======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
It’s well known that office snacks are a key component to maintaining a happy office environment. Who doesn’t love being able to grab some potato chips, pistachios, M&Ms, or an energy drink from the break room completely free of charge? I never really considered the person who ordered such snacks an unsung hero… I just would walk in the office and think, “Oh more snacks – cool,” and move about my day. But now that I’m the designated office snack master? Oh, boy. Long gone are the days that I take office snackage for granted.
I feel like a soccer mom trying to handle the post-game snack ritual. Except instead of trying to please a small group of 7-year-olds, I’m facing dozens of hangry, hungover, and grumpy office employees who are way more vocal about, well, everything. Not only do you want to keep your team fueled for maximum productivity, but also snacks are a huge way to create a solid company culture – and that’s a lot of pressure for a snack mom. The snack area is supposed to represent a mini-vacation when someone needs a break from their desk, and it is my job to keep my office an edible playground with a wonderful supply of oatmeal, cookies, dried fruit, soda, and even beer. Food is an integral part of the workday, and I can’t fuck it up.
We order most of our snacks in bulk from Costco, but we also utilize Branch To Box and NatureBox for the healthier folk in the office. Needless to say, the options are wide… It’s the narrowing of options that makes it tricky. Don’t downplay it – selecting and ordering the right snacks each month is an art. First, there’s the employees who need their sugar fix every day at 2 p.m. or else they’ll be relentlessly unproductive. Next, we have the opposite side of the spectrum where anything unhealthy is sworn off of someone’s “diet” they have going for them that week. There’s also the few workers who have the most absurd taste in snacks and insist you order those “garlic plantain chips” every month to satisfy their obscure needs. There’s also a balancing act that I, snack master, need to pay close attention to. For example, I always know that granola and La Croix are the first to go, so I should order more of those upfront so that the amount has some longevity. But for the root beer and peanut butter crackers? I can order less of those since they seem to stick around a bit longer.
Regardless of my purest of pure intentions, however, I always seem to fail. Mark wanted bananas but Stefanie wanted fresh strawberries. Nicole wanted Cheez-Its but Jamil wanted Cheetos. Karen wanted vanilla coffee creamer but Will wanted a soy-based creamer because he’s allergic to dairy. Of course, my goal is to satisfy everyone’s snack cravings all while acknowledging margins of budget, timeframe, and existing inventory I’m required to stay in. Every month I have a few victories with making people happy, but an equal number comes complaining about how I didn’t cater to their wants or needs. I’m not even joking… I was scolded for ordering turkey jerky and not beef jerky and sometimes that just takes a toll on a girl, ya know? As hard as I try, alas, I cannot win. I now have an utmost respect for anyone in charge of snacks for an office space. They are a hero worth of unqualified admiration.
The message here? Be kind to your snack person. They’re doing their best..
Respond
KatieCallaway
Katie is 27 and is from Nashville, TN but lives in Los Angeles, CA as an actress, comedian, writer, and marketing manager. Although some might disagree, she likely peaked when she had dinner with Randy Jackson and he called her “dude” a lot. You can see her active on the Twitterverse at @KECallaway or you can also follow her new Insta at @KatieCallaway even though she hates Instagram.
@kecallaway
@katiecallaway
The only free “snack” my office provides us is coffee…and it sucks. PGP
My last job made us bring our own K-cups, it can be worse
I don’t know, at least with bringing your own you have the option to have something decent, even if it’s on your own dime. That still may be better than burnt free coffee
Teachers lounge has industrial sized Folgers coffee and sadness.
I would kill for a snack person… best we get is fruit on Fridays. FRUIT IS NOT A SNACK
I for one, appreciate the snack master regardless of the snacks bought.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve jokingly told a coworker “Do you really wanna get on the wrong side of the person that holds the keys to the snacks?” so I felt this article on a spiritual level. Another great read from Katie.
Fun fact: that’s our old office. Small world!
Why TF are peanut butter crackers sticking around the longest?
Genuinely curious – is having free snacks around the office a common thing? We get fruit delivered on monday, bagels on Friday, and the occasional catered lunch if there’s a specific meeting that calls for an order but my office doesn’t supply things like chips, granola bars, etc.
I think it’s pretty big in California in general, and also in tech. My sister worked at Facebook and they had everything in house because they worked their employees to the bone. So she could eat three full meals, have unlimited snacks, go to the gym and have her dry cleaning done at work, but she also basically lived there. Most major tech companies and trendy startups do this. Down here in LA where tv/film production dominates the job market, it’s also super common. I think it started as an amenity for clients or workers who are there late/for long hours (my 24 hour production facility is fully stocked), but has since become more standard.
Never been so depressed to work for a non-profit. No snacks here.
No snacks at this for-profit either. They reduce profit.
I’ve been the dedicated snack person for almost 2 years and I have to say DO NOT try to please everyone in your office. It will make you slowly die on the inside everyday. Best advice I can give is pay attention to what your coworkers are saying in the break room about said snacks. You can usually pick up which snacks are preferred over others but if you start taking requests it will never end.
I about quit when the office assistant made a joke about no longer having free soda or beer. I’m in the back half of my twenties and free beer on Fridays has kind of lost its allure, but I need that cold caffeine fix.
The best thing about the “free” snacks and high end coffee is realizing they’re a distraction/minor allocation of money to not have to pay you to market rate or provide optimal benefits because they know investing in retirement for our generation is wasted money lol
With great power come great responsibility.
that’s a given
More realistically, they hope it’ll make you work more hours