
But the “wall” has a device that changes every second.
You do you boo.
Pretty much. I hate bugs and bees but yet have done plenty of parades, some hiking and kayaking.
Is no one going to talk about how a group of people saw a movie in theaters 14 times?
For me it kinda depends on the time of year. Summer in Florida is no bueno I spend most of my time in the AC but between September and March the weather is perfect and I love being outside.
I got to the Titanic part and it reminded me of the spoof done, where Jack actually sounds like he’s from Wisconsin. Spent the next 5 minutes rewatching that clip, if you haven’t seen it be sure to check it out.
Need more people to embrace the indoors, outside is getting too crowded
“We need a new plague”